luna, my love

chapter IX

AN: if you're reading this: would you be interested in a luna/george fanfiction? luna/neville? if neither, what should i write? please comment below if you have an opinion. thanks!

this chapter is longer than previous ones. i've been on a short-chapter streak, i'm sorry about that.

"You do?" Luna said. "You like Harry?"

"Yes, I do," Ginny replied, blushing.

"Well, why didn't you say so?"

"Didn't I just explain that?"

"Well, I'll seal things off with him." Luna sighed. Maybe being with Rolf would not be as exciting as being with the Chosen One, but they had love.

Harry, Harry Harry Harry... What am I going to say?

"Um, hi Harry," she muttered, testing the words in her mouth. "Harry? I have to talk to you. Maybe... Hello, Harry. Can I have a word?

"I've talked to Rolf and thought it over myself..."

Rolf had said what Harry had. He said that Luna had to make her own decision.

She had made a decision. It was up to her to go and make it be. She walked fast towards the lake, now that she knew Harry stayed their in his free period.

The problem was, he wasn't there.She turned around to find him and his friends entering Hagrid's hut. She sighed, and decided that if she did show at Herbology now she would get into more trouble than if she just skipped it. So, she started walking in the direction of the forest.

There weren't any teachers around. Even Mrs. Norris was patrolling the castle. there were some students, absorbed in homework or conversation, and unaware of Luna.

She slipped into the shadow and silence of the trees.

"Hello?" she called out. She saw a small face peek out from in between the trees, a face she knew.

"Hello," she purred, bending down towards the baby Thestral. It walked closer to Luna. Behind it was it's mother, a grown Thestral, who ruffled her wings.

"Hello, to you, too," she cooed to the mother Thestral.

Seeing Thestrals meant you had seen death. She had seen her mother died. And now, she saw a creature that was both a mother and a symbol of death.

She tried to steady her breathing, but it grew sporadic quickly. Hot tears started falling down her face. The baby Thestral tentatively walked forward and put it's head against Luna's leg. Slowly, she patted it, and the mother came for a bit of attention, too.

She loved the Thestrals. They felt like a part of her. And they were, in a way. Death had become a part of her, something that returned to her every once in a while and made her grieve yet again. It would never fully leave her until it took her over. Death was the Thestrals.

She laid down onto the rough mix of dirt, leaves and sticks. She tried to gaze through the mesh of leaves and tree, and to the blue sky above. She couldn't see it. It was completely blocked by the trees.

The baby Thestral (she decided he was to be Binny) lay against her arm. The grown Thestral (who she coined Shea) seemed to slump onto its legs, as if it were falling asleep standing up.

Before she knew it, among the dirt and tree, she fell asleep with the warmth of the Thestrals by her side.

She woke up to the alarm clock of her stomach. She had missed lunch.

Binny the baby Thestral was alarmed by the noise and scuttled into the shadows. The mother Shea trotted after it.

Luna had an aching headache, and her back was starting to hurt. She forced herself up.

Her blonde hair was marred with twigs and leaves, and her robes were streaked with dirt and dust. She tried to judge the time by the color of the sky. Was it blue or red or...

Her head felt too bad to think. She just finger-combed her hair, brushed off the back of her robes a little, and set out of the forest. She looked up at the sky once she was at the border of the trees. Above her was not sky blue or sunset red-orange, but indigo, dotted with stars.

It was a beautiful night, but the fact that it was night meant that Luna had missed not only lunch, but dinner, and a couple more classes than just Herbology.

She decided to see if she could get something from the kitchens (though the house elf who had spoken to her last time did not seem very hospitable, she thought).

She trudged towards the castle, trying to ward off the growing headache.

By the time she reached the painting of the fruit, her headache had just began to fade. The small of her back, though, had begun to hurt again.She reached to her hair and pulled out a feather. With a practiced hand, she swished it across the pear several times until the pear began to laugh and squirm. It let itself become a doorknob, which Luna turned and pulled on.

There were more house elves in the kitchens now, as it was just after dinner and they were cleaning up. A house elf quickly came sprinting towards her.

"Hello! It's Miss Lovegood, correct?" it asked.

"Yes," Luna smiled.

"Back again for some spare meat?" it continued. "We have a few large chunks, actually–"

"Well, actually, I was wondering if there were any leftovers from dinner. I missed it... and lunch."

"Yes, we could put something together," the house elf nodded. It scurried back to the others and talked to them for a minute.

Luna sighed a breath of relief. She had missed Defense Against the Dark Arts and Potions, which were both – at least for her – the worst classes to miss. Snape would kill her for it, and she wasn't doing well in Potions.

The house elf returned with a plate full with generous servings of mashed potatoes, meat, and peas.

"Thank you very much!" Luna said.

"Of course, Miss Lovegood," the elf replied, and then it returned to its duties.

Luna took a forkful of mashed potatoes and let herself get lost in taste and thought.

Luna awoke the next morning quite tired and fairly hungry. She made herself get up and dressed, promising herself a full belly if she just got up.

She was midway through spreading jam on her toast in the Great Hall when, with a sudden weight being lowered onto her, she remembered that she had to break things off with Harry.

She knew she had to. It would just hurt Ginny if she kept on prancing around and kissing whoever she fancied at the moment. She figured she had to accept that. But the part that worried her most, though it was shameful to be so worried, was being with Rolf.

She could meet other people after Hogwarts, of course, but how? She wasn't a social butterfly. People tended to be put off by her radish earrings. She feared that after Hogwarts, all she would have left was Rolf.

She had known finding a special other would be hard. Now, she was faced with the terror of this being her only one.

"You can't be serious about that, Luna," Ginny whined. "You're overreacting in every possible way. You don't need to worry about that! You haven't even gone into the big, wide world!"

"Well, I've been in it more than you," Luna tried.

"Really? We live only a mile or two apart. We go to the same school, and shop at the same places in Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade. There's not much more you could have done."

"That's not the point!"

"Well, what is it?" Ginny argued. "Look, I'm trying to talk sense into you, is all. Rolf is not a limitation. Rolf is something to try on for size."

"But what if I can't find anyone else?"

"You will, Luna," Ginny sighed. "Trust me, you will."