Guiltiness

Misunderstanding

Albus couldn't shake the obsessive thought that Rose was hatching some secret plan to win Scorpius for herself. Now and then, she joined them to be with Scorpius, still showing slight disdain for Albus. They often even had lunch now in a group of three, and it was evident that someone was redundant. Scorpius didn't seem to mind their silent rivalry; perhaps he didn't even register it. The other students, however, were not blind, and their interpretation proved Rose's victory. Of course, why would Scorpius choose him when he could have an attractive, popular girl? What would he do with him now that he had so many friends and hardly resembled the nerdy, shy boy Albus had met on the train to Hogwarts?

Albus was already completely exhausted from idle thoughts, his mind replayed the same fruitless scenarios over and over again, and all the time he could have enjoyed or at least spent meaningfully was wasted in pointless ruminations. At the same time, his friend treated him with incredible kindness, again helping him with his schoolwork and trying to involve him in activities with other students. But Albus mostly refused because he wanted Scorpius all to himself and found the company of others disturbing. Moreover, since his recent experience when he completely unexpectedly lost control over his mind and body, he became somewhat shy in the presence of people. What if it happened to him again and someone saw him... He was starting to feel paranoid about himself. Just like recently...

Scorpius was sitting on the bed next to an open box of chocolates. He looked incredibly sweet with a chocolate mouth...

"Take a chocolate," he offered with a mischievous smile.

Albus didn't let himself be prompted twice and soon gave his blond a milk chocolate kiss.

"They're from Rose," said Scorpius. "I think she likes us."

Albus was startled. "You can't eat anything from Rose!"

"What are you talking about? Like she wants to poison us?"

"No, but she could... she could...." He realised how improbable it sounded.

"She could give me a love potion, for example," Scorpius laughed.

Albus frowned. He didn't find it funny.

He spent the whole afternoon watching his friend if he would see a change in his behaviour. Maybe there was something in those candies. He observed in himself that he loved Scorpius so much that it was killing him.

It was already quite cold outside, so most activities moved inside to the common rooms. Scorpius regularly attended Slytherin events and occasionally those held by other houses. Albus was not interested in accompanying him either to the Ravenclaw numerology competition (Merlin forbid!) or to the Hufflepuff art and creative days (Salazar forbid!). Rose was happy to take on this pleasant duty, and soon the whole of Hogwarts was gossiping about what a handsome couple they were. It seemed to Albus that everyone was making fun of him, that he couldn't be more of an outsider. The proof was also that his younger sister Lily stopped by him occasionally to ask how he was doing. He always pushed her away somehow. He wasn't in the mood to confide in problems that might have been imaginary but were crushing him completely. He wanted to know how Scorpius felt about him, but he feared the answer. He was already tired of suppressing his nervousness. He realised that he was annoying his friend, blaming him for things he had no right to blame him for (like the numerology competition), arguing over little things and thereby actually driving him out of his company.

That morning, he blamed him for his failing a numerology summative test. He has been unfocused lately and making unnecessary mistakes out of inattention.

"You care only about winning competitions, but you don't make time for me!"

"This is not true. I was helping you."

"Yeah, and you're not confusing me with someone? After all, we hardly see each other."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Nothing. Nothing. So that you know, I feel like leaving school. I hate it here."

"You're not serious, Albus, are you?"

"I'm absolutely serious. I can't do it, I don't enjoy it, and I don't have anyone here."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because that's how I feel."

Scorpius glared at him.

"Don't blame me for your bad grades. I can do no more for you."

Scorpius didn't realise why he hadn't been able to calm Albus as he had so many times before and why he had attacked him aggressively instead. He should have helped Albus more with the bloody numerology. The remorse that crept into his conscience was unpleasant, so he preferred to slam the door and leave for classes. He was now attending several selection seminars for gifted wizards and hadn't been meeting Albus there.

Albus was so frustrated after the morning extempore that he couldn't attend the first class. He thought hard and finally decided to talk to his friend about everything. They each had different schedules in the morning, so he had plenty of time to calm down and prepare for a serious conversation. However, he did not meet Scorpius in the dining or common rooms. He couldn't find him all afternoon, and when he finally ran into him in the library, he couldn't believe his eyes. From his point of view, Scorpius was in an overly friendly conversation with Rose. Both of them were laughing at something, and Albus immediately suspiciously anticipated that he himself could be the target of their ridicule. But what he saw afterwards wholly paralysed him. Rose kissed Scorpius right on the mouth, and he let her. It took an awfully long time, and Albus didn't notice any attempt on Slytherin's part to shake the impossible girl off.

Albus wanted to run out of the library as inconspicuously as possible. Still, he failed as he slammed into one of the bookshelves so violently that several heavy wizarding books spilt onto the floor. Scorpius lifted his head and met his friend's eyes for a moment. It was obvious that he didn't know how to behave. Why is he so unlucky? He had never thought Rose would be interested in him, and he was so surprised by her kiss that he didn't have time to react. He was a little interested in what it was like to kiss a girl, but he definitely didn't like it. It was just a science experiment, wasn't it?

But Albus obviously won't take it that way. He ran after him and tried to catch up.

"Albus, wait, let me explain!"

But Albus was running away up the stairs to the seventh floor to the Room of Requirement, where he wanted to hide from the world. Scorpius finally caught up to him and grabbed his hand. "Please, listen to me, please!" But Albus was furious and violently pushed Scorpius away. Unfortunately, Scorpius lost his balance and fell straight down the seventh floor between the moving staircases.