Him, her and me (MMF)

Part 27

I let Finn into my home and show him to the sofa, trying to be the good host by offering drinks and snacks. But he declines them all. Normaly I would sit next to him and be my normal self, but after finding out what he said to Ryder at the hospital. It's makingwith  me question everything. Yes I owe him my life for getting me out the burning bar, but now I'm seeing him in a diffrent light and not sure what to do about it. Instead I purch on my foot stool that's the other side of the coffie table.

''So you can see that I'm ok and got what I need. Is there anything else?''

''Ruby what's going on? Last time I sore you was at the hospital and offered to bring you home. Everything seemed fine between us, but now you're being very off with me. I just want to help you''

Shit he had a point. I'm not someone to jump to conclusions, I like to hear the faces from both sides before making up my own mind. If what Ryder said is true, it could just be he said things out of hurt. I'v known Finn has been intrested for a while but I always pushed him off, due to his good boy vibes.

''Sorry but I don't like people just turning up to my home. Plus I got other things on my mind, with Ryder and work''

''I take it things with Ryder are up in the air at the moment?''

As soon as I mentcherned Ryders name Finn's body laungae stiffened. He moved forward so he was sitting on the edge of the sofa, with his elbows resting on his knees. If it wernt for the conversation were having, I would find him very hot. With the way his tight navy tshirt looked like it would burst at the seams, with how riped his bisepts are. Or how his thighs filled out his cargo trousers. But it had always been his eyes that called to me. They are such a light blue that they seemed gray in certen lighting.

''No things are really good between us, it's just I sore for myself how bad his burns are today. He just got out the shower when I turned up and watched his brother treaing treating them. God there so bad Finn, and to think that he only got them because he was trying to save me.''

''Ruby they will get better, they may look bad but trust me I have see worse and once healed you would'nt tell unless you were up close. You have nothing to feel guilty about. He went in of his own back, you didn't make him.''

''I know I just don't like him being hurt''

''It's cause you're a good person with a kind heart. But you said he just got out the shower?''

''Yer his roommate has been helping him to make sure no shampoo or shower gel get into the burns. Poor guys got a shock coming out in just a towl to see me in there room.''

''There is something I need to tell you about Ryder......he's been keeping a big secret from you and it's not right. He's not who you think he is, and if you're going to date him then you need to know the facts before hand.''

Finn uses both hands to rub his face in what I can only assume is frustration. I have a feeling I know what he's going to tell me, as both Magnus and Ryder could see this coming. What I can't understand is why? Finn is like the golden boy in our town, always helping out where he can. Never one to spread gossip or say a single mean thing about anyone. Unless he's somehow got it in his head that he's trying to help me. But could the guys be right and he's hoping by telling me ill drop Ryder and go running into his arms or something.

''What are you trying to say Finn?''

''Err there is no easy way for me to say this.....Ryder....isnt a man..''

''Just spit it out, you're not making any sence''

''Jesus Ruby...he's transgender! He was born a woman, and from what I can make out he's still got more surgerys to go.''

Looks like they were right about him spilling to me, but from the look on his face it's eating him up to tell me. Ryder was gonvinced that Finn would be gloating over it. So unless he's a brilliant actor, he looks like he's genraly upset about it. I couldn't take this anymore, so I stood up and took the seat next to him on the sofa. Reaching out to hold both his large hands in mine and stroking my thumb over his knuckles. That got his attenchen as he was now looking into my eyes, and I could see the sorrow in his.

''Finn I already know, he told me his story and what he's going through. He's told me eveything including the conversation you both had in the hospital. What I want to know is why you did that? How long have we known each other? and in all those years I have never see you as anything but the kind and caring guy that you are. When Ryder told me what had gone on with you two I was shocked to say the least, as that is not like you.''

''Rub..''

''No you listen to me. I don't know what is going on in you're head, but it needs to stop and now. This is not you and I don't like it. If me being with Ryder means you're going to be an asshole to him, then you walk right out that door now and we have nothing to do with each other again. It's bad enough he's having to hide his true self from his brothers as it is at the moment. I will not let it happen when he comes to town.''

''hun I'm sorry, I just don't want to see you getting hurt. I care to much about you to sit back and watch you get hurt like that. I would do anything to help you avoid it, you should know that by now. I just want you to be happy.''

''Yes but it's not your job to chose what makes me happy or not. Your not my big brother that needs to kick ass of every guy I take a liking to.''

''Is that how you see me? as a brother and nothing more?''

''Finn I see you as a good friend who has helped me out a time or to at the bar, when the guys wouldnt take no for an answer. But nothing more.''

''Why? It's no secret that I have feelings for you, bloody half the town probably know. But what is so wrong with me that you would look at an out of town guy...who's not fully a guy for that...joins the bike club, Over me?''

''Finn there is nothing wrong with you, and any woman would be lucky to have you...''

''Then why wont you have me?''

This is so hard, I can tell that what ever I say will break his heart. Yes I knew he was intrested but never though it was serious. This is just making me want to run to my bed and curl up under the covers and wish this day away.

''Your too safe for me. I'm sorry to say that but it's how I see it. I'm attracted to bad boys and always have been. You are an amazing man and sexy as fuck, but that's not enought for me. You would treat your woman like a queen but I don't want that.''

''You only had to say and I'd do what ever you needed baby, I'd...''

''But that's my point, you would try and change yourself for me and it would never make us happy. I'd feel bad cause I know you were going agenst your true self to please me. Eventuly you would start to resent me, knowing you were doing everything you could to make me happy but you wern't happy in yourself. Can't you see that Finn? It would rip us appart and in the end all we would of accomplished it wasted time and a lot of unhappiness.''

Thankfully Finn was no longer looking at me as I don't know if I could stand to see the hurt I had caused in his eyes. The poor man was devistated and his body showed it. But it was true every word I said. Yes things might be great for the first few months when everything was new and exciting, but after time we both would'nt be truly happy together. He's the time to show his love through grand jesters and romantic nights in, cuddling and making slow sweet love all night long. Where I loved the quick hard fucks in rendom places, dirty talk and nights out drinking winding up my man. Maybe the odd chilled out night at home but not much.

Finn stood up and started making his way out but I couldn't leave things as they were so I went after him, catching him just before the front door.

''Finn please, I don't want us to leave bad blood between us''

''There isn't anything more to say, I need to go.''

''I don't like see you like this, I miss you hansom smile''

''Ruby stop. Your just making it worse. I'v loved you for year hoping that one day you might see me that same. For you to tell me that nothing I could ever do would make that happen. There isn't anything else to say. It's not like ill be seeing you at the bar. Good bye''

And with that he was out the door and down the path to his truck before I could do anything. God what a mess this all is.