EDITOR | Akitoya ( Project Sekai )

Hatred Still Held {7}

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S
yo

squid9
why do you always say yo
instead of hi or hello or hey

S
what
because I like to

squid9
ok

S
anyways you got any more fanfictions?
oh and did you read the book I suggested

squid9
yes
yes
yes to both

S
what's the point in saying yes three times
but kk
I'll get editing then

squid9
no

S
?

squid9
let's talk more

S
uhhhhh
ok
what about

squid9
why'd you willingly edit my fanfics?

S
i enjoyed them
I don't really care if they weee bad
were*
they were well written
yea there was a lot of typos and word choices that couldve been
better
but they were still nice

squid9
I see

S
why'd you get into writing

squid9
to escape
ig
ive always been kinda ill
so it's just to avoid this sort of
repetitious loop

S
are you mentally ill
wait no
no that sounds rude
no
no
I meant that in
a
you sound depressed

squid9
lmao
maybe
kk go edit if you want to

S
kk
bye, squiddy
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To me, stories or books where the protagonist is depressed have always been so funny. The constant self degradation, the endless 'I'm so useless', books like those are horrible, so annoying to read that they become a source of amusement. I suppose that I'm like that, or at least was, unable to see any sort of value in myself, value I still believe I at least partially lack.

Value.

It's quite an interesting topic, what truly has value? Everything can be recreated, just not identically, everything can be redone, remade, which would bring everything to a value of nothing. Hm? Yelling... father. Father's home quite early, actually. How unfortunate.
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{NO POV}
He quietly stood up, nausea filling him as he heard his father shout at him through the door, muffled by the wood separating them. He unlocked the door, opening it as it creaked. His father looked down upon him, his eyes filled with only darkness, scowling at his own son. The blue haired boy glared back up, almost at eye-level with his father, somewhat frowning.

"Toya, your dinner's ready."
"I'm not hungry," he snarled, shutting the door as he walked back to his computer desk, forgetting to lock it.

The door slammed open, his enraged father looking at him as though he were an insect, a useless waste of time that was pointless to invest his life in. Toya flinched at the sound, his glare harshening as he grabbed a book off his desk, stepping towards his dad, the older man stepping back, scoffing at the pathetic attempt at making him leave.

     "Toya, you can't just avoid your father anymore."
     "Father? You're not even a dad...I'd rather have mom tell me, not you. That dinner's ready."
     "There's no need to be selfish, Toya, I won't be eating at the table with you," he almost growled, Toya's eyes somewhat widening at the word 'selfish'.

     He knew he was selfish, he knew that, yet he refused to hear that from his father, from the reason he had become so self-centered, so disobedient towards higher ones. Selfishness was what he was fed by his father, it was what he was taught as a child, only an excuse his father formed to reflect his own guilt onto his son.

     "You're going to have your computer taken away if you keep acting so aggressive towards me. You can't just act like I'm not your parent, that your mother's the only one who's ever taken care of you. Besides, I was only here to tell you your mother cooked food for once."
     "Just, just go away. Go away. I'll eat soon, I'm just not hungry now."
     "Fine then. If you're not down there in an hour, your computer's being taken away for a week," his tone softened, yet the harshness of it still remained as he exited the room, ignoring the opened door.

     The blue haired boy groaned as he threw the book onto the floor, seating himself in his chair and slumping over. He felt as though he were going to vomit, almost unable to lift his arms as he yawned. Maybe I could talk to S or Mizuki, maybe Tsukasa, he thought, staring at the brightly lit computer screen, the only thing illuminating his room. He opened his messages with his childhood friend, his vision somewhat blurry as he typed.
——————————
squid9
hi

MIZUZU!!!
HEYYY
how are you

squid9
I'm fine
my dad got mad at me
almost broke my door
and threatened to take my computer away
idk why he didn't consider my phone

MIZUZU!!!
he's so dumb
dudeee we could go to the arcade
so you could yk get away from him
respond
bro reply
REPLY
DID YOU DIE
WHY ARE YOU STILL TYPING
?????
——————————
     He let out a quiet chuckle, somewhat grinning as he watched them spam more messages out of panic, before finally sending a message.
——————————
squid9
sorry
sorry
lmao
but sure
I'm feeling a bit nauseous though

MIZUZU!!!
we could go tomorrow then
go eat or drink smth tho
don't want you dying on me now

squid9
I'll try not to
besides S would be even more concerned
he'd have no closure

MIZUZU!!!
I'm beginning to think you're gay

squid9
..what?

MIZUZU!!!
it's always
S
always him bro
okk wait you should go to school tomorrow
we have a test
and after we can go to the arcade

squid9
what subject, how many questions

MIZUZU!!!
math, like 36 questions

squid9
kk
make sure to have money for the arcade
my dad's definitely not gonna give me any

MIZUZU!!!
I WILL
don't worry a little bit

squid9
well I will but
kk
bye now

MIZUZU!!!
buh-byeee
——————————
     He signed, his vision normalizing as he stood up, stepping outside of his room. As he quietly walked over to the dining room, he seated himself on a chair, staring at the pile of pancakes his mother laid in front of him.

     Pancakes.

     Wasn't that Akito's favorite food?

     The two-toned haired boy gently punched his thigh, almost annoyed at himself for thinking about the ginger as often as he did.

     "I hope you enjoy your pancakes, Toya. I was hoping you'd come out, aha," she let out an awkward giggle, leaving the room as the boy thanked her. He picked up the fork, his arm shaking as his fingers twitched as he stabbed the food, shoving it into his throat as he gagged, his nausea expanding throughout. His father walked into the room, Toya staring at him. As his father stared back, his gaze harshened, looking back at the barely eaten pancakes. He forced more down his throat, standing up as he finished one, picking up the plate and gently placing it on the counter before running to his room, feeling as though he were going to pass out.

     He turned on the computer, going back into the website he had always wasted his time on, resting his fingers on the keyboard as he began to type.
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WORD COUND: 1176
sorry for bit shorter chapter