Cell Phone || Marco Reus

Chapter 17: Decisions

When his phone that lies on the nightstand buzzes for the second time that night, Marco finally reaches out and takes it. Two messages and one missed call. He doesn't even need to open them to see who has sent them. The first message says: Marco, please, we need to talk. And then after taking a deep breath he opens the second one, which was sent about half an hour after the first one: Okay, I get it; you don't want to talk to me. How I wish I didn't say the things that I said. I'm sorry. For everything.

And that's it. Marco clutches his phone tightly and then after a second of hesitation, he puts it back on the nightstand. He does it abruptly, afraid he's going to change his mind and call her. He can't afford to do that. Because the second he hears her voice he would give in and go back to her, wouldn't care about the consequences.

And as much as he tries not to notice, there's some kind of finality in her second message. It's like she has given up on him-on them. And he can't blame her for that.

I told you from the start that we wouldn't work. But you wouldn't believe me.

He runs a hand through his hair. Yes, perhaps she's right. Perhaps this relationship is a bad idea from the start. It pains him to think that she might be happier with some other guy. A normal guy who won't cause her all these troubles. Someone who will be there for him when she needs him. Someone like Thomas.

I'm sorry. For everything.

Closing his eyes, Marco murmurs, "So am I."

~*~

"Sara-Maria?"

Sara-Maria looks up from her plate. "Yes?"

Both Alissa and their mum are looking at her. "Are you okay? You've been very quiet," her sister asks, sounding uncharacteristically concerned.

Sara-Maria is back in Saarbrücken for the weekend. Bea can't be there since she's working in London at the moment. Alissa is there, so it's just the three of them, because their dad is currently in business trip to Prague. It has been more than a week since she had the argument with Marco, and she hasn't talked to him since. He hasn't tried to call her either.

Maybe she should try harder, but for some reasons she didn't. It's like they have reached a silent agreement that they are better off this way. Although if she's being honest, she hates it. She hates not having Marco close to her; she hates the way they fall apart. There were times where she questioned herself about if this was really the end. And she couldn't come up with an answer. Or more precisely, she was terrified of the answer.

"I'm fine," Sara-Maria says automatically. Her gaze meets her mum's, and before she can stop herself she says, "You must be pleased to hear that Marco and I are pretty much over." Her voice is emotionless as she holds her mum's gaze.

"What?" her mum and Alissa say almost simultaneously.

Sara-Maria tells them about everything that has happened. Her scratches are healed and they are now nearly invisible, except the deepest one on her temple, which is covered by hair. She lifts the hair to show them. It's healed fast, too, and has faded a lot but there's still a faint line which can be seen if you look closely. Both her mum and Alissa think it's terrible, and she doesn't deserve it.

"I told you it was a bad idea to date a footballer," her mum starts. "He only brought you troubles."

"No," Sara-Maria blurts out, firmly shaking her head. "He didn't. It's not his fault that he is who he is, is it? He has been nothing but kind to me, from the beginning. I-" she stops as she feels her tears begin to well up. It hurts to say it out loud, even though deep down inside she already knows it.

"I'm the one who can't accept him for who he is. I'm the one who keeps wishing that he's just an ordinary person." She looks at her mum and blinks. A tear falls on her cheek. "I'm the one who lets your judgement of him affects me, because your approval means a lot to me."

The room is silent as neither her mum nor Alissa says anything. Sara-Maria brushes the streak of tears on her cheeks. Then Alissa speaks, in a tender voice, "You really love him, don't you?"

"More than I've ever loved anyone." As she says it, the realisation of that she may have lost Marco hits her harder than it has been, and she can feel her heart ache. What have I done?

When she looks up, she finds Alissa looking at her. "Then you should have fought for him harder. If you think he's worth it," she says. "And not letting mum or anyone else ruins it for you. Sorry, mum, but look how miserable she is. It's her life; she should be the one who decide how she'll live it."

Her mum doesn't reply right away, but when she looks at Sara-Maria, there's something unfamiliar in her eyes, something that looks like... sympathy. Are her eyes deceiving her? Her mum has never looked at her this way before.

"I still think he's not good for you," her mum finally says, her face gives nothing away of what she feels. "But it's not my decision to make."

It takes a while until Sara-Maria fully grasps the meaning of what she said. Alissa smiles and says, "It's as good as you can get from mum."

Sara-Maria looks at her mum in disbelief. "Even if I choose to stay with Marco, you'll be fine with it?"

"I'll try to be," her mum replies. "If that what makes you happy."

"...Thank you," Sara-Maria says, after a long second of silence. Her mum doesn't smile, but Sara-Maria knows she means what she said. It's quite a big deal, coming from her mother. It's as if a heavy burden has been lifted from her shoulder, because finally she can shake off the terrible feeling of disappointing her mum.

But she still has a lot to think about, for the biggest problem will always be herself, and how she must learn to fully accept Marco for who he is, and deal with it. Otherwise it will never work. And it's not an easy thing to do.

What Bea told her a while ago crosses her mind.

He's better worth it, though.

And Sara-Maria's answer still remains the same. Undoubtedly.

He is.