it's you i like! (jonatello)

what seemed like the end

A/N: ok finally we are out of the boring chapter!! i promise this one will be much better 💅✨️

donnie awoke once more, this time in his bedroom instead of the living room. the events of last night all came back to him slowly as he walked to his lab, to continue working on the mutagen antidote. and.. also to remove all the broken glass. pinning the dustpan to the ground with his foot, he carefully swept up and disposed of the glass without making too much noise, as he knew he always woke up the earliest.

he started work on the retromutagen, carefully observing each chemical solution as it traveled between beaker and machine.
"liquid nitrogen monoxide.. sure, we'll test that." he muttered to himself, studying the bright orange mixture. he selected a small vial with some clear water-like liquid inside and poured a few drops into the beaker. as soon as the two substances made contact, all of it turned purplish-black and overflowed up out of the container. donnie gave a heaving sigh of disappointment. it seemed as though he might never acheive an antidote. he tried again, creating the same orange liquid he did last time, but now he just couldn't think straight, something was fogging up his mind.

then it clicked.

april.

he needed to tell her.
he could not go on like this, keeping secrets from everyone he knew.

donnie emerged from his lab and walked to the kitchen, where he knew april usually was this time of day.

"hi, april!" he greeted her sweetly.

"hey donnie, what's up?"

"uhmm.." he hesitated, then sighed.
"i'm just gonna come out and say it. i love you."

"i.. love you too, donnie."

"no, no, i mean.. ugh, i just always think about you and i always want to be near you and it hurts when i'm not... and every time i have to make a desicion, i think, what would april want me to do?" he sighed again and shook his head. he looked back up at april, who bore an expression that was a hybrid between anger and shock and disgust. he had expected it, but it still hurt like hell.

"donnie what the fuck!" she exclaimed, recoiling at his confession. donnie winced and slipped the rest of her words under his internal music box that he kept in his brain just in case of things like this, when he didn't want to listen.

she finally stormed away out of the lair after some more yelling and stomping around and listing every reason why he was wrong to like her. in short, her one-sided argument was about the length of four songs.

solemn and defeated, donnie walked back to his lab. he tried telling himself that it was her loss if she didn't like him back, but it didn't work. he sat on his bed and melted into the fluffy purple comforter. if he couldn't comfort himself, sleep would. he drowned out his thoughts and let sleep absorb his mind.

somehow the planned single hour of sleep had become five, and donnie had woken up to a very skeptical- looking casey jones in his face.

"hey, dude." casey growled. "why's april so pissed at you?"

"because i told her i liked her and she didn't like me back," he said monotonely. "so it is by all definitions not my fault she's pissy this morning."

casey glared at him one last time, then turned and stomped out of the lab. donnie watched after him with a slight twinge of amusement. casey's obsession with her was ridiculous. then again, that is how everyone else looked at him when he liked april.

when.

as in, the past tense.

well, of course he could never love her again. after all, what was the use? he knew she hated him anyways. love is just chemicals. worthless brain chemicals.

for the rest of the day, donnie couldn't take his mind off of casey. he kind of liked how protective he was of april. it was infuriating before, but now it was kind of cute. he wished someone would protect him like that. donnie hated the fact that he had nobody. nobody to talk to when he was sad, nobody to wake up next to, nobody to love him...

then it all added up.
the only reason he ever loved april was because he didn't. he loved the idea of her. he knew all this time that she was a terrible person, but he forced himself to ignore it because he wanted somebody. he deserved better. he was better off without her anyways.

"yo, donnie!" mikey busted into his lab as per usual, telling him that the pizza had arrived.

he supposed he might as well eat something, for he hadn't since he confessed to april.

casey and raph both sat at the table tearing into pizza like a wild animal would its prey, leo eating across from them like a normal person. april stood glaring from the kitchen. donnie's heart sank. he wanted nothing to do with her right now. glancing warily at her, he grabbed a slice and sat next to casey, who greeted him with a smile.

donnie's heart lit up with joy. not exactly in the same way april used to make it, but he loved being friends with casey, instead of rivals.

after he was done eating, donnie returned to his lab. he was way too fed up and stressed with the retro-mutagen, so he decided just to read instead. he selected warrior cats (real book very underrated) and curled up in his bed.

"sup, D?" casey said, coming into donnie's room without any sort of persmission.

"nothing much," donnie responded simply without looking up. he heard casey roll over to him on the swiveling stool he kept next to his desk. casey read over donnie's shoulder for a few minutes. donnie knew casey had no interest in reading, but he appreciated it anyway.

"wow. that's a pretty cool book. you should lend me a copy sometime." casey said afterwards.

"consider it done." donnie replied. as he looked up at casey, he couldn't help but notice the pride pin on his leather jacket. it was the bisexual flag.

casey seemed to notice. "yeah, i lean a little more towards the male side. pretty rare for me to like a girl." he said simply. donnie looked up at him in shock.

"but.. don't you like april?" he said confusedly.

"of course not!" casey laughed. "the only reason i flirted with her was to keep her away from you!"

"what?" donnie just became even more shocked and confused.

"it's you i like, D." he said softly.

donnie's whole world flipped upside down. casey was in love with him??? but it couldn't be! but he was really trying to protect him.. isn't that what donnie had wanted?

"oh my god, casey." donnie said finally. "how can i say anything when we're-"

"you don't have to say anything." casey assured him, placing a hand om his shoulder. "just know that."