Sick love

The deal

I find myself waking up next to Ayato. He has his arms wrapped around me, god he's hot. I rest my head on his chest, and put my hands against him. He kisses my head. He's awake. I try to remember something.. sh*t! Childe- is he okay? I excuse myself to the toilet and check up on him, he's still on the couch. Did he even wake up? I sit next to him and stroke his head like Ayaka did to me. He starts to wake up. Then I noticed something, im in my underwear and bra! He can't see me like this. I walk away before he's fully awake but he's holding my wrist. Sh*t, sh*t, sh*t! "Lumine..?" He slowly opens his eyes. I try to cover my stomach but it doesn't really work. Why...? I excuse myself and I leave him flabbergasted. God why.

I come back from the bathroom and notice Childe reading a comic. I sneak back to Ayato's room, I think he noticed but as long as he didn't see me. I walk inside and I bump into Ayato. I look up and he's looking down on me. Was he craving for morning sex? I just let him do what he needed to do, but I was a bit loud.

Ayato and I walk into the kitchen, im wearing Ayato's shirt. I can feel everyone's eyes on us. "Keep it silent next time, it's bothering me." Says Scaramouche. I feel myself turning as red as an tomato and I sit down at the table feeling really embarrassed. Ayato and Ayaka are making breakfast. The fatui are here for a deal, not a frickin vacation. As we all sit down I ask "when are y'all planning to leave?" I can feel Ayato grabbing my tight, god will he ever stop? "When the deal is done and the others are back, I think in about a week?" I try not to spit out my milk. A week? No way. I can't keep on like this, im not going back to Liyue either.

We're done with breakfast and Childe invites me on a walk to talk things out. I agreed, I think it's time.

Childe and I were walking down the path.
"So.. you said you weren't happy about Anesthesia, why's that?"
"Because I don't want her Lumine."
"Why not? You seem happy together."
"She's just a distraction."
Wow. Even though I'm not Anesthesia, I'm pretty pissed off about that.
"Why an distraction?"
"Don't play dumb Lumine, you know damn well why."
I did know, I was curious, we became silence for a while after that.
"You should know, the trembling isn't because of you."
"What?"
"I've been stressed about my work and there was something with my mentality. But over those 2 years I've been healed, and last night I was trembling again of those stress."
"So I tried to kill myself and leave you for nothing?"
He looked at me confused, disbelieved and worried. At first I didn't know why, then I realized what I had said. He pulled me into some cave.
"You did what?"
"I-"
"God.... Why!?"
"I'm sorry."
He pulls me into a hug and tears roll over his cheeks. God, when was the last time we hugged? I hugged him back and he grabbed my chin and looked up into my eyes. Was he about to kiss me? He came closer and I didn't know what I was doing.. I pushed him and I ran away. Tears rolling down, regretting what I just have done.