The Ghost Town

Chapter Eight

TW: Fighting, anxiety, drinking, potentially upsetting content.
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Another day, another night at the pub. That was Pip's routine.

Day in and day out, she'd drink her life away. Drink until she couldn't anymore, and then drink more. It wasn't healthy and it certainly wasn't sustainable, but Pip didn't really care all too much. She saw no point in stopping. So why should she if she saw no point.

Pip knew that her actions were hurting everyone else. She felt lost and alone. She knew what she was doing was so wrong but she just couldn't stop herself. She just couldn't stop.

She felt so alone but she couldn't stop and she was too prideful to let herself quit. She was too prideful to quit. It wasn't healthy but she did it anyways and she saw no point in quitting. She didn't see the point yet. She was still alive, wasn't she.

It wasn't good for her and she knew that. If she had known all this would happen before she picked up the first bottle of vodka, she would've avoided it like the plague. But she didn't know. She didn't think it would escalate to this point. She just didn't know.

She should've known. At least, she thought she should've known. It seemed rather silly that she didn't know. She should've known that all of this was going to happen. It was obvious as she looked back on it. It was pretty obvious that all of this was going to happen.

Pip didn't like it, but she guessed things just happened that way. There was seemingly nothing she could do. Nothing that she wanted to do, anyways. What else was there to do. She was burning herself from the inside out but she was just too prideful to even care.

Maybe she should care. Just a little. It'd be nice for someone to care about her. Even if she was that someone. But she didn't care. Caring was too hard, so she wasn't going to do it. It was too hard, so she wouldn't do something that was too hard.

She thought about Ellie. How she hurt Ellie. That was wrong of her to do. Ellie was very sweet when she wasn't Dirty Diamond. She wished Ellie was Ellie more often instead of her constantly being Dirty Diamond. It wasn't fun for anyone. She knew it tired Ellie out too.

But then again, what does Pip know. She's a raging alcoholic who hurts and deceives the people she loves. She doesn't think. She hated thinking. It was hard for her. She didn't want to think. It was a hard thing to do, so why should she want to do it?

Pip stumbled out of the pub. This time she had two bottles in her hand. One of beer and one of vodka. She didn't know which one to start with. She could do either. Nobody was going to stop her. No one cared enough to try and stop her anyways.

Pip felt horrible. Horrible for the way she treated everyone. But it wasn't going to change. Not as long as she kept drinking. And she didn't plan on quitting her drinking anytime soon. She didn't see the point, so why should she do something she saw no point in doing.

She wouldn't stop even if everyone got on their knees and begged her to. The more they plead and beg, the less she wanted to quit. It was a sick and twisted thing, but it's just the way it happened. Pip knew that it was wrong, but she couldn't stop.

She didn't want to quit. She was still alive and still somewhat functioning. Even if she was just barely doing so, it had to have been better than nothing, surely. But maybe her housemates would prefer nothing. She wasn't exactly sure, but that would hurt if they all preferred nothing.

She knew she probably deserved it, but it would still hurt all the same. And she hated hurting. That's why she drank so much. To get rid of all the pain and hurt that she felt. Past, present, and future. She saw no reason to quit, so she just wouldn't.