The New Kid

Chapter 15 - I felt just like you

Estaire beckoned me to come over and sit next to her. I cautiously walked towards a desk that she was sat on, and she looked at me as if to say 'Are you going to sit or what?' I lifted myself up and sat on the desk opposite her. She watched smiling, and once she saw I had settled she said

"So, Liz, what's wrong? Why are you ACTUALLY in here?" I looked down at my feet and fiddled with the laces on my shoes - I don't want to say. But she looks like she doesn't mean any harm. If anything she looks like she wants to help. It's just...

"Liz?" she said again. I looked into her eyes sadly, and she sighed. "Do you wanna know why I want know?" I gave her a small nod. I did; this sort of kindness is not one I've experienced before. Does she just want to HELP? Do she CARE? Or is she just nosy?

"Alright then, Liz. Well, I'm 17 now. I'm leaving school soon, unless I want to go into 6th form. I was your age two years ago, and I felt lost and alone a lot of the time. It made me depressed. I just don't want anyone to go through what I went through, or go through alone at least. I used to be the happiest person in my year - smiling and laughing at every opportunity. If anything, I had a problem with being serious. But then I found my first love. And with that, I had my first heartbreak. He was everything I wanted, or so I thought, until he cheated on me. And the only problem was - I'd spent so much time with this boy, I'd grown apart from my friends. From my family. Admittedly, I don't think it was entirely my fault, but I did cause a lot of it because I just wouldn't do anything with them. I wouldn't sit with them at lunch, or go out with them, or even really talk to them. So then, when the day came, I found out my boyfriend had been seeing someone else, and that left me crushed. However, I wanted to work something out with him. Because I loved him, and I realised at the time that I had no-one left. But he didn't want to. He said that he'd found someone 'better' than me, that I just wasn't enough. It left me not only heart-broken, but so unconfident you have no idea. With friends and family, I probably could have got through it without hurting myself. But I'd seperated myself from them, and if they would have helped, they wouldn't have any way of knowing because I kept it to myslf. Bottled up, hidden, so I ended up just rolling round in the same misery, and all that did was create more. From that I got well, unwanted, scars. I thought about suicide. I thought about a lot of negative stuff. Until, my old best friend came up to me one day and said 'Let me help you.' That changed me. I found out that SOMEONE cared about me. And she did, she helped..."

"Are you still friends?"

"Yes. Very close. She will always have a place in my heart, and me in hers I hope. The only reason I'm in here is because I don't like PE. But, the point is, I don't like anyone feeling alone. Or upset. You came here alone. You look upset. Will you let me help? I've got more than enough experience, trust me."

I had no words. This girl had been through so much and now... now she wanted to help me. I felt very similar. Lost and alone. Estaire could help me. I needed help. Thank you, whoever is watching me - you've sent me a gift. A miracle. I took a deep breath and said

"Well, I think I feel the same. I feel lost and alone. This boy - I love him. But I act different around him. And now I act different entirely. He's drop dead gorgeous, and I never though I'd be with someone like him. He's taken me out to an amazing restaurant, told me lots about his past, a lot of it you wouldn't tell someone you've just met. We're in love - and that's the trouble. I just want to spend all my time with him. I've cried more than ever about things to do with him. I didn't tell my mum about sneaking out to see him - and she took my phone off me and shouted at me - I think she hates me. I thought it was a good idea to not tell my best friend about him, and she found out by seeing me and him kiss - it made her freak out. I sorted it - after lots of tears, but then I was acting really nasty to the rest of my close friends. I was shouting at them, hiding stuff from them, swearing... stuff I would never normally do. Like I said, I act different. And then, I was watching my one of my other best friends chat with him, and they hugged. It looked like a hug he and I had shared when we found that we were in love. I just freaked out. I felt sick, my heart felt like it had been stabbed, and my cheeks just had permanent tears rolling down them. I've never felt like it before, and to be honest I never want to again. It was horrible. It's just NOT ME. I don't understand how he's had this effect..."

I was crying again at the thought of all these things. How sorry I was. I hated crying. It wasn't what I did and it wasn't the way I liked to deal with things because I didn't believe that it helped. Estaire looked directly into my eyes. I tried to cover up the fact that it hurt by running a finger through my hair, straightening my blazer, coughing to get rid of the broken sound in my voice. I was wiping my face with my sleeve when Estaire grabbed my hand

"Stop it. Stop it. Stop it, stop it, stop it. Please. You're hiding the pain. Don't do that, especially in front of me. The tears are natural. And even though it may seem like a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength. If you can cry in front of me, a person you've only just met, then you have the bravery to overcome everything. Sharing your emotion and thoughts is the sign of a leader and a loyal one. Now, do you feel a bit better?" I nodded; I felt like a giant weight had just floated off my shoulders.

"Good. I think that trapping everything to yourself is one of the worst things you can do in this situation. Now, there are three steps to recovery. 1; share your thoughts. Every negative thought you have, share it. As you've found, it helps. 2; think of what went wrong and how to make it right. You've gotta think of both sides. What you did and what you need to fix, and what they did and what they need to fix. 3; Do it. Tell them, do something, whatever. They've got to know why, though. Say you're sorry. It's the best thing, and even if it's not easy, you've got to do it. If they make a big scene and say 'I told you so' or mock you, then they aren't worth your time. It takes guts to apologise, and if they are your true friend then they'll know that. Okay?"

"Yes. Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet; let's use this hour to get to know each other a bit first. Then we'll see how to fix your problems. The first bandage has been applied - Doctor Est will make you feel as good as new soon!"

I've just decided Estaire is bae. Do not question. She just is. :P I'm planning to update every other day, so let's see how well it goes! Tell me what you liked and didn't like about this chapter below please, because we've just had a giant open-up from two major characters and I want to see if it worked. Please? Thank you xx Oh! And please let me know if you prefer longer or shorter chapter, because I try to do 1000 worded ones at least if it works with the characters. I just need to know. Thanks!

Love you little pineapples

Meep x