traitor || sonadow angst

xii

TW: SH

Sonic forced his eyes open when he didn't feel the bed under him anymore. His gaze was met with white fur, and upon the realization, he nuzzled into it.

"Sonic?" He felt the vibrations of Shadow's low voice.

"Yeah..."

"He's gone. He can't hurt you anymore."

"Did you... kill him?"

Shadow didn't respond, but by the way Shadow's breathing changed, Sonic knew. He felt as if he should feel remorse or pity, but he was too tired and in too much pain to feel much of anything.

-----

I was only gone for twenty minutes when Sonic texted me. I could already tell something was off when his Spotify listening party came to an abrupt halt.

I shot the bastard that hurt him, but who's to say there aren't more that want him? Who's to say he's safe?

I set him down on the bed and layed beside him, kissing his forehead.

I almost feel like it would have been safer to bring him with me, but I respected his wishes. I felt like it was my fault. He would never let me take accountability, but if I hadn't left him alone, he would have been fine. I could have asked Rouge to get the groceries for us. I could have avoided this.

I needed to clear my mind. We didn't have any alcohol and I wasn't leaving Sonic alone to buy some, so I wandered to the bathroom. I rummaged through all the drawers in the vanity, looking for something, anything that would grant me relief.

My eyes locked on a bloodied knife. The blood probably belonged to Sonic. My mind was racing at a million miles per hour, and my only coherent thought was the knife. The knife would grant me relief. The knife would help me.

I shook my head. This was stupid. I wouldn't be so pathetic as to carve into myself for comfort. Though it was the only thought I had, the only solution I could think of.

I glanced at the knife again. I held it loosely in my hand, trying to reason with myself. I slumped against the floor, my eyes locked on my thigh.

I lightly traced the knife along my left thigh, pressing harder with each moment. I felt so pathetic. I was failing Sonic, Maria... even myself. I deserved this. I deserved the pain, the deep stinging, and any consequenses that came after.

A knock was heard on the door behind me. I scrambled to put the knife away and pull my pant leg down, then opened the door.

"Shadow? What were you doing?" He muttered, scanning my body with his eyes.

"Just washing up."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." My leg started to feel cold. I glanced at Sonic, who looked horrified.

"Shads..." He whispered. "You're bleeding."

Blood was seeping through my pants, and I looked just as mortified as Sonic.

"Can you show me y-your leg?"

"Why? I'll just take care of it, I probably just sliced myself on something."

"No, Shadow. Show me your leg." He sounded stern and assertive - something I had never seen from him. I walked over to the bed with my head down, ashamed.

He rolled my pant leg up, his face twisting to sorrow.

"Oh, Shadow..." He choked out a sob. "Why... Why would you do this?"

"It didn't even hurt." I muttered.

"It doesn't matter if it hurt or not! You cut yourself! You can't undo that. And holy shit, you cut deep. Those scars won't go away."

Blood was still gushing from the wounds. Sonic ripped a part of his shirt and wrapped it around the affected area, applying pressure to stop the bleeding.

"I deserved it. It's fine."

"You what?" He shrieked. "You didn't deserve that. Why would you even think that?"

"I let him get near you. I left you alone. I could have done so much to keep him away from you, but I was careless."

"No, that wasn't your fault. Please, don't even believe that for a second." He sobbed. "You didn't have to bleed. You don't deserve to bleed."

"You say that like you haven't thought the exact same things." I deadpanned. "You can't pretend you don't have permanent scars on your wrists because of me." He stayed silent. He knew I was right.

"I thought it was my fault. I thought something was wrong with me. And then when you left, I couldn't stand the thought of living without you. I need you." More tears rolled down his cheeks. "You killed him. You saved me. You've saved me more times than I can count. You deserve the world, and that world doesn't include your pain. Please, Shadow. Please don't do that again."

I sighed. I felt pathetic with him finding out the moment I did it. He hid it so well for so long, and he knew as soon as I started.

"How did you know what I was doing?" The question was so sudden that he seemed surprised by it.

"There was no water running, and there was shuffling right outside the door. I've done it for so long, I just know."

"Sonic..." I gripped his hand. "I'm sorry, for everything."

Ok yes it did take me two weeks to publish this but also ive been writing a 20+ page Kellic fanfic for school and ive just suddenly regained motivation for this book so

love yall <33