Experiment 25 - a Generic Object Battle fanfic

🌵1🌵 Kidnapinator

   Cactus was working on some evil plans as per usual. But THIS time, she felt like she'd really done it. She'd finally finished preparations for the most EVIL THING IMAGINABLE...

   ...A SCHEME TO KIDNAP ALL OF HER FELLOW COMPETITORS AND PUT THEM IN AN EVIL LAB TO DO INHUMANE EXPERIMENTS ON THEM!!!

   It was GENIUS. It was EVIL. And after much work, it was finally READY! She had a full evil lab with equipment ready to go. Cactus had been studying many science books (especially ones by mad scientists) so that her mind would be even more prepared for smart science experiments. Not that she wasn't already smart, but competing in a dumb show can make you a bit rusty.

   Speaking of the show, ugh... that damned thing! Cactus doubted she could get away with kidnapping an entire show. And if she were only to capture a few, TV would certainly notice! If she captured TV, EVERYONE would certainly notice! Plus, that guy seemed capable of strange things... like what he did to Cactus's meltinator! Cactus did not feel like messing with that.

   Cactus sighed as she walked around, pondering how to fix her situation. She had time; everyone was waiting for the elimination between Lime, Cologne, and Curtain to happen. She was pretty excited for that, as that means one less nuisance to deal with on the show. However, she wished evil lab experiments could be a higher priority...

   Still, it would be nice to have less idiots on the show. Cactus looked to the already eliminated contestants, who were now free to wander after a failed escape attempt. THEY were all nuisances for SURE. A literal spork, a lazy mattress who does nothing, an annoying "party animal", a whiny brat, a sarcastic stone, an older whiny brat... Nobody would miss those fools!

   ...Wait a minute...

   EUREKA! THAT'S IT! Cactus smiled villainously. The eliminated contestants are free to roam around, so nobody would bat an eye if they were missing. People probably wouldn't even care to look for them, since everyone hates them. And Cactus could continue competing in the show like normal, likely throwing any suspicion off her in case they did realize the eliminated contestants had been kidnapped!

   "Now I just need to make a kidnapinator..." Cactus muttered to herself and excitedly started putting something together.

   After only a few moments, it was complete. Cactus held her newly invented kidnapinator proudly. She then ran over to the eliminated contestants.

   "Why are we all standing here together this is stupid" Stone said.

   "I don't know, this spot was just a nice spot to sit in and I refuse to move just because everyone's here all of a sudden." Air Mattress said, stubbornly sitting in place.

   "Well, I think it's great. Let's party bros!" Coughdrop said, finger gunning at the two.

   "Nobody would want to party with you, you disgusting little rat!" Sign yelled unnecessarily.

   "I-I think I'm just... gonna go..." Folder said, starting to walk away.

   Unfortunately for her, she was stopped by Cactus. "HELLO, MORTALS!"

   "Why do you even call people that, we're literally all mortal." Stone rolled his eyes.

   "SO YOU ADMIT YOU ARE MORTALS!" Cactus smiled. "I, HOWEVER, SHALL BECOME YOUR GOD!" She pointed the kidnapinator at the group.

   Folder yelped, and Cactus pulled the trigger. The kidnapinator then shot confetti at the group of eliminated contestants.

   "Awesome, bro! Thanks for the confetti!" Coughdrop said sincerely, and began collecting confetti off the ground.

   "Are you serious?" Stone asked Coughdrop, seeming legitimately disturbed by his lack of awareness. Coughdrop responded by tossing confetti onto Stone and smiling at him.

   "What was that?!" Sign turned to Cactus. "Did you just try to kill us?! You ugly roach! How could you?! WAAAAH!!"

   "UGH! How did my kidnapinator fail?!" Cactus threw her invention on the ground, frustrated.

   "......your what...?" Folder suddenly regained interest in leaving the area.

   Cactus realized she had accidentally revealed her plan thanks to the brilliantly and yet unfortunately accurate name of her creation. "Uh... SMOKE BOMB!"

   She tossed down a smoke bomb, stunning all the eliminated contestants. Cactus only had a few moments to think of a plan... she looked at what she had on her. Come on Cactus, you're resourceful! What can you use here?!

   ...Frying pan!

   Cactus proceeded to hit everyone on the head, knocking them unconscious. Including Spork.

   Hurrying so that nobody realizes there's a kidnapping going on, she began dragging them all to her secret evil lab.