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chapter 46: fawn's change

chapter 46: fawn's change

~fawn~

       Snow has started to fall in Port Orthos, creating a thick blanket of snow on the ground. It's up to the point where not too many people choose to drive anyway considering the road hasn't been cleared yet.

       The town never seems to be a priority for clear roads since the traffic is never heavy here. At least the sidewalks have been salted and shovelled so they're not too icy for anyone wanting to walk around.

       It's not currently snowing right now, so I take the opportunity to shovel my driveway and the front porch, wanting to make it easy for Marius to walk if he ever goes outside. The last thing I want is for him to be more injured than he already is.

       As I shovel the snow, I hear the front door of my house open. I turn around, seeing Marius walk outside. "What are you doing?" I ask.

       "I just want to get some fresh air," Marius says.

       "You should be resting."

       Marius sighs. "It's just a burn, Fawn. As long as it's covered, it's fine."

       I go back to shovelling. "It's not just a burn..."

       I hear Marius walk over, his footsteps crunching in the snow. He gently rests his hand on mine to stop me from shovelling. "Fawn. I know you blame yourself over it, but you shouldn't. It's not your fault."

       Even if he tells me it's not my fault, I still can't help but feel like it partially is. Quentin is my ex, after all. The only reason why he went after Marius is because he wants me back. If I just did something, anything, to get Quentin to leave me alone forever. Then Marius wouldn't have gotten hurt.

       Marius gently takes the shovel from me and sets it aside before pulling me over to one of the benches. He sits me down on it, holding both of my hands. "Talk to me, Fawn," he says. "Why do you think it's your fault?"

       I look down and I can feel tears stinging my eyes. "B-Because if I just... If I somehow got Quentin to leave me alone... If I just did anything."

       "Fawn, I don't think there was anything you could have done," Marius says. "He's insane at this point. Talking to him wouldn't have worked, no matter how many times you tried talking to him."

       No matter how many times Marius points that out, I still can't help but think that way. And it's all because of Quentin. He has done so much damage to me that whenever he does something, I feel like it's my fault. I thought I didn't think that way anymore. I thought my therapist was able to help me get through it, but I guess not.

       I just hope they'll be able to catch Quentin soon and properly charge him, then maybe I'll be able to finally move on from all of this. I won't have to worry about him hurting me or Marius, or even him just simply walking through Port Orthos. I won't have to see him.

       At the very least, Marius isn't blaming me for what happened. I may be blaming myself, but Marius isn't. I can try my best not to feel too guilty around him until my next therapy session where I can talk to her about it.

       Because Marius was able to figure out that I do feel a bit guilty and tried to convince me that I shouldn't be, I couldn't help but carefully hug him. I'm not hugging the side that's burnt, but I feel compelled to touch him gently just in case I accidentally touch his burns.

       "I'm glad you're okay," I say softly. "I don't know what I would do without you."

       Marius hugs me back, resting his chin on top of my head and softly rubbing my back. "And soon enough, everything else is going to be okay. We won't have to worry about him any longer."