my tears ricochet

Chapter Nineteen

Ivy kicked off her blanket and rolled over, squinting at the light coming through the high windows of the cell block. Rick had gone through the mattresses the day before with a quick hand to search out any objects stashed inside and it was difficult to mentally detach her mind from the reality of sleeping in a glorified cage.

The day she had found the abandoned house in the woods had felt so lucky. Ivy had been run ragged along the creek trying to dodge walkers that had come off of the highway and the sight of the home had been a mercy. It didn't matter how run down it looked, the fact that it had been sitting empty had been a light at the end of a tunnel. She had tucked her legs in tight in order to squeeze inside the closet and get the door shut but it had been the safest she had ever felt.

The cell should have felt equal. It wasn't comfortable but nothing was snapping at her through the bars. Rick and Daryl had traded keeping out a lockout on both Hershel and their new neighbours, wary even though the prisoners had been whittled down to two remaining. She had barely seen the men with the way Daryl walked beside her back into the cell block, keeping her from view and also blocking her from looking back at them.

Rick had come back with blood on his hands and Daryl had seemed oddly content.

Ivy didn't mind that they had killed two of the men. She wished they had taken out the others, clearing the field of any remaining threat. The prison felt like a labyrinth with walkers piled up along the corridors and she didn't like the idea of getting relaxed with a potential threat working away at their defences.

She pulled herself up and swung her legs out, stretching. Her hands still ached despite the lotion Daryl had forced on her last night and her mind felt quiet without the hum driving her into washing her hands ragged.

Her hand gently rattled at the cell door, catching Rick's attention from where he sat hunched on the floor reading a book. Ivy noticed with some humour that it was one of Beth's romance novels. She favoured the books with cowboys and horses compared to Maggie's preference in general historical romance. Rick's cowboy boots matched the ones on the cover and she bit back a grin as he pulled himself up and came over to lock the cell. "Fancy reading material," she said as the door swung open.

Rick scoffed, shoving the book into his back pocket like it didn't exist. "Girls at the station used to leave these things around everywhere. On a nightshift you got pretty used to doing anything to stay awake."

It was strange, having to picture Rick with a life different from here. Whenever someone teased a hint to their own pasts prior to the world ending it seemed like they were describing a different person. Ivy felt like she was the exact same as she ever had been, but maybe worse. Killing her father must have done something to her soul that left some kind of mark.

"Can I go outside?" Ivy asked, twisting around to make sure the others were still asleep. Glenn and Maggie had moved out to one of the empty guard towers to keep watch.

"Not yet. Wait until your dad wakes up and maybe he'll take you."

Rick said it so easily. Ivy liked teasing the word in her own brain in the occasional moment of privacy but had refrained from saying it. It would be nice, she thought, calling their relationship something real. Daryl didn't mind reminding her that she was his kid and he acted like a parent, always bullying her about something and trying to keep her from wandering out of sight, but she didn't know how he would feel.

Daryl had invited her to replace Lane with his own name but that wasn't the same thing as calling her his daughter. And, Ivy thought with bitterness, he probably didn't want a daughter like her.

She could hear movement from up above on the metal walkway where Daryl had slept, curled up on a mattress he had dragged in from one of the cells. The noise was probably pointed, telling them both that he was definitely awake.