my tears ricochet

Chapter Part 101

"The window won't open," Daryl warned her as he unlocked the apartment door. "Not until you've got that shoulder back to full use."

If he had it his way he would nail the damned thing shut permanently. But alternative escape measures were important enough that he tolerated it, opting to temporarily block it with a piece of wood that required some force to wedge into place. Ivy seemed vaguely stable but he wasn't putting any risk in her not jumping straight out if it meant an easy escape. The window would be jammed shut until she at least had the advantage of two arms to work with.

Ivy was frozen at the doorway with a face bright with uneasiness. "Why can't I stay at the clinic?"

"It'll be quieter here," Daryl informed her as he waited her out. It also had the benefit of being harder for Beth and Enid to access. Eventually one or both of the girls would slip through his guard but he wanted to prevent Ivy from getting her hands on a gun for as long as he could manage it. And he didn't believe for a second Beth would tell her no if Ivy asked her. "You can go in."

Loyalty was a gift. But it could be Ivy's undoing if he let it happen.

Someone had been busy keeping the apartment clean. It had been difficult forcing himself over the threshold the first time but some unknown person had slipped through often enough to keep up with the dust accumulation, tidying up the left over dishes from their last meal, shuffling order where neglect festered. "I didn't want to come back here," Ivy warned him. Her tone was hostile but he could see the fear latching claws deep into her heart, the desire to turn and flee. "I told you this."

Daryl had foiled four attempts at running off already and he knew she was trying for a fifth. Shifting her from the clinic back to the apartment meant wiping out whatever plans she had cobbled together for an escape. It was a temporary advantage but he was playing against time, trying to undo bits and pieces of hurt. "I know. But you're here now so let's go."

She managed one small step across the invisible line before cringing. "I want to leave now. I tried but it's not working."

He managed to lightly nudge her further so he could deadlock the door properly. "Yeah? Let's give it a few more days before we make a decision."

Ivy looked haunted as she surveyed their old home. Battle lines were etched into their memories of the space and he busied himself with carrying her bag into her bedroom. It didn't hold much but it was easier to focus on unpacking the excess clothing and putting it away. Otherwise, he thought sourly, she would be keeping it ready to snatch at first chance while making an escape.

They needed boundaries. Daryl had what he needed; his daughter alive and safe, walls preventing her from running back into the danger.

But Ivy was depressed. She wavered between moods of restless desires to throw herself down on a line like a martyr or to simply vanish entirely away. They were playing the same game but on a different scale of damage. She needed security, the chance to come down from her flight reflex. She thought that she still needed to go out with a loaded gun and die for the cause.

He found her back in the kitchen. Ivy was looking at the room like it was some kind of stranger, trying to familiarize herself again. "You good?"

"Totally," she said with visible irritation. "So am I just being held against my will now? Kidnapped, what, four times? Five times?"

Ivy had gone back and forth from moods of tolerance and frustration and he was just waiting for her to figure what fight she wanted to get out of her system. She watched him pull two bottles of pills from his pocket and place them on the countertop. "When you're done trying to run we can talk about new rules."