Without You (Short Story)

Chapter 8: Hearts Upon Our Sleeves

Kyle

People say that hurt is always a constant component in the complicated equation of love. That no matter what you do, you'll always give the one person you love the most the power to hurt you unlike anyone else.

Well, I couldn't exactly argue with that, because it would be the understatement of the year if I say otherwise; for me, and for Avery. This past year in my life has been a living testament to that. Things suddenly took a turn for the worse, all thanks to me and my hasty decisions. 

When Avery left for Manchester, all I could ever think about was getting to start over with this girl I once liked as a teenage boy. I tried to make good with what I had at the time, in the person of Emily and the short relationship we had just after I had broken up with Avery. Emily never knew about her, as far as I know. 

Just another thing to add to the long list of the bad things I've done in recent times. 

Although I know that Emily must have known Avery at some point in time - we were in the same high school after all - she never asked about her, much to my delight. I didn't have to tell her anything, and she didn't have to know that I was still in a relationship with Avery while we were still getting to know each other again. Although I technically wasn't replacing Avery with Emily at the time that we were still together, it still sort of felt like the same thing anyway. Although the guilt of hurting Avery was eating me up inside, I kept it buried deep down into the confines of my mind so that I wouldn't feel bad about myself. 

But boy, did that backfire against me.

When I realized just how much of an idiot I was for hurting the only girl who's stuck up with me through everything for the past five years of my life - weirdness and unpredictability aside - it took everything in my power not to end my sorry excuse of a life right then and there. I felt so bad about myself that I thought of taking matters in my own hands just to stomp down the grief and the guilt I felt.

Thankfully, it didn't happen in the end, but it took a while before I finally gave up that notion - much thanks to my friends - and started working towards my new-found purpose: to fix what I had broken between Avery and I. And so, I ended up ruining my relationship with Emily. Not that there was anything wrong with her in any way at all, because it was me who raked in the biggest problems into our lives. I didn't know how to act around her anymore, and needless to say, I also ended up hurting her too.

Things have unfolded pretty damn roughly from there, but I like to think that I must have at least moved an inch away from where I started. I knew from the very beginning that it wasn't going to be easy - there's a chance that Avery won't take me back after all - but God knows I just had to try. I wouldn't forgive myself when I knew I could've done something to salvage what we had and didn't do anything about it. It's gonna be a long journey to winning Avery's hand and heart again, but even if I have to crawl and beg my way through it inch by inch, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Which is exactly the reason why I'm making a difference this morning. 

When I woke up today, I had this big, determined grin on my face, and I felt like I could do anything I wanted with my life. So yes, everybody probably has me all figured out by now. Which is why I'm driving over to Hadley's to finally get Avery to take me back, no matter what it takes.

It's been a week since the day she took care of me while I was sick, and I haven't seen her since. I'm in better shape now thanks to her, because even if she wasn't physically there, she still took care of me. Every morning this past week, she left warm food and medicines with sticky notes that had instructions to drink them on my doorstep.