Revelations of the Heart

Feelings Uncovered

Raphael, 20 years old
New York, New York 2018
After the night Leo came back I knew I had to do whatever I needed to to fix the biggest mess I had ever made in my life. I just knew based on both of our conversations that night that I was the one she was in love with. I also knew that she hated the fact that she loved me. My actions and attitude had made her regret having feelings for me, and I had to change that somehow. I started doing anything to get close to her whenever I could. Unfortunately, she always seemed to be busy. She had started her last year of high school, she still had her job at the restaurant, and on top of all that Leo had begun training her as a kunoichi. He took up every spare moment it felt like. It irritated me, and jealousy simmered under my skin constantly, but I pushed it down. I knew it was irrational, and I couldn't let it get in the way of what I wanted. I started at first with small things, like bringing her a bottle of water and a clean towel for her sessions with Leo, and making sure she knew it was me. Then I escalated to grabbing the seat beside her at meals or on movie night. She seemed annoyed at first, rolling her eyes or scoffing when I talked to her. But I couldn't stop. I had to get back on her good side, and eventually she allowed it. She still wouldn't hold a conversation with me, but she smiled a little and acknowledged me when I talked to her. Casey and April were busy with their jobs a lot, so Aella and Shadow spent most of their time in the lair with us. Aella would drop Shadow off on her way to school, Mikey would babysit between training, then Aella would come in from school, or work on the weekends, and she would train with Leo one on one while we went on patrol after dinner. I always hated leaving her practically alone with Leo. A part of me screamed that he would be so much better for her than me. She was comfortable with him, letting him touch her, and she looked so good in the leggings and tank tops she wore to train. Maybe I was a little afraid that Leo would realize that and make a move on her, even though he knew how I felt. He was even great with Shadow, though I shouldn't have been surprised. She liked Mikey the best, and I was a close second, but Leo was calm all the time, and he was good at getting her to sleep when no one else could. Sometimes the girls spent the night, and Aella and Leo would do Shadow's bedtime routine together, and they seemed so much like a couple I couldn't stand it. I would go take it out on the dummies in the dojo until I calmed, half hoping Aella would slip in and watch me like she had before. She stopped after I told her I knew she did it, and now I wished I had just let it be. At least then I'd have a few minutes of her to myself. I just had to keep showing her I meant to make things right. I knew from her brief fights with Mikey that she wouldn't just take an apology. She needed to be shown. Which brought us to tonight. April and Casey were off work early, and they were gonna make the most of it, so they requested that we watch Shads so they could go on a date and have some alone time in the loft. Of course Mikey agreed because he loved Shadow but also because he knew if Shadow was here Leo would go easy on Aella which meant she could fool around with Mikey.
He was ecstatic cause, as selfish as my thinking was, he had also lost a lot of time with his best friend lately. I was gonna just let him have his time, and I made it pretty well until after dinner. Mikey made brownies, and Aella offered to do the dishes. Mikey was watching Shadow, Leo was meditating, and Donnie was occupied in his lab, so I saw an opportunity. I walked into the kitchen, thinking I would finally be able to just talk to her, but that thought left as soon as I saw her. She was running water in the sink and licking the spatula Mikey used for the brownies. She let out a moan that made it hard to think straight, and I bumped into the table, drawing her attention to me. Her eyes got wide and she dropped the spatula into the sink. 'What? Leo has me on a diet. You guys might not get fat with your freaky metabolisms but humans do.' She turned away to start washing dishes, and I shook my head to clear it. She was still distracting, in one of Casey's old band tees, which made her shorts look almost nonexistant, and all the work Leo had been putting into her training was paying off in more ways than one. I had found her beautiful at 15 when she loved junk food and tv every night, and I still thought she was gorgeous at 18, with a little toned muscle. I had to focus. 'Aella, I need to talk to you.' She turned her head to the side, hands still in the soapy water, and said, 'So talk.' I grabbed the kitchen towel and stood beside her. 'Here. Dry your hands and sit down. I want your full attention. Please.' She looked surprised to hear me say please, but did as I asked. She perched on the counter and looked at me expectantly. 'What is it, Raph? You sound weird.' I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. I didn't have a plan before coming in here, so I guess I was winging it. 'I wanted to apologize. I'm sorry, for how I've been treating you. I didn't mean any of it. The bad stuff, that is. And I won't do it again.' I paused, waiting for her reaction, and she said, 'Is that all? Because if that's all I'd like to finish the dishes.' She started to slide off the counter, but I stopped her, pushing her back in place with a hand and stepping close. 'No, no, that's not it. I just don't know how to say what I want to. Believe me, Aella, I beat myself up every day for how I've handled everything. I-'. Mikey walked in, holding Shadow right then. He stopped short when he saw what was happening. Shadow babbled happily and clapped her hands. Aella smiled, and my stomach turned. I was so close. 'Hey, guys.' Mikey said, slowly. 'I just came to get Shads a drink. What's going on?' He set Shadow down and she tugged his shorts while he poured juice. Aella shoved on my chest, and I stepped back so she could jump down. 'Nothing, Mikey. I'm just gonna finish these dishes and I'll be right out, ok?' She turned back to the sink and I shot Mikey a look. His eyes got big and he gave me a thumbs up and a wink, grabbing Shadow and leaving the room. I rolled my eyes. 'Aella, I wasn't done.' She didn't turn around. 'Well, you weren't actually saying anything either, so I think you were. Go punch a dummy Raphael. I accept your apology, but I really don't want to hear anything else.' My chest got tight. I was so close to finally telling her how I felt. Mikey and his crappy timing. 'Aella please, I-'. My voice caught in my throat and she turned to look at me. 'What, Raphael? You what? Spit it out.' Her eyes shone like she was gonna cry, which was the last thing I wanted. 'Shit, Aella. I'm in love with you, ok?'