What if

Velvet bones

I still feel it, down to my velvet bones,
The surging rage, the gripping fear,
It's penetrated deep within, cancerous it seems,
It's hollowed me, I'm parasitic in my own body,
How long could I feed on my own soul?
Leave me empty, I'm just a bleeding cavity. 
I love you just as happiness loves pain,
Just as justice loves to sit and watch things go wrong,
Just like a burnt child attracted to the fire,
Always playing with the matchsticks, 
Always writing you such memoirs,
I'll send them out to you when words no longer make sense,
I have a feeling you'll throw them in the fire, always burning right inside you,
Or you'll clench the paper tightly, tear it to shreds,
Do you feel it too?
It's what I feel every time I look in the mirror, this fear,
I see you standing right behind me,
Meaningless words, empty threats, 
Do you see it too?
My love for you, it's bright red.