fangirl | renjun

Chapter 13

"Looks like I'm interrupting something."

Jinae stands there just as awkwardly as Renjun and Aera were– but mostly Renjun.

Aera knew that this was probably the best time for her to leave. There was no need for her to be here. This was the tell-tale sign for her to leave.

Gathering the little courage she has left with her, and possibly of the courage to finally accept how things would have never worked out for her and Renjun. None of this was real to begin with, but what was between Renjun and Jinae– that was real.

"I'll take my leave." She suddenly announces suddenly breaking the silence that the three of them were sharing after Jinae spoke.

"Wait!" Renjun finally turns around. He grabs onto her wrist stopping her from taking a step further, but pulling her close enough for Aera to completely forget about quite possibly the other person present in the situation.

If she was honest all she could see was how Renjun illuminated a certain glow due to the sun going down, just as he usually is surrounded by the same light when they would leave the art room.

But now was not the time to be distracted by how good he looked in that glow. Instead she leans in closer towards Renjun and whispers, "let go."

He shakes his head.

"Isn't this what you've always wanted?"

He remains quiet before taking a step back and turning towards Jinae once again. He bows his head before walking ahead of her and pulling her along. He continued to pull her along the hallway before they stopped right in front of the art room. Without letting go of her hand, he twists the door to the room, probably hoping that it wasn't locked, and it was exactly that. The door swings open and Renjun finally looks at her and jerks his head towards the room.

Aera enters the room and heads straight to the chair where she sits down while she watches the football team's practice while Renjun does his paintings. At this time, however, she was so preoccupied with what was happening that all her eyes were on Renjun.

Especially when he stops right in front of her after putting his hand down.

"What's going on?"

Renjun's eyes wander around.

"I don't understand, isn't this what you wanted? She was literally there right in front of you." Her arms were beginning to flail around.

Renjun shakes his head.

"I'm confused." She whispered to herself.

Renjun's head snapped towards her. "What?"

Aera's eyes were wavering as it met Renjun's.

"Why are you confused?" His eyes were curious. A little too curious that she knew if she misspoke another word he would read too much into the situation.

"That's beyond the point." She looks away.

"No. It isn't."

"Renjun..." she sighs.

"Aera, I don't know how to tell you this–"

"We should really end this whole thing." She stands up from sitting down hoping to be able to stand face to face with Renjun. Yet she was a bit shorter than Renjun and couldn't exactly meet him in the eye.

"Aera..."

"The longer this goes on, the stronger I'm beginning to feel guilty about this."

Renjun goes quiet.

"Jaemin and Yuri are doing great. You have the attention of the girl you–"

"Should we?" Renjun looks away yet his voice sounds like it was wavering.

Then the room goes quiet. Aera takes a step back and stares down at the floor. She could hear her heartbeat echo in her ears not sure if she would be able to hear anything other than her own heartbeat.

"We have to tell them." Renjun finally breaks their silence after taking a deep breath himself.

Aera doesn't talk.

It was making Renjun nervous. He was shifting his weight from one leg to another, one thing he never does. He was continuously looking at her, anxiously waiting for something else other than the silence she was giving him. If he waited any longer he would be able to hear his blood run through his veins, but luckily, the only thing keeping him sane was how loud the beating of his heart was against his ears.

"Aera..."

Renjun raised his hand and placed it on her shoulders. Aera still doesn't face him. Instead he hears his own heart beating extremely fast as something else begins to circle his mind.

"We need to–" he stopped talking when he realized she was shaking. "Aera?" He leans down to catch a glimpse of her face, but she continues to evade him by turning her head away from him.

Renjun finally removes his arms off her shoulders and takes a step back. Once he did, she finally raised her head.

Tears were flowing down her eyes.

"Aera." He wasn't sure how much more he would call out her name, but it feels like the only thing he could do.

Yet he boldly lifts his hand up, but stops right before he wipes her tears. He was waiting for some kind of approval of what he was doing– anything. Once their eyes met and tears began to fall even more, he knew that was her sign.

His hand gently wipes away the tears in her eyes until it rests on her cheek. He was taking steps towards her, very slowly, a little too slowly, but he was being cautious about what was now considered alright. They weren't in front of people for them to be acting like this, they were alone in the room and probably no one else in these halls. There was no need to hold her in his arms and act all in love with her.

Yet he wanted to.

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" Her voice was being held back by the lumps in her throat.

"For..." he pauses as all he could see was her lips trembling. "For what I'm about to do."

Things went quickly for Aera. For a second she didn't understand what Renjun was apologizing for, the next his lips were on hers and she swore there was no need for apologies. She didn't want to close her eyes, if she was being honest, she wanted to look at him, even if she couldn't focus on him. She wanted to see it herself that it was actually him and no else that was kissing her. Yet, the moment he pulled away was just as quick.

"Renjun–"

He was clearly lost for words and apologetically looked at Aera. "I'm sorry."

Renjun bows his head hoping for forgiveness, but picks up his bag that she never noticed he dropped and stormed out of the art room.

She feels her legs go weak and feel down to the couch leaving her staring at the door of the art room.