Tales of an unloved demigod | Nico Di Angelo

I Just Want to Lie in Peace

Nico's POV:

Akhlys the Protogenus of Misery and Poison had once said that I was perfect, that I was already filled with sorrow and pain; there was practically nothing that she could do to me. I guess the gods took that as a challenge. It honestly made me want to laugh and maybe I would have if my throat didn't feel as though it was torn open. Isn't it just like them, the gods, to make demigods as miserable as possible for their own entertainment. Hades once told me that the majority of his children ended up miserable, so I guess it is really no shock. Maybe that's why he took the oath seriously, maybe he cares. Maybe he cares for me, I think he knows I'm gay and I think he told me in his own roundabout way that he's fine with that. I know the Greeks don't discriminate on sexuality, I mean Apollo is bi so what are they gonna do smyte me? I know that Eros and Persephone acted against me not my sexuality, I know I'm rather quite hateable, it's why I've never fitted in, it's why I left.

Why haven't I left? Why am I still on this ship? I'm not one of the seven and no one wants me here. Oh yeah I'm responsible for transporting the statue. It's funny how no one ever wants me around until they need me for something. Isn't it funny how they wanted to just leave me in that jar? I know I couldn't stop laughing or maybe I'm crying, but it doesn't matter because when has it ever.

I got off the ground and got a wet cloth from the restroom to clean up the blood. I looked at myself in the mirror and all I saw was a pale bag of bones, deep eye circles, and blood stained lips, it's no wonder no one likes me. I look "creepy". I finally took that shower I so desperately needed and brushed my teeth, too bad being clean doesn't stop me from looking sickly, but I guess I am sick now.

I stepped outside of my room into the dinning hall and once I was noticed all chatter ceased. I shook my head and grabbed a pomegranate and left, no one wanted me there. Why should I even bother? I wish someone would have greeted me, I wish they would have gestured for me to sit down, or invited me into the conversation, but nobody ever has, and I doubt anyone ever will. It hurt, but I was used to it, all I needed was the shadows and solitude.

I'd be leaving soon anyways. Reyna was on her way over. We had to present the statue to the Romans with her to cease the war between the Romans and Greeks and get them to become allies for the war against Gaia. Wasn't this just the most perfect thing for the ambassador of Pluto to do, I suspect the Fates had something to do with it. The war is on its way so Hanahaki disease is really the least of my problems. I am more likely to die in this war than to a few measly flowers, and if I do die I hope I can lie in peace. Gods I wish I could just rest in peace, but demigod dreams have always haunted me, maybe death truly is the only way I'd be given peace.

"Hey Nico" I get knocked out of my daze, looking up from my pomegranate, I see an awkward Jason Grace. What could he possibly want?

"Jason." I flatly replied waiting for his request.

"How've you been since you know..." He trailed off rubbing his hand behind his neck looking as if he'd rather be anywhere else but here and I wish I were anywhere else too, why did we have to talk about it? Why couldn't he just go back to pretending I wasn't here? Why did he have to pretend to care?

"I'm grand, it was so lovely talking with Eros and admitting my feelings that I never wanted to acknowledge myself. It was especially great that you were there, a random stranger that has done nothing but give me side eyes like I will attack at any moment. Though I guess you aren't a stranger, but you probably don't remember so it doesn't count." My sarcasm must have hit him hard as he took a step back and shook his head. It almost made me feel guilty.

"Why are you always like this?" His voice held so much frustration which I didn't understand as this was one of our first conversations, it's not like he's put in a bunch of effort.

"No, why are you like this? Why do you want to have a sentimental heart to heart with the kid you called creepy? Why do you all of sudden want to talk to me? Because you know my secret because we both know I didn't want you to know. I don't need your pity. We don't need to talk about it. How would you feel if I asked you about Piper? Do you actually love her, I think we both know you don't; you've known her for a few days, and all her memories of you are fake, so why are you dating?" I snapped and I know I shouldn't have but I have always been prone to lashing out and anger. I was so full of anger, I shouldn't have taken it out on Jason though, he looks like a kicked puppy dog, fuck Talia will kill me.

"Sorry" I muttered and he finally looked up from the ground, neither one of us spoke for a while, but the silence wasn't that awkward, at least I don't think it was.

"I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have brought it up. And honestly 'breaking up' if I can even call it that because technically we aren't together right, would cause too much drama, and we're already in a stressful situation, and it's not like I'm against dating her, I just don't know her. It's weird and I don't get it, but I haven't been getting things a lot recently. Gods I wish I just had my memories back, or maybe even the fake ones that Leo and Piper have because they act like they know me so well, but I know nothing about them. Sometimes I want to yell at them that all those memories are fake and that none of it ever happened that they don't know me, Zeus I don't even know me. They all have these expectations of me and it's so frustrating." Jason lets out a heavy sigh and I reach my hand out to pat his shoulder. How are you supposed to comfort people???

"I really needed that, it felt like I was never allowed to talk about it, that I'm just supposed to go along with the charade." Jason gives me a lopsided smile and I feel like the tension that had previously existed between us has disappeared, we both let out a relieved sigh.

"I get it, sometimes you just want someone to talk to, sometimes you don't want to pretend everything is fine. You can talk to me..." I trail off, not knowing what else to say, what else to do. Are we friends? Did I just invite him to be my friend?

"Thanks Nico, it really means a lot, and for what it's worth you can talk to me. I know you didn't want me to know, but I do and I don't judge you for your feelings, no one at camp will, or at least they shouldn't. But I'm here if you ever need to talk about anything, it doesn't just have to be about that." Jason nods along as he speaks as if he has to show that he agrees with what he is saying. He looks me in the eye to make sure I got the message and when I nod he nods again and then leaves.

I don't know if this is friendship, but it feels like it. I smile to myself, I've just made my first friend.