traitor || sonadow angst

xxii

TW: Mentions of SH

Shadow helped Sonic to the couch, although he himself could barely stand. Not only from the gashes on his legs, but the nerves from what Sonic could have possibly had to say. Ideas swam through his mind, but there were two things that scared him the most.

I know you still harm yourself.

I think we need to break up.

"Shadow..." Sonic started. "Can you show me your legs?"

Shadow froze. How had he figured it out?

Sonic's warm hand slid onto his bandaged thigh, making him flinch. Sonic's eyes sadenned.

"Please, baby. I just want to see." He whispered. "I'm not going to be angry or dissapointed."

Shadow sighed and slowly rolled up his pant-legs. A small gasp escaped his lover's lips upon the sight of his bloodied bandages.

"Can I unwrap them?" Shadow gave a curt nod.

Sonic knew how painful the process of simply peeling the gauze from the open wounds could be, expecially given how deep they were, so he took extra care. He revealed the damage and was visibly shocked. He knew they would be deep, but he hadn't expected the extent that they were. It was like if he had cut any deeper, they would reveal his bones.

"Shadow..." He quickly turned his face away to avoid Sonic's sorrowful gaze. "No, please look at me."

Shadow obeyed, barely able to stand Sonic's pitiful eyes.

"Why did you do it? Why did you start again?" His eyes widened.

"Again?" He murmured. "Rouge told you?"

"She had to." Sonic whispered.

"You don't have to worry about me. I just got you back, let me worry about you for a bit."

The two sat in silence, seemingly in thought.

"It's not your fault." Sonic muttered.

"Neither is it yours."

"No, Shadow, listen to me. It is not your fault."

"Then why did I allow you to be taken over and over again? Why didn't I try harder to stop it?" He yelled, his voice cracking and tears pricking the corners of his eyes.

Sonic was taken aback by his outburst. Before this whole ordeal, Shadow had never been vulnerable with him, never allowed himself to open up, but now... Shadow had cried several times. Sonic felt horrible, and he had no idea how to help him. He didn't know what to say that could possibly make things better.

He reached out to Shadow and wrapped his arms around him, holding him tight. Shadow hesitated as his tears started to fall, then buried his face in his lover's shoulder.

"It's okay, baby, it's okay." Sonic whispered, his voice wavering. "Everything's okay now. I'm never leaving you again."

Shadow only sobbed harder, gripping Sonic's quills. The pain in his wails sent tears to Sonic's eyes as well, and soon, they were both a crying mess.

Hours passed and they had both long since passed out. Shadow nuzzled into Sonic's warmth, warding off any nightmares.

Sonic jolted awake in the dead of night, drenched in a cold sweat.

"Sonic?" Shadow muttered.

"W-what?" He whimpered.

Shadow sat up upon hearing the fear in his lover's voice.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?"

Sonic sighed shakily, blinking his tears away.

"Yeah, just... nightmare."

"Was it about him?" He scowled.

"Yeah." He whispered.

Shadow sighed and pulled Sonic back down to the couch, holding him tighter than before.

"You're safe. You'll never have to worry about him again." He cooed. "I love you so much, and I'll never let anyone hurt you again."

"I love you too, Shadow."

----------

Sonic woke up early that morning, shifting carefully out of Shadow's arms. He quietly approached Shadow's leather jacket and reached his hand into the right pocket. He pulled out keys and a lighter.

Was Shadow burning himself too?

He moved onto the right, protruding pocket, and pulled out a pack of razorblades and a box of cigarettes. Sonic sighed. He snuck to the front step, quietly closing the door behind him. He took the lighter and lit a cigarette from the box.

"That's not good for you." Shadow muttered, swiping the cigarette from Sonic's hand. He sat down beside him and smoked it for himself.

"I didn't know you smoked." Shadow nodded.

"That was the point."

Sonic sat as warm tears silently flooded his eyes.

"I just wish you would tell me these things." His voice cracked as the tears ran down his face. "I wish you would let me help you."

"I don't need help, faker. I'll be okay."

"But what if you get so bad that I... I lose you?"

Shadow sighed and turned to face his lover, moving his fag out of the way and resting his palm on Sonic's cheek.

"You won't lose me, my love. I can handle it."

Sonic sniffed, trying to hold back the onflow of tears, but failed. He crumbled into Shadow's arms, sobbing into his fur. The ebony hedgehog petted his quills in an attempt to calm him, kissing the top of his head.

"I-I'm sorry. I just love you so much, I c-can't stand the thought of..." He whimpered.

"I know. I love you too, baby." He cooed. "You don't have to think like that. It's never going to happen."

Sonic didn't know whether or not to believe him, but considering the time and the warmth radiating from Shadow's body, he was too tired to argue.

He drifted off into the world of dreams on Shadow's chest.

Not another late post!!! I haven't even opened wattpad, but im off for 2 months so maybe expect posting? last summer i literally didn't post anything.

i love how my sonadow fic comments consist of harmless trauma dumping, mental illness, and full-fledged murder plans for some characters