HSDWM, a fanfiction

Chapter 27

The drive back to Xavier's house was uneventful as promised. He even let me drive, agreeing I needed practice if I was going to trade my permit for an actual license, but he only allowed me behind the wheel for two hours twice each day.

We did talk during the long hours driving in the car but saved the hard conversations for when we stopped at night for proper rest. Well, as proper rest as anyone can get sleeping in a car. During the day we didn't want to risk emotional meltdowns while steering a two ton machine at fifty miles per hour on an old highway.

We stopped in at Seven Hills to visit Raven and Jenna, and give them their luggage. It took us two days of driving to get there, and we were happy to check in at the hotel after two nights sleeping in the cramped car. A shower and a bed that actually accommodated his size sounded like heaven at that point.

On the second morning waking up stiff and sore Xavier grumbled he would be looking into getting himself a larger vehicle, maybe an SUV. I asked if he'd sell me the car we were driving if he got a bigger car. He told me to get my license and he'd think about it.

We thought we'd be able to see Jenna, but she wasn't in the mental or emotional space for visitors. So we spent a couple of hours with just Raven. He came to meet us at the hotel. It was nice seeing the two big bad wolf Alphas discuss things without the snarling and posturing I was used to seeing occur between them.

Xavier apologized to Raven for hurting Raven emotionally, for how he handled the mate bonds, and for being a terrible friend.

Raven accepted the apology and they sealed it with a complicated handshake that ended with a fist bump.

Raven confided to us the Seven Hills therapist had explained to him that finding both secondary and primary bonds within such a short time span, though rare enough most people didn't know of it, it occurred often enough through the centuries it was a well documented and studied phenomenon.

The occurrence was known in medical circles to confuse affected wolves, and females were more susceptible to being affected adversely. All affected wolves will naturally emotionally and mentally gravitate and attach to the stronger potential partner regardless of the individual bonds, leading to a feral spiral if the preferred bond doesn't take, and that could result in a feral crash.

Fortunately it's a treatable condition with a high rate of successful recovery and almost zero relapse. Unfortunately Jenna had to wait for the treatment because the pain meds she was currently on wouldn't mix well with the medicines used to treat feral crash.

The therapist suggested a short term stay at the shifter mental facility might be beneficial due to her case resulting in a crash. It had been shown in prior cases that a week or two of supported separation facilitated full recovery more quickly than remaining in the presence of the mate. Sort of like resetting the factory setting on a device.

Raven was coordinating with his pack's therapists and clinic doctor for Jenna's continued care for when they returned to his territory. He was also switching the two of them to the school system in his own territory.

He was hopeful, and as sorry as I was for him having to go through this on top of all the rest, I was happy there was a silver lining for him to look forward to.

After he told us all this I looked Xavier in the eye, and said, "Xavier, you know Raven is my friend." Xavier gave me a quizzical look, but nodded, so I continued, "I hug my friends," he narrowed his eyes at me, but I persisted, "when I want to show them I support them and care about them. Right now I am going to hug Raven."

A low growl sounded from his chest, but he huffed and stayed still while I got up to give Raven a hug. Raven wrapped me in his arms and stood for a few moments so my feet dangled, then he set me down again.

"Thank you," he said as he let me go, "that did help. By the way, how long has he," Raven gestured toward Xavier, who grabbed my wrist and pulled me to his lap, "been like that?"

"Since Jenna scratched my arm," I pointed to the four claw scratches on my forearm. It was healing, but I would have a scar since I still didn't have my wolf.

He grimaced, "Oh, yeah, she got you good, huh?"

"I don't know that I'm ever going to forgive her," Xavier grumbled. "And I know how it sounds to hear me say that when just last week I believed I was in love with her."

"Aww, Xavier, she's one of your best friends since childhood. I hope you can try to give her a chance after she's had treatment," I said.

"Just three days ago the three of us were laughing over the crazy antics we used to get up to when we were pups," Raven chuckled.

"That was then," Xavier said coolly.

I shook my head at Xavier with a sigh.

Raven stood, saying, "Well, I'd best get back if I want to see her before visiting hours close. Thanks for bringing us our stuff."

"Stay out of trouble," Xavier said as he stood to shake Raven's hand.

"Call when you get back," I said, "We'll get the gang together at the diner or something."

"That sounds like a plan." Raven threw us a mock salute as he left out the door.

Xavier wrapped his arm around my shoulders and rubbed my arm. "Let's go eat."

******

Our first night sleeping in the car Xavier and I spoke of how the mate bond had affected us in the beginning. I gained a better understanding of where his head had been.

FLASHBACK 1

He had been praying to the goddess for years for Jenna to be his mate. So when he learned I was his true mate he'd felt betrayed and abandoned by her.

"In a way, I saw you as 'the other woman', as if it was your intention to come between Jenna and I, and I was angry with you for hurting Jenna in that way. It was wrong of me to take out my frustrations on you. I hurt you, and I did so intentionally to get back at you. It was childish and I was stupid. I promise I'll do better."

It wasn't everything, but it was a start.

Our second night sleeping with the car Xavier and I spoke of how betrayal and rejection of our bond had affected me. He had been deeply pained to learn the extent I had been affected while we were at Markus'.

FLASHBACK 2

"I felt justified betraying our bond, so did Jenna. We knew you both could feel it. We wanted to cause you both pain for being our true mates. We wanted you both to want to break the bonds as much as we did. We began to feel bad about it when neither of you retaliated, and that's when we decided to end your misery by marking each other.

"We were blaming you for something you couldn't control. It was incredibly selfish of us, and I will spend the rest of my days amending for my behavior."

I asked, "If you had known your wolf wouldn't have accepted Jenna unless-"

"I would have broken it off with Jenna immediately if I'd known that," Xavier asserted, "I would never have continued dating her. I would have protected you. I would have insisted she move in with Raven as soon as she learned he was her true mate." He tucked a curl behind my ear and stroked my cheek. "If I had known that my wolf would only accept you, I would have done everything differently. I don't know that it would have changed how I felt, my human side, especially in the beginning, but I would have accepted you as my mate from the moment I realized we were bonded.

"I'm not going to ask for your forgiveness, my actions and behavior were much too vile. I will ask that you give me a chance to be a better person."

I gave him a small smile, saying, "I know you're a better person than what you were showing me. I can give you a chance to prove it."

He kissed my forehead and whispered, "Thank you."

END FLASHBACKS