"How did you find me!"
"Well, Martha. Can I call you Martha?"
"You cannot."
"Ok. Well, you see it was very simple. When Peppa pointed out bad things happen when we're together, and there was an unidentified killer, I had to start thinking harder. Then I remembered George was madly in love with me, but I also knew he wasn't smart enough to pull the plan off himself. I was so close to giving up, but then I thought. What if he wasn't doing it alone. I knew it had to be someone he could trust, and it couldn't be daddy pig. His bunda's too big. That brings us to my last conspiracy."
"Oh thank god"
"It had to be you. It was perfect. You had staged your death. When you were buried George came and dug you out. That's exactly when the whole plan came into motion. When Peppa came back from uni."
Mummy pig did a slow clap.
"Well done Suzy. And here I was thinking you were stupid the whole time. But I knew someone had to figure it out, which is why I've been developing a memory loss drug."
"Oh don't worry Martha. I'm not going to tell anyone. I've had the biggest crush on you since I was 12. I'd never turn you in, but all I want from you is to stop hurting Peppa."
"But why do you care so much about peppa?"
"Well I am in love with peppa, but she wants to keep her distance because bad thing always happen when we're together. I love her so much, so just stop hurting her, ok?"
"But, what if I did continue to attack her-"
"No, Martha! Peppas been through enough!"
"Hear me out dear. If I attack her, but worse than before. To the point where she's almost dead. She'll realise that you actually protect her."
"What do you benefit from this?"
"Well you clearly don't love George, and as much as I hate that fat cunt, Peppa...I do want to see one of my children happy."
Mummy pig lied through her teeth. She had a far bigger plan in the working. She knew she'd need back up plans B-Z.
"How long will this plan take?" Suzy said, still trying to wrap her head round the idea.
"Well, it may take a while for her to notice the change. It'll have to be slow. Could take years tbh with you Suzy."
After thinking it Suzy came to a conclusion "Ok! I'll do it!"
"We can discuss the plan later, but the basic rules are:
1. Don't tell anyone about the plan
2. Don't tell anyone I'm alive
3. Report back to me everyday, and don't leave out any detail."
"You got it boss!"
Suzy turned to leave the sketchy garage.
"Oh, yes Suzy. One more thing."
"What?"
"You might want to date someone to make Peppa jealous. Perhaps...George...."
