Loose Threads

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You decided not to message Oscar over the date. There is no resolution from a convo with him where you don't feel humiliated. Somethings are better left the way they are.

And somethings aren't. You could just keep a peace of your boss in your closet. It didn't fit in with the rest of your garments, anyway. You lifted the jacket closer up to your vision. Expensive. Way more than you'd ever be able to afford. A part of you almost wants to sell.

But, another part of you doesn't. It wants to hold it closer to you, to smell him off of the fabric. You want to keep it, to remember the stupidly sweet time you shared. A moment where you finally felt.. equal.

Corny.

You put the jacket on again. It stills smells like rain. It still smells like him. Being equal to someone felt too safe. Getting too comfortable only wounds you in the end. You look into your mirror, and wonder what it feels like to be so big.

To be so loved. He never has to worry about dates or plans. People show up when he shows up. He was a business man, it was his job to be likable. It's your job to take orders from people like him.

You feel like shit. You go to take the jacket off before you hear a small rip near your arms. You tore a part of the sleeve in half because of fucking course you did. You toss the jacket off your shoulders.

You're no designer, but you'd rather make a few stitches than be in debt for a replacement. You sew a dark red thread into it, doing your best to hide it in the seams. The thread shows through on a few strings, but it's nothing too noticeable. You pack the jacket in your work bag, and try to not feel too nauseous over it.

You dropped the jacket off in his office. You've only stepped foot in here a few times, it was definitely the most clean looking room in the restaurant. On his desk were way too many stacks of papers, a bobble head of himself, and last Friday's coffee. You decide it best for you to toss that out for him.

On the opposite end of his desk, there was a bottle of.. what is that? You sat in his swirly seat, and spun towards it. It was. Oh. Oh shit? It's your (cologne/perfume). Well, not YOURS, but it was the same brand, same scent, same size too. It was such a weird coincidence, especially since he didn't smell like at it all.

It's a coincidence. It's gotta be. You leave his office, rearranging anything you might of touched back into it's place. You put on your work apron, and do your best not zone out on the job.

A few customers in, Jack greets you for the day. He arrives fairly late for being the manager, but it's not like it really matters. As long as he pays you, as a worker, it's none of your concern.

Soda, burger, fries, sauce, everyday the same. The same routine, the same noisy people, the same the same the same. During your work hours, you usually just go on auto-pilot, your mind never truly present. It's best you loose track of time on days like these, staring at the clock will just slow you down.

Hours pass, your hands are getting clammy. Just another day. Don't think, the more you think, the more you think about that fucking icecream man in his office. You are a robot, a capitalistic robot who does their job and doesn't let emotions get in the way.

"Large Jumbo Jack Combo, please."

"Can I get the Spicy Nacho Chicken?"

"Large Chicken Nuggets Combo."

"Hey, Y/N, I'm heading out."

"2 Diet Cokes, please."

Wait, what was that second to last one? Your turn to the door where you already see your coworker exit. It's just you to close up again. Your eyes slowly start to come back into focus, and you start regaining the life in your body.

"Uh, hello?"

"Oh, fu-Uh yeah, my bad. 2 Diet Cokes, right?"

"Yeah, thanks."

The same smell as the other day. Pure cannabis. Seems like that teen found a friend. Good, it's nice to not spend the night alone. You hand the kids their drinks and start your clean up routine. You ease-drop on their conversation in the meantime.

"Would you rather... have lust or romance?

"Dumbass question. Romance."

"Really? I mean, it's so sappy. You put so much on the line, and for what? With sex atleast you're not lying to each other. Over and done, a fair trade."

"Oh come on, it's super easy to lie during sex. 'Oh, I love you!', 'Oh, you're beautiful!', 'Oh, your moaning is hot, totally not annoying'!"

In response, the other teenager started to fake moan in their seat, making their friend slap them. After, a few more childish conversations, both of them head out the door. Sex or love.. Sex or..

"Feeling tired, Y/N?" Jack walked behind you. He must of been about ready to head out.

"Mm..." You only hum, mopping up the last few corners.

"I really should have a talk with our team. It's not fair for you to always be the last one closing."

"You're always here too," You go to turn to him, but loose your balance on the slippery floors instead. You trip with his arm catching you. So up close, your face is buried into him. Your eyes glance over to his sleeve. Red string. He switched jackets.

Sex or love. Sex or love.

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