my tears ricochet

Part 114

Daylight broke out in a soft wave lifting up from the distance. Ivy felt the softness of it, the way the light managed to blind her vision as she hurled herself towards it. Her blood felt like fire. Her breathing was ragged, burning herself up from the inside out as she fought to keep going, feet stumbling but still upright. The hunters were still coming after her and so she moved like a ghost, bleeding from the shot she took through her shoulder.

She was out of bullets. The pain was so much that it was like driving herself straight into a wall, demanding to be felt as she moved her arm, enduring a little longer. It was frightening that there was no true guarantee of dying. When she took that hit in amongst the trees, Ivy had fallen down but managed to pry herself back up, barely avoiding capture.

And now she was barely keeping ahead of those coming after her. It didn't matter how far she pushed herself, they were coming for her. Faceless individuals tasked with finding her, tasked with taking her alive. And they didn't matter. Simon was somewhere and Ivy needed him; she needed to kill him just to die in the end.

It wouldn't be right to die first before she managed that trick.

A small suburb rose up and she moved for it like a lighthouse in the dark, splintering her way through one yard just to duck down behind a small wooden garden shed, trying to regulate her breathing. Ivy's fingers pulled at the material of her shirt that was glued down to her skin by blood. A storm was brewing in the air. The humidity curled up, shocking from the previous chill, weighed down by heavier clouds that begged to break.

"Whatever happened to dying like a champ?" Merle's voice whispered in her ear. "Thought that was the big 'ol plan. Go out like a hero and take one for the team?"

She was insane. Of course she was. Ivy couldn't survive constant near death and the awful losses without finally shattering to some degree. Her fingers prodded to the wound and she hissed at the pain, hoping it would prove clarity. The gunshot was utterly survivable, unfortunately, straight in and out. And Simon had been serious when he ordered clean bullets only. She would outlive the pain. Her body could heal. She would recover in a way she didn't want.

Her heart pounded inside her chest. It was difficult feeling it intact when it felt like it should've been broken into pieces. "I'll die when I'm dead," Ivy whispered back. She blinked and saw Abraham frowning at her from across an overgrown garden. Ivy was playing dangerously close to her old passages she made for herself in the days of playing Negan's wraith. Hiding spots dotted the landscape and her mind ached, trying to reorient herself to finding them. She needed somewhere to go, to find something that would be enough to cut Simon down first so she could go down second.

She squinted and suddenly it wasn't Abraham anymore. A walker was coming through the tangled vines in her direction, clearly drawn by the fresh blood scenting the air, stumbling towards her. Its mouth snapped, hungry.

She was disoriented. It was across the yard and suddenly straight beside her, dropping down onto it's knees to grab her by the shoulders. One gnarled finger pressed her wound as it clutched tight and she screeched in pain, trying to drive her knife up and missing. Teeth clicked at the empty air inched from her throat. "No, no, no, absolutely not," Ivy snapped, twisting them both around to send them tumbling sideways. Movement across the yard saw more walkers coming in, a small pack that would draw attention. "Fuck."

The body was desperate to take her. Her arm trembled, a flimsy bar between it and her. But at last she managed, pushing as hard as she could and slamming the blade home through the skull, a graceless kill that had her struggled to roll free from where it lay before the others could get close. "Gotta run on those legs in they're still working," Merle coaxed her, grating on her nerves as she picked herself up and threw herself poorly over a fence, fighting for more space between her and the undead. Another gunshot fired off and she didn't turn to see which of the walkers hit the ground first. She ducked on reflex, darting behind a dog house and jerking straight for the narrow passage of a house and another fence, racing for the street.