The Lawyer's Dangerous Lover (Ongoing)

5th

Jade took care of me while I remained passive. Basta ang alam ko after niya ako buhatin out of my shower room, he covered me with my blanket because I was soaking wet. I was just watching him while forcing myself to calm down because it ain't good that he's here. Hindi ko siya mapaalis dahil nanghihina ako, at hindi ko magawang makapagsalita. I saw him walk inside my walk-in closet, and I was left wondering how he knew this place of mine and why he was here. Did he somehow follow me home?

Natigil ang pagiisip ko nang lumabas siya, bitbit ang ilang piraso ng damit ko habang may malinis na towel na nakasampay sa kaniyang balikat. I observed his actions the whole time that I was just lying on my bed, with my hands grasping the blanket he covered me with.

"Are you calm now?" I clearly heard his voice, but that didn't make me speak. My hands knotted on the blanket as I never dared to look up at him and make eye contact. I remained looking down.

Why does it have to be him? To see me in this state? Why did he follow me after all?

Nang hindi ako magsalita ay nagulat ako sa sunod niyang ginawa. I flinched when he held my head to dry my hair. Alam kong naramdaman niya iyon kaya naman agad siyang napalayo. He took a deep breath.

"Can I?" I understand what he was asking. He's asking for permission to continue, but I shook my head, making him stop before making any move. Ibinaba niya ang towel sa gilid at ganoon din ang mga damit na kinuha niya.

"Alright, maybe you can do it. Dress yourself, and dry your hair so you won't catch cold. I'll be back here after you're done, we'll talk." hindi ko siya pinansin at hinayaan siyang lumabas.

Pakiramdam ko nakahinga ako ng maluwag nang sandaling hindi ko na maramdaman ang presensya niya. My throbbing heart returned to normal. Kumuyom ang mga kamay ko at mariing napapikit bago binaon ang mukha sa mga tuhod ko. Did I. . . do that again?

Nakakapagod na.

Hindi maiwasang tumulo ng luha ko. This was the ugliest thing I have ever experienced in my whole life. The triggering past that I have always wanted to run away from. Gustong gusto ko nang makalimot, makaahon at mamuhay tulad ng pinapangarap ko. I am looking for peace. I want to heal. Pero hindi ko alam kung paano magsisimula.

Akala ko, ang maging parte ng Red Society ang maaaring maging sagot. Harapin ang karahasan, makipaglaban, pumatay, maghiganti. Pero bakit? Bakit pakiramdam ko, I am still living in my past. I am stuck. I remained destroyed and tainted.

Hindi ko alam kung gaano katagal ako roon, hanggang sa pinilit kong makapagpalit ng damit. I also tried to dry my hair nang maya-maya ay marinig ko ang pagbukas at pagsara ng pinto. I didn't look. Kung pwede lang, I wanted to chase him away. Why is he even here? Why is he staying? Bakit ginagawa niya 'to?

We barely know each other. Well, it was me who knew her, pero siya ay kakakilala pa lamang niya sa akin.

"You okay? I made a soup. Sorry, pinakialaman ko ang kitchen mo." I heard his calm and serious voice. Narinig ko rin na nilapag niya sa coffee table ang dala niya as he walked towards the side of the bed, kung saan ako nakaupo at nakaharap. Huminto siya sa gilid ko.