Away With Words

Red

It's been a day, seems Kaveh was sick with something or still throwing a tantrum, Alhaitham was sure he would see him soon.

Two days, he must be ill. He can't be angry for this long. Alhaitham ended up cleaning up Kaveh's dishes from three nights ago alongside throwing away the spoiled coffee at Kaveh's door. Alhaitham wondered if Kaveh just hadn't seen it or if he actually hasn't come out to use the bathroom.

Three days, Alhaitham finds himself falling asleep on the couch after work. He's taking much shorter hours at work now. Feels he's required to help Kaveh once he's ready to be helped.

Four days, Alhaitham got aggravated by the absence of a reply from his roommate. He needs to come out and eat, how else is he to feel better?

Day five, Alhaitham got fed up and forced his way into the bedroom, Kaveh wasn't there.

It's been six days, six whole days where Alhaitham has been sitting at home alone. He is now no longer finding himself in his office but bundled up on his living room's couch. A blanket of Kaveh's wrapped around him. The blanket was warm, but he was still cold. Not physically but internally. His home was lacking, and he hated to admit it but he felt lonely. It feels as it had when his grandmother would leave him alone as a child to buy food from the market. He felt lost, confused, forgotten.

He would tell himself that he was fine, his roommate was just being a baby and that he shouldn't care. He gave him the options to do as he pleased after all. This event shouldn't upset him as it is. Yet he sat here in his home waiting like a small dog would wait for his owner. Only now, he worried if the owner would actually return.

He sat reading the gift he had gotten from Kaveh a bit ago. The book on gods. One of Kaveh's silly interests. Before, he scoffed and laughed at the book but now he felt closer to Kaveh then ever. He had tried to connect to Alhaitham in a way Alhaitham understood. The book was covered in little notes. The seven Erotes seemed to be Kaveh's favorite. Every page had doodles and scribbled down writing. The boy's writing must have been struggling to keep up with his brain. He was always such a quick thinker, Alhaitham often had to remind Kaveh to slow down and breathe.

Gods, cupids. Of course this is what Kaveh enjoyed. Alhaitham found himself shaking his head at every heart, every misspelling, every misused comma. His head stopped shaking when he saw "A l h a i t h a m" written out on one of the pages. He started at the top and scanned the page. Then again. And again, And again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. He stopped and read it one more time slowly.

Hedylogos. A beautiful one winged god of sweet talk. A god who so elegantly matched that of my affection. A man who bore a single wing among his back, a wing not of feathers but of blue fabric. A man with bright blue eyes and soft silver hair. Warm skin and warmer hands, a man not of many words but poetic atlas. If not with his tongue then with his mind. A big beautiful mind that matches his beautiful face. Alhaitham, my Hedylogos. My love and world. ♡

Alhaitham wanted to run to Kaveh and demand the meaning of his little book. His words. But Kaveh wasn't home, so he was stuck with no answers. He was stuck listening to the words. Words that wouldn't leave his head. He couldn't ignore them or push them aside. He had to take them in and actually hear Kaveh for once. Ignorant little Kaveh seems to have finally gotten though.

The book tumbled from Alhaitham's hands and he surged forward out of his seat. The blanket slipped from his body as he made his way from the couch to Kaveh's art station. He tripped on the blanket as it hit the ground, he stumbled into the desk, gipping the wood of the fixture, he nails lightly dug in. He collected himself and started grabbing everything on the desk. Pencils and makers fell. Papers flew, eraser after eraser tumbled with little thuds. Paint and water spilt. He grabbed every single photo of that stupid gray haired guy with feathers. All the ones on the desk were torn, ripped piece by piece. It hurt. It caused physical pain. It was like he was taking his relationship with Kaveh, pulling it thin and cutting it with a knife.

Little flutters of paper lay all around him, he was on his knees and forearms, crying, sobbing into the ground. Hiccups began to erupt from his throat and he cried. He vocally cried. The man who seemed to never wear his emotions on his face let alone sleeve was on the ground crying his eyes out. Pain, everything was in an immobilizing pain, especially his chest. His heart.

The front door was pushed open, having been left unlocked for a day now, due to Alhaitham's hope for Kaveh's reappearance.  A reappearance that Alhaitham hadn't planned to be now. Now, after six days of being gone. Now, as Alhaitham was on the ground crying his eyes out like he was when he has just experienced the loss of his grandmother.

Kaveh stepped in and was completely confounded by the scene before him. His stuff was thrown all about the room. His blanket, the book he had bought for Alhaitham. His pencils, paper and brushes were scattered around the room. It was all quiet besides the sound of crying and hiccups. Kaveh slowly made his way into the house, greeted by the smells of paint and little light.

He walked past the coffee table, towards his corner. There he saw the silver haired male. Oh Alhaitham... He couldn't help but pity the man. But he was angry, and he had to remind himself of what had happened. His artwork was torn to shreds, he didn't know exactly what art was messed up but he had a guess.

Alhaitham was completely clueless of his seniors presence. His head pieces were left in his room on his bedside table. So he hadn't heard the door opening or the footsteps behind him.

Kaveh bent down and began to pick up his belongings. Such a mess... he picked up his pencils followed by his brushes. Minutes passed as he picked up everything, his hands and shoes now stained by the paint on the floor. He sighed, and put everything into a little brown bag. He would leave the paint mess and all the ripped paper for Alhaitham to clean up, it was his mess after all. He left for his room, grabbing clothes from his closet and his essentials from the bathroom. He would be leaving to find a new home.

As Kaveh walked out of the bathroom Alhaitham sat up from his previous position on the floor, tears still slipping down his cheeks. His face wore a soft red color, from his nose to the tips of his ears. His eyes were glossy, their glassy blue was even brighter. He looked almost angelic, Kaveh struggled to look away. He waved  and mouthed goodbye.

Alhaitham scrambled to his feet, fully unsteady, leaning to far forward he tumbled forward, fast. Kaveh tried to make his way to the door but was stopped by Alhaitham grabbing his white top.

"Don't touch me, don't touch me!" Kaveh hissed despite knowing the junior wouldn't hear, and tried to pull away before being pulled into Alhaitham's arms.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry," Alhaitham started hiccuping again. "Sorry... sorry, sorry, sorry..." He clung to Kaveh like the boy would die before his eyes if he was released.

Kaveh stopped fighting and crumbled, his legs gave out and they both ended up on the floor. Kaveh's head in Alhaitham's chest as he started to letting out a throat ripping sob. There were many firsts today, Alhaitham crying, hugging Kaveh, making a mess and apologizing.

"Please don't leave..." Alhaitham held back the sound of cried and hiccups. "this is your home just as much as it is mine. I'm miserable without you... I didn't want to be selfish and tell you what to do with your life." Alhaitham put his hand to Kaveh's cheek and lifted the blonde's face. Their eyes met. "But you, my person of affection, make me selfish."

Kaveh's eyes were wide and frantically searching his junior's face. After a moment he began to laugh. Causing Alhaitham to panic. He lifted his hands and signed, "Stupid stupid, Hedylogos." before leaning closer and placing a small kiss on Alhaitham's lips.

"I love you, let's make a home, Haitham."

"Let's."