14 - christmas eve

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it's been a while

last time was chaos in this house

still in chaos until now

just empty of us

your favorite vase is nowhere to be found

papers and receipts all around

all your letters unread

covered in mildew

i throw them straight to our unused furnace

don't want to read intricate lies from an actress

won't hope for a santa claus from the chimney

because we are no longer on his list

the only thing that'll fall

on the coal tonight

are my tears of regret and disbelief;

until four years ago, thought i'd be with you

every christmas eve

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