Love Is . . .

Chapter 10

         I wish I could say that nothing changed, and we found a way to stay just how we were, but unfortunately, my fears were founded. Ben going to school changed us. For a little while, I had hope that maybe we could make this work. On the evening of his first day of school, I was there at his house waiting for him. He looked tired as he got out of his mom's car, but once he saw me sitting on the porch swing, his face lit up with a smile. He jogged over and plopped down on the swing  beside me.

"Hey you. Did you miss me?" He said with a grin. I thought about lying to him and telling him some made-up story of a grand adventure I had, and HE was the one who had missed out. But when I opened my mouth, what came out was, 

"Yes! It was terrible." He throws his head back and gives a brief laugh. At that moment, his mom walks by and pauses to look at us. She just shakes her head and walks inside the house.

"So, how was your day?" I ask.

"It was good, just a little stressful learning my way around and all. At least I didn't have to fight anyone, and the coach seemed excited to have me on the team."

"Well, I'm glad it went well for you," I say half-heartedly. He then goes into detail about the teachers, the students, and the layout of the school. I listen intently, soaking up all I have missed out on being home schooled. And that was how it was between us until fall made our days shorter. By the time he would get home from practice, it was dark, so I would have to stay at home, and we didn't have a phone at the time that I could even call him on.  So, then it was only on the weekends that I saw him, and it was around this time I could tell I was losing him.

         He was constantly busy, and I sometimes felt that taking the time to see me was becoming a burden. He didn't hold my hand anymore, and goodbye was a quick hug. Then the thing I dreaded the most happened. Her name would come up a little here and there, but as time went by, 'Julia' was almost in every sentence. 'Julia is so sweet. She let me borrow her notes from history to study since she is a way better note taker. Have I mentioned that she is a straight A student? AND she is involved in like every club the school has to offer . . .' BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. I was sick of hearing how awesome JULIA was.

       One Saturday, when I was free to go see him, I raced down to his place. It had been two weeks since I last saw him. He had a baseball tournament in another town far off, so the team stayed at a hotel the entire weekend before. Our time apart was more than when we could be together anymore. But on that Saturday, I realized that it was officially over.

            I parked my bike out front by his front porch, but heard voices coming from his backyard, so I walked around the corner of his house. I saw him sitting on the edge of his pool with a girl,  their feet dangling in the water. She was laughing at something he said. Then I watched horrified as he reached up to tuck a piece of her hair behind her ear. His hand lingered on her jaw, and he started to lean toward her. Their kiss was sweet and tender, just how I imagined a million times our kiss would have been. Tears start to blur my vision. I turn to rush away and see his mother in the window. Our eyes meet, and she gives a slow smile like she is amused by my pain. I run as fast as I can to grab my bike and dash home.

         I ran straight to my bedroom and threw myself on the bed, crying my heart out. Big, ugly tears soaking  my pillow as I curl up in a fetal position. How could he do this to me? Saturdays are ours! I was his friend first!  What does he see in her that I don't have? Why did he not ever want to kiss me like that? I sob until my chest aches. I hear a gentle knock on my door.

"Abby? Are you okay?" My mother questions, but I can't even answer her now that I'm practically hyperventilating on my sorrow. "I'm coming in," she states as she opens my door. Once she sees me, she rushes over and sits on the bed beside me, immediately rubbing small circles on my back. "Honey, what in the world . . . are you hurt?"

"Oh, Mom!" I lunge for her, hugging her tight around the middle. I then proceeded to tell her everything.  She held me and listened without interruption until I was done. Leaning back to look her in the eyes, I whisper, "How could he?"

"Sweetheart, I'm so sorry. Your first heartbreak is the hardest, but you know what I believe?" I shake my head no. "That if it is meant to be, it will be. Some kinds of love are unstoppable. Sure, there might be some detours along the way, and get lost even, but if you find yourself together at the end of the road only, then you know it was true love. Do I think this Ben is the one? I honestly have no idea. You're both so young and have your whole life ahead of you. Just try to enjoy the journey. Be grateful for the time you've had, and don't miss what's ahead of you by looking in the rear-view mirror. Keep moving forward and pray for God to lead you to your true love whoever that will be." I exhale a big breath and nod. She kisses me on the top of my head and stands to leave. But as she turns to go, she starts to cough. And cough. To the point she has to reach out and hold my dresser to steady herself as she tries to catch her breath.

"Momma? Are you okay? You're scaring me." I ask as I jump up to help her. She starts to nod her head yes as the color comes back into her face, but when she withdrew her hand from her mouth, it is splattered with bright red blood.