I Want You

♡

me, Lily and Carmen have a little more time and we arrive at the mall, when my phone rings so I look to see who it is

it was lewis, who is apparently scared of George and Charles

after I finished shopping I went home, all the boys were in the living room on the sofas, eating pizza and watching a movie. I went with the girls to them and each sat next to her boyfriend, I sat on Lewis's lap

naturally the rest were staring at us, but it was to be expected

in the end, the movie ended and I went to my room to look through some documents that the people from the Ferrari academy gave me

until someone knocked on the door

"come in" I said standing at the desk "oh hi Charles what are you doing?" I said as I looked at who was coming in the door

"I came to see what you're doing" said Charles coming to me 

"I was looking through some documents, Ferrari stuff, I don't think you know what I'm talking about" I said sarcastically

"so, you and Lewis?” said Charles

"yes, for a while"

"how long?" HE asked

"Well, we've been together since last night officially, but we've been like that for a month, I think," I told him

"I understand and what are you going to do with Paul?" Charles asked me

"what are you talking about?" I said surprised

"Do you know, Paul Aron, what will happen between you two if you are together with Lewis?" Said Charles

I didn't have time to perceive the fact that Charles knows about me and Paul, because when I looked at the door, Lewis was standing in the doorway, he heard everything and then he slammed the door and left

Paul and I we were together for almost a year, since then we have been very close, but I don't know what Charles is talking about

"we'll talk about it later" I said to Charles and ran after Lewis

we reached the front of the house on a bench, where Lewis was sitting with his hands on his head

"Lewis please" I said sitting next to him

"Paul Aron huh? what a game"  he said smiling

"there is nothing between me and him" I told him

"nothing? huh? Charles can contradict you," he said angry

"well, there is nothing between me and him anymore" I told him

"Yes? why?" he asked

"because I love you Hamilton" I told him

"and then what will happen to poor Paul? huh?" he said 

"why are you like that?" I asked him

"because I love you Kaya but I think you don't, because today you come and kiss me and tomorrow you sit on Charles' lap or even worse you make out with Lando or Paul" he said

"what do you think i am lewis? a whore?" I ask

"I don't know Kaya, maybe yes," said Lewis

there was silence between us, I looked at him trying to find his gaze, but he wasn't looking at me, it seemed that he was trying to forget that I was next to him

"do you really think that about me?" I said with a trembling voice

"Lewis Hamilton look into my eyes" I said disappointed

"I can't Kaya, sorry" he said looking at the ground

"ok Lewis, sorry for wasting your time.." I said and went back to the house crying

"Kaya?" said George looking at me ran away

I entered my room and locked the door, I sat down with my back to the door and started crying loudly

"Kaya, it's me, please open the door" I heard George knocking on the door

"Kaya, what happened?" I heard Pierre

I couldn't breathe because of the crying and the tears that were falling down my face

after I heard George very angry "you're the cause, are you? why do you have to make fun of everything you catch?"

I can't figure out what was heard, but I think George slapped Lewis or maybe Lewis on George

then somehow I stopped my tears and immediately went out of the room, and then I saw George beating Lewis

"Geroge stop!" I shouted trying to push him aside

"Alex, Pierre help me!" I shouted

in the end we managed to push George aside, Lewis had a face full of blood

"just leave him alone, he's not worth wasting your time with," I said disappointed

I took Lewis into the bathroom to help him get rid of the blood on his face, I didn't want to do that, but Pierre insisted

"Kaya.." Lewis tried to say

"don't even try" they said

"you hurt me Hamilton.." i said almost crying "you told me that those girls were wrong.."

"Kaya please," Lewis said

"maybe you're right, maybe I don't deserve to be where I've ended up, maybe I'm even acting like a whore" I said "but you are not in a position to tell me this" I said and pressed quite hard on the wound

"OUCH!” Lewis shouted

"done" I said after I finished helping him

"Kaya, can you stay with me a little longer?" asked Lewis, holding my hand

"no Hamilton, not this time..." I said and left

all night I thought about it.. I thought that maybe those girls and Lewis are right about me, always when it comes to me I only hear "George Russell's sister" it's very hard, it's hard to always think someone's shadow, all monday has high expectations from you, but I can't anymore, I feel like I'm giving in

I have lost too much to bear anymore, I lost my teenage years, I lost Anthoine, Jules, I can not do this anymore

I give up

~♡~

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