Moon nights - a summer romance in Seoul

Chapter 39: Ayla

And here I am
Standing back in the same spot
With the same words stuck in my throat
Tears burning my eyes
With all the words that
I was never able to say

__________________________________

The following week went by like a summer breeze. We visited multiple sights in Istanbul such as the Dolmabahce Palace with its bluffing golden interior up to Minya Türkiye, which displayed every more or less famous sight you could see in Türkiye.

"Look, that's the saat rules in Izmir", I pointed at Jonghyun as we stood in front of the mini display of Izmir. "What does it mean? Saat Kulesi", he tried to repeat what I had just said with the same pronunciation but lisped the last part. For the past two weeks, he had started learning Turkish from an app, and except for struggling with rolling the r, he was improving quickly. It was hard for me not to pronounce the r when speaking Korean. There was room for improvement when it came to my pronunciation.

"Direct translation? Watchtower. Because of the clockwork watch on top of it", I shrugged.
"And what's that? The white surface?" he pointed at the white travertine located east of the Aegean, called Pamukkale.
"That's Pamukkale. Means cotton castle. Because everything is clouded so white, the travertine terrace is made due to the mineral water from the hot springs beneath. When the mineral reaches the surface, calcium carbonate is deposited, which has bleaching qualities. That's why the terraces are so white. Behind the terraces is Hierapolis, an ancient Roman city founded in BC. There are still ruins you can see when you walk around it, like the theatre in good condition, but they haven't taken care of it well; it's mostly in ruins."

Jonghyun listened attentively to me and nodded along. "You know a lot about history, minimal historical facts. Did you realise that?"
"I do?" I repeated his question and shook my head. "I hadn't realised that... my grandfather would tell us many historical facts wherever we went when we were younger. He is like a walking Wikipedia. A thing or two might have rubbed off."
"If I'd ask you historical questions over the past two months about the war, would you be able to answer them?"
"Most of them I could, I think."

In return, he smiled assuringly. "You couldn't? Don't you learn those facts back in school?" I frowned at him, and he just shrugged lightly. "The basics definitely, but the numbers or small details never really stick in my mind."
I faked a gasp and placed a hand over my mouth. "How could you?"

If there was one thing that Jonghyun and I had in common that we were very good at, it was shutting our emotions away to avoid confrontations. We hadn't discussed what to do once the show ended in 5 days. And Jonghyun was leaving for Milan today for the next three days. The other day, we sat by the riverside as we used to next at Hangang, telling each other childhood memories to get to know each other more. We had spent almost every day of the last three months together and were an official couple now, but there was still so much that we didn't know about each other. When we were watching the nightlife on the river, sitting in silence, he called out my name:

"Ayla?"
"Hm?"
"Give me time till after Milan, and I'll figure it out."

I looked at him and just... nodded. I knew he referred to his future career as well as how we would both continue with long distancing, whether it be with him back home in Seoul or another European city. I had concluded with that, but compared to days before, I wanted to try it out. For him. For us. The percentage of couples successfully long distancing was low, but we didn't need to be doomed from the beginning on. Something inside me assured me that we could make it. I trusted him and had no doubts. Perhaps it was naïve, and you'd call me too young and inexperienced, but my heart fully trusted him and my brain.

Plus, breaking everything off now would hurt more than giving it a chance and realising we weren't made to last. And I selfishly didn't want to let go of him yet.

We were on our way to the airport, sitting in the backseat of a Taxi. He had assured me he'd be fine leaving alone, but I wanted to accompany him until he had to go. My anxiety was more prominent today, but his nervousness was more pronounced. On top of being on his own without his agent in Italy, this was a critical job that would determine the future of his career. No pressure at all. He was shaking his leg and playing with the ring on his right middle finger. I reached my hand out and took his hand in mine. His fingers interlaced with mine instantly, acting upon muscle memory as he, still dazed out of the window, retired in his mind.

"I hate saying goodbye to you, love", he mumbled when we stood in the airport hall.

"Then don't? You're coming back, after all. You're coming back to me", I whispered as he cupped my cheek, caressing it. I couldn't help and nuzzle my cheek more into his hand, savouring every second of it, the warmth spreading around my body.

"I'm coming back to you, love", he agreed and planted a soft kiss on my forehead, followed by a sweet kiss. My eyes fluttered close as I kissed him back, my hand gripping the hem of his shirt. It was only when he pulled away that I let go. His eyes were searching for something in mine.

Deep brown on hazel.

"Stop looking at me with those eyes, Hyun", I mumbled as his hand travelled down my back. "What eyes, love?" he replied and caressed my lower back. "Eyes asking me to drop everything and come with you."
"That obvious? When they say that the eyes are the key to the soul, mine also have a secret entrance to my thoughts, it seems."
"Go, you have a plane to catch", I sighed and caressed his cheek again.

I had to admit that I would turn around in non-comfortability when I'd see a couple who couldn't say goodbye to each other in public. Now I had turned into one of them as well, and I couldn't help it.

Jonghyun placed his tattooed hand on mine and took it into his hand, kissing my inner hand before lowering it. My chest tightened more, and I didn't want to look away from his eyes, ever. The AC of the airport must be broken, it was way too hot inside the airport, and I couldn't correctly breathe-

"I'll go now. I'll call you once I'm in the hotel", he promised and stole one more peck before letting my hand go to grip the handle of his hand luggage instead.

My attempt to take deep breaths failed as I nodded, the words stuck in my throat to say anything else.

Have a safe flight. I love you, Jonghyun.

I couldn't mutter any other word as he gave me one more look before waving and then turning around, walking towards the security check. I waved back and then stood in the middle of the airport for who knows how long. Who even cares? I had felt the plug on a heartstring when the vision of Jonghyun disappeared in the crowds.

This was going to be the future that would wait ahead for us, with longer intervals in between the acts.