Sparks Fly

Chapter 8

Even Haymitch is caught by surprise at my request, spewing a mouthful of foul-smelling liquid across the coffee table, but I don't dare break my eye contact with Peeta, who is still staring at me in stunned silence.

I don't stop him either when, without moving his eyes from mine, Peeta says, "Haymitch, leave."

Haymitch takes the queue and quickly disappears to his room. Even the Avoxes standing in the corners of the room have made themselves scarce.

My knuckles are white as I grip Peeta's hands tighter. His face is a blank, unreadable slate, and his lack of emotion is starting to make me feel uneasy. I hadn't stopped to think about how he'd react. I had thought that he wanted this, maybe not now, but eventually. This would just be moving up the timeline, and for an understandable reason. I thought he'd be okay with it, maybe even happy. Not this unfeeling, cold stranger that sits before me.

Finally he breaks the silence. "Katniss . . .  I . . .  are you serious?" His voice is unsteady.

"Yes," I breathe, just glad that he's finally saying something.

"Is it . . .  because you want to? Or because you think it's the only thing we have left to do?"

Both, I think. But I bite my lip and say, "Does it really matter?"

This seems to upset him, and he releases my hands. "It does to me!" he exclaims in frustration, rubbing a spot on his temple. He sighs loudly and his voice sounds sad. "It's no secret that this is what I always wanted, but this is not the way I wanted it to happen. I felt like things were finally going well for us, too. Like you might actually be happy with me, outside of this performance that we put on for the Capitol." 

I stand up in indignation. "Peeta, I am happy with you. Or as much as I can be, given our circumstances. I think I might be falling in love with you, even. But this is our only chance that we have left to convince Snow and the districts. It's not just about us anymore — he's brought our families into it now." I take a deep breath. "All I'm asking for right now is a Capitol wedding. I was hoping we could save the toasting for later. I . . .  I'd like to think that we would've made this decision on our own, eventually. Without any pressure from Snow. And I'd still like to have that opportunity. They don't know anything about the toasting here — we get to keep that for ourselves, when it feels right for us."

Back home, a woman rents a white dress that's been worn hundreds of times, while the man dons anything clean that's not mining clothes. After filling out some forms at the Justice Building, they are assigned a house together. Family and friends gather to share a meal or a bit of cake, if they can afford it. We sing a traditional song as the new couple crosses the threshold of their new house and we have our own little ceremony, where they make their first fire, toast a bit of bread, and share it. No one really feels married in District 12 until after the toasting.

Peeta knows this as well as I do, and whips his head around to look at me as the words leave my mouth. He knows the weight of what I've just suggested. A smile plays at his lips. "You . . .  want me?"

I'm not sure why, but this makes me blush. I nod my head.

His face breaks into a grin. "Then of course I'll marry you, Katniss." Peeta covers his mouth, as if in disbelief. Then, before I know what's happening, he has joined me in standing and wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me tight. He lifts me easily, spinning us once in a circle before setting me down gently. I let out a strange giggle, a sound I didn't even know I could make, and I know my face is mirroring his elated expression. He leans in, kissing me deeply, and my fingers snag in the curls of his hair as I kiss him back. He pulls back, resting his forehead on mine and stares into my eyes.