Tales of an unloved demigod | Nico Di Angelo

Surgery

A week has passed since the war. Annabeth led the construction of the new cabins as many had been destroyed, she let me make a few accommodations to the Hades cabin, score. Jason and I have been hanging out, sometimes we do mock fights and help the younger campers with fighting techniques. Will has been busy with healing injured campers, whenever he spots me he makes me volunteer at the hospital, but I think I just make the other patients feel uncomfortable. I get a lot of uneasy glances it makes sense, child of Hades in the hospital feeling who's going to die and all that. Whenever I point that out to Will he tells me that I'm reading too much into it, that no one is looking at me with disgust/unease, he even said that I was the one pushing everyone who has ever tried to be my friend away. It's got me wondering if I have been the problem all along. I've always felt secluded, but maybe that was my own doing. I ran away after Bianca, and I've never let anyone close since then, not even Percy who for the longest was the only one who cared about me. I've been running away from everyone and maybe the isolation made me more depressed and began warping all my human interactions, but at the same time it feels like the camp never accepted me after knowing my godly parent. Was I truly the problem all along, or is Will just unable to see my perspective?

Anyways, I'm getting off track. My surgery is today, after today I will feel nothing for Percy, and that's kind of scary but at the same time comforting? For four years I have been so afraid to tell anyone how I felt, as from the era I came from it was so unacceptable. Will suggested going to PRIDE, but it's past June, so maybe next year; I'll ask Jason to come for support. Gods know Jason and Piper are my biggest allies?

As crazy as it sounds, part of me doesn't want to get the flowers removed. Once the flowers are gone, so are ALL of my emotions for Percy. Percy was my first crush and granted also my first heartbreak, but he means a lot to me. I ate blue birthday cake with him, I convinced my dad to join a war for him, I accepted his distrust to make sure he was safe, I scavenged the world to find him and did not stop until I saw he was safe with the Romans. Percy was the reason I didn't join Luke during the first war, Percy is the reason I continued to help Camp Halfblood after having left, and Percy was the only one to care about me these past four years. I hated Percy, I blamed him for Bianca, I blamed him for my confusion, and I hated him for being my crush and having hurt me unknowingly for years. These last four years back in the real world, away from the Lotus casino, have all been filled with Percy, and in a few hours he will be erased from my world. Should I let him know? Of course he already knows of my crush, but should he know that all of his years of trying to reconcile and make friends with me is about to go down the drain because in a matter of moments he will mean nothing to me? Of course he wouldn't stop the surgery, he knows he doesn't and can't love me and that not loving me back will result in my death, but shouldn't he be prepared? But then again will the guilt of having caused, indirectly of course, my Hanahakis disease eat away at him. He feels guilt so easily and I don't want him to feel guilty over me again. What would I even say?

"Hey Percy, so you know how I said I no longer had a crush on you because you're not my type? Well I lied. I'm actually suffering from a disease called Hanahakis disease, it's caused from unrequited love, and causes flowers to grow in my lungs which causes me to suffocate until I die, fun right? But no worries because in about an hour Will is going to surgically remove the flowers and thus all the emotions I have ever felt towards you. So no need to worry about the crush I'm about to feel nothing for you. Sorry for making it seem like we could finally work through those years of resentment and finally be able to form a proper friendship. Looks like we'll have to start at square one again." That would be awful.

"What?" FUCK, I turn around to see a confused Percy, because of course it is him, the fates are probably laughing.

"Hey dude, what's up?" Gods I've been spending too much time with Jason.

"What's up? Nico what the fuck was that about? You're dying, and it's my fault?" Percy didn't even scream, he looked defeated, and I began wondering if he feels like everything is his fault too.

"No, well yeah I'm dying we all are though. Will is gonna remove the flowers and I'll be as good as new. And it's not your fault, people can't force emotions, if I could I wouldn't be in love with you." Shit, why did that sound wrong?

"You're in love with me? I thought it was just some silly childhood crush. Nico what's going on?" Percy's eyes were bulging out of their sockets. Why'd he have to call my feelings silly, that hurt, yeah maybe I'm younger and he'll always view me as a child, but when he was my age he would have hung the moon for Annabeth, so what's the difference?

"I mean who wouldn't love you Percy? It doesn't matter though, soon my feelings for you will be gone and we can just start over, or we can move on with our lives without ever interacting again, your call." He looked sad? Why was Percy sad, what did I say wrong?

"Nico, over course we'll remain friends. You should have told me though. Let's hang out after your surgery, yeah?" When did Percy start looking like a puppy dog, that's Jason's thing?

"Yeah. Let me know when you need to shift your stuff to New Rome. I'll shadow travel it over." Percy shakes his head.

"I mean a proper hang out, not moving my stuff." He laughs, and I nod. We walk our separate ways and part of me wonders if we will ever walk on the same path again, maybe we aren't meant to be friends no matter how hard we try.

I find Will in the hospital talking to one of his brothers. I wait to the side for their conversation to end but he must have an ability to tell whenever I walk into a room because his head immediately turns to me and offers a friendly smile. I smile back and he tilts his head in a way to get me to come over, so I do.

"I gotta go Chad. Come on Nico." We walked into the surgery room. It doesn't take him long to remove the flowers. Maybe it's because he is the son of the god of healing, or maybe I should be worried about trusting my life to a teenage doctor.

"Now you've got to stay in my field of vision, doctor's orders." Little did I know that would be his new catch phrase.

It was about lunch time so I was about to head to the canteen and eat with Jason and Percy like I normally do when Will took my arm and led me to his table and I complied under "doctor's orders". The nerd even gave a doctor's note to Chiron. Jason began wiggling his eyebrows at me, but I was just horribly confused, was his face spasming?