Your Scent || Jikook

21. Maintain A Life - Final

Jimin observed clearly, the disappointment in the other man's eyes when his gaze was no longer on him, but dropped to the floor, expression distorted with sadness, or mental pain.

To think that moment was it, where everything between them ended and no place left for him to urge or complain, just something about that moment ripped Jimin's heart and felt as if it was going to drop to his guts.

It hurt. It hurt in so many ways. Like hell started in flames inside his chest, burning his arteries. But there he stood, looking helpless, ignoring his body that was ready to drop to the floor.

Jimin hated this. He hated that his fear was overcoming him. No matter how much he wanted to deny it, it was hard to accept that him and Jungkook were becoming nothing, nothing but normal friends.

Maybe hardly that as well.

He breathed out a gentle sigh and replied, "I wanted to feel like i always have you, Jungkook."

"You did, but things changed. I feel worse everyday.. and i don't want you to waste your time on me, darling."

⠀

Present

A blow of the cold wind greeted him as he opened the windows. Goosebumps raised on his bare arms as he breathed in and out deeply with his eyes closed, ignoring the single tear that dropped from his left eye.

His face was almost pale, lips slightly open. The silence in his dim room continued. He could hear his own breathing as he stood before the window without moving.

Since that day till this one, Jimin didn't show his face to Jungkook, neither texted him. But he lost the counts of times he tried to but stopped himself. Opening their chat was more like a torture, since he gave himself no choice but to not text. He just hated to feel like he was bothering Jungkook. After all, he needed to understand his situations.

Jimin almost never believed how two weeks can feel much more. But they really did. It felt like he waited for months to see if his friend would text him first.

No use.

It was probably a a mistake from the beginning, to form a sexual relationship with a special friend. Or in their case, someone thats heart tied to someone else and you know it's almost impossible to have a chance with, even if you only chased pleasure.

Jimin didn't know about Jungkook though, but he sure couldn't regret it at all. He loved every moment, every kiss and every touch. At the end of the day, both of them were aware their relationship grew dangerous. But could they stop their desires?

Could they really, when everytime, just everytime they lost themselves in eachother to the point no other thing existed around them. Like they were the only thing left in the world. To the heat clouding them, the sound of their skins and fleshes contacting, the gradual moments of their hands down eachother's skins, up and down, eachother's sensitive spots they teased, the hot desperate breathes leaving their lungs, the haze in their eyes for eachother and other things Jimin just couldn't help but feel fireflies to the thought of them.

Whatever the hell they had felt crazy for Jimin.

Could he call it addiction?

No idea, but it was definitely deeper than the love he feared; with looking at himself now after two weeks, the addiction he felt, the obsession, it seemed to be stronger than any love he ever experienced.

Jimin never imagined it coming. In fact, he never knew such feeling exist; when you're not necessarily in love, but still would give up on anything to be with them. You care for them more than a friend and less than a lover. They're not yours, yet, your home, your comfort and your safe place, your heaven and back, and you barely see them as just a close friend either.