Waiting On A Miracle | Post Malone

4

"So... y'all saw her?" Rich's voice  broke through the dark of the kitchen before Austin saw him. He made his way to the refrigerator, grabbing out a bottle of water and sitting at the table beside him.

"We did." Austin breathed out heavily, the events of the night replaying on his mind on a continuous loop.

"How'd that go?" Rich asked and it took all of Austin's self control not to snap back at him.

"How do you think it went?" He tried to keep his tone neutral even if it felt anything but.

"You know she's been here for the past three weeks?" Rich asked as he leant back in his chair, taking a swig of water. Austin's brow furrowed in confusion, she had told him tonight she had been here about a week. Again she was trying to fucking protect his feelings.

"She visited him at least once every day, sat with him if he was sleeping, read to him when he was stressed and asking for mom. She was with him when he went."

"I get it dad." He took a deep breath, hoping it might help centre him and allow him to regain control of his emotions.

"She has every right to be here boy."

He let out a heavy sigh as he listened to Rich speak. Rich wasn't trying to make him feel guiltier than he already did, but fuck it hadn't made him feel better. "I know she does."

"She's family too..."

"I fucking know!" His voice was almost a shout as he stood up from the table, kicking the old wooden chair backwards in the process. It had been a long fucking day and he couldn't hold back his feelings anymore tonight. "I never fucking said she shouldn't be here, I never told her not to come, but fuck me you can't expect that it didn't fucking kill me to see her tonight."

"It woulda killed you whenever you saw her." Rich stood from his seat turning to watch Austin as he paced in the kitchen.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" He threw his arms out as he asked the question.

"What do ya want me to say Austin?"

"I don't fucking want you to say anything. I know what I did, I know what I've been, just like you know what I've fucking been through." He shouted back, a soft flick of a light switch coming from upstairs signalling he'd woken Jodie.

He took a second to try and calm down slightly, taking deep breaths before continuing. "I want you to stop telling me what a fucking saint she's been and what a fucking piece of shit I am. I fucking know, I have to live with it for the rest of my fucking life."

Jodie had made her way downstairs, catching the end of his speech. "What's goin on?" She asked Rich as her eyes flicked between the two men filled with concern.

Austin saw this as his chance, he grabbed the keys from the hanger and left through the kitchen door, jumping in Rich's Raptor and taking off down the road.

He didn't know where he was going, he didn't have any where to go or anyone to see. His skin was becoming itchy and it felt like it was crawling while a wave of nausea crashed over him.  He kept driving until he found a safe spot to pull over, throwing the car into park and shutting off the engine. He quickly pulled out his phone and hit his last dialled number, praying with each ring to hear her voice as his eyes remained locked on the blue house in front of him.

A sense of relief washed over him and he let out the breath he felt he'd been holding for a month when he finally heard her voice through the phone. "Austin? You okay?"

"Hey Brooke..."

***

He could feel the pain in his body before he had even woken up. This car was spacious but he was a big boy, he was definitely not designed to sleep in the front seat of a car.