Why do you care for me? (KINGDINGS)

Chapter 5

He sees his father standing tall and intimidating, taking full advantage of his looming height as he leans closer to the woman. His presence threatening anyone into submission and the teacher falls silent. Her large eyes widen more. It’s rich black spriling in a swirl of fear into the doorway to her soul with her fluffy ears plastering themselves to the sides of her head. Appearing nothing like the tall golden ears keen on picking up any noise within a range.

“For your benefit, I’d advise you to not question the love I have for my children.”

Gaster whispers eerily. His voice seems to come and wrap around Sans’ throat in a snake-like flutter and he can feel himself lose all his breath as his memory plays games with him. Reminding him extensively of that oh-so familiar voice and he muffles his own choking sound. His thoughts are interrupted by the remaining sentence of Gaster’s words.

“They mean much to me, and you would not have even the slightest idea.”

With this, Sans’ eye sockets widen but in a different manner. With the sudden appearance of all his stolen air, he takes greedy breaths. Grateful for the ability to breathe again and he’s shocked. Of course, it wouldn’t be impossible for one to assume how much Gaster cares for Sans and his brother now, but Sans could still never forgive him for what he did. Especially coupled with his inveterate stretches of disappearances, how could he trust the being? Is he so selfish as to not carry belief that this man, this individual who’d tortured both him and his brother for so long, has changed?

Spite settles itself in his abdomen. Resting comfortably and unwavering as anger and hurt mixes with the feelings to create a trailmix of some sort of mistrust and resentment. However, what he refuses to believe is the steady blooming of other feelings in the mix. A dash of hope for this newly formed individual and reluctance to fully cast him out as unchangeable is slowly taking home and carding through that mess of negativity. This in turn, cases Sans to fear. A fear of inevitable confidence in his father that is leisurely taking its time to build itself, runs through his bones. He knows the moment he lets his guard down, the walls will be inviting to the older skeleton for him to come and make home in his soul, and it terrifies him. He’s so scared that in a moment’s flash like a coin, he’d flip, and tear down all the structures of trust and confidence Sans had spent meticulously crafting for himself with a lack of remorse. He’s so scared, and untrusting.

Gaster withdraws, a blizzard of complexing emotion Sans refuses to believe crosses his face. Sans watches as Gaster’s eyes soften, a ghost of a smile creeps on his face, and eventually, Sans begrudgingly accepts his expression as one that demonstrates love. He feels his grip loosen on the chains of his mind and he allows himself to relax even slightly in knowing that his father does indeed care.

The tension in the air soothes, shifting into a less tense tone and Sans relaxes himself again against his younger brother. He smiles a small grin to himself before cuddling up close like before. He faintly hear the conversation resume back to it’s hushed whispers, but he couldn’t find himself caring anymore. He falls asleep to the timid certainty of his father’s love and allows his eyes to close, snoring soon after.