The Space Between

Chapter 16

S-Fit That Night

Varian was panting for breath as he struggled to pull his helmet off. His hair was matted with sweat as he leaned over and wretched. He was glad Karmi had a trash can in her lab so he didn't vomit on the floor.

Karmi shoved her helmet off. "Varian!"

"I'm fine," he whispered in a hoarse voice.

She set her equipment aside. "How bad was the shot?"

"Not bad. I'm just dehydrated," Varian muttered.

The answer did not appease her as she cast him an unsatisfied look. "Let me look at it. I'll be the judge of how bad it is."

He rolled his but lifted his shirt enough for the bruising to be visible. Karmi winced at the sight of it. "Varian, that doesn't look good. We should probably tell-"

"No!" He grabbed her arm. "We can't tell anyone because then Professor Granville will find out. And if she finds out, she'll shut us down. And if anyone else finds out, then Becker will find out and if Becker finds out then I'm-" he cut himself off before he finished that sentence. "Karmi, please. I'm fine."

Karmi's eyes widened at the mention of his guardian. Even though Varian was certain no one knew of his home situation, she seemed to get the picture pretty quickly how messy things might become. She let out a sigh. "Fine. I won't say anything. But Granville is bound to find out on her own if she figured out who we are and who Big Hero Six is."

He relaxed and let her go. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it," she deadpanned. Exhaling, she walked over to a cabinet and opened a drawer. "I'm sure I probably have bruise and burn cream somewhere. I keep it around because Hiro always shows up with all these random bruises. He can be such a klutz sometimes." She pulled a tube of bruise cream out and handed it to Varian. "Go crazy."

"Thanks." He squeezed some of the cream on his hand do rub on his bruised torso.

Karmi massaged her face from exhaustion. "These stunts keep getting more dangerous. He's starting to figure out our weak points..."

"We both knew the risks when we started," Varian retorted as he set the tube on the counter.

"Yeah, well, I didn't know you then," she interjected.

"And knowing me makes a difference?" He raised a brow.

She paused, pondering his point.  "Ok.  So maybe it doesn't matter if I know you or not.  But if you're going to be getting hurt-"

"It's one time, Karmi.  I wasn't paying enough attention.  We got this, ok?"

She nodded after she let out a sigh.  "Fine.  You're right.  It's just, maybe I'm not as brave as I thought I'd be. No matter how many times I faced life and death, I thought it would be easier to swallow.  But I don't think I can get used to seeing my friend get hurt..."

"That doesn't change," Varian admitted.  "But you eventually learn that bravery isn't the absence of fear. It's simply acting despite that fear and the risks.  You don't have to continue if-"

"No! At this point, I probably can't stop you, so I'm going to finish this with you.  Whatever it is you're trying to finish." She set her hands on her hips.

Varian grinned.  "Thanks..."

S-Fit the Next Morning

Varian's stomach hurt and it was difficult not to show it.  Sitting in class, listening to the lecture made it more difficult to hide his misery.  As long as nothing touched it and didn't move, he could forget that the bruise was even there.  Now, as long as he could keep Honey Lemon from pulling him into a bear hug, he believed he'd be fine.

He caught Hiro pass him a side glance.  Varian noticed the other teen had been doing it all morning as if he sensed something was off.  He wouldn't put it past the young vigilante. After all, Hiro didn't become the captain of Big Hero Six by not paying close attention to details.  Could it be possible that he was starting to grow suspicious?

Could he had figured it out already? But that would mean Varian was sloppy and accidentally left a clue.  And if Hiro figured it out, then who else would be able to? Professor Granville already did.

"Dude, you look pale," Hiro whispered, leaning closer to him.  "And you're sweating a lot."

It was only then that Varian realized how lightheaded he felt.  His chest was feeling weird too.  It felt like everyone was staring at him, but that couldn't be true.  No one was looking in his direction.  Not even Hiro, who was whispering to him.

He slowly began to recognize what was happening.  It had been awhile since he felt this way.  His mouth was dry and he could hear his heart pounding loudly in his ears.  Nausea began to settle in his stomach as his breathing started to become uneven.

No... Not here! Not now!

"I need to go," he whispered before suddenly standing up and leaving the classroom.

Varian briskly walked through the halls, his hands clawing at his own hair. Why was he having a panic attack now of all times?  It felt so out of the blue.  But then again, he was surprised he'd lasted so long without one.  He thought he'd been better at managing is emotions, but this... This was completely out of control.

"Varian!"

Hiro's voice entered his auditory system. He whirled around to look at the teen, but he lost balance as the world around him spun.  Managing to land on his knees, he did his best to focus on his friend's voice.

"Breathe! Varian, you gotta breathe!"

Hiro sounded panicked, which wasn't helping him any.  Was he breathing? Yes, he was panting, gulping in air faster than if he hadn't been breathing for the past five minutes. Hiro wanted him to slow down. But why did it feel like he couldn't get enough?