𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 (𝐂𝐅)

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲 𝐬𝐢𝐱- 𝐓𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞?

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Deb practice was as normal, we spent the time dancing, laughing, getting told off my Rachel. My dance partner was Jeremiah, Cam came in the end. It was good, it was nice having some time where all it was, was laughter.

"I don't know what to do El's, do I forgive him?" Shayla didn't come to Deb practice today, though she had forgiven Steven, i think she just needed a day for herself since tomorrow she's coming round to ours for belly's birthday.

"What he did was shitty, and it made him a piece of shit, but he does really like you. I've never seen him so happy." She nods her head taking a sip from her cup of tea, we had friends playing on the background, unfortunately the episode where Ross and Rachel have that massive fight, it wasn't making Shayla feel any better. I grab the remote changing it to the next episode.

"How are you after last night? I heard you and Taylor had a fight." She almost laughs as I roll my eyes turning my head to her. "It wasn't really a fight, Conrad dragged me off her before it got serious." I shrug looking back to the TV.

"They really do protect you don't they." I furrow my eyebrows at Shayla. "The boys, sometimes I think they protect you more than Steven does."

"Please, they protect me so that Steven doesn't have to, but yeah they do."
"I don't think that's the only reason El." She raises her eyebrows as she grins at me. "Ok look, if I tell you something it stays between us, and I really mean that okay?" I put out my pinky as we pinky promise both crossing our legs as we sit opposite each other.

"Me and Jeremiah slept together." Her eyes to wide as her mouth drops. "You and Jere?!" She starts laughing as I join in. "But we promised to not tell anyone!" I remind her as she nods her head.

"Interesting." She looks away from a split second. "Interesting?" I question. "We'll I don't know, I just thought it was either of the fisher boys it would be Conrad." If only she knew. If me and Conrad ever tell people about us, she'll be the first I tell.

Shayla always knew the best advice and how to deal with stuff. But I wasn't ready to tell her, we'll they're was nothing to tell, not anymore. I wanted to talk to Conrad but when I came back downstairs to find him his car was gone and so was Lola.

I finally understood how belly felt, being in love with someone so emotionally unavailable, it's scary never knowing where you stand, but still I did love him. At least I think I still did.

I left Shayla's as I walked home listening to music. It had been a long hot day, it was around eleven pm when I got home. I went into the house, all the lights where off except the kitchen.

I get a glass of water as I see Conrad and Lola sat on the deck chairs outside chatting. I guess I really should move on. I knew it was too good to be true whatever we was.

"Hey you're back late." A tired Steven walks down the stairs rubbing his eyes. "I was at Shayla's." He wakes up a little walking over to me, trying to find the words to say. "Uh how is she? She's barely replied to my messages today."

"She's good, she just needed a day for herself." He nods before grabbing my water. "Stop stealing my stuff!" I grab the water back as he laughs trying to spit water out of his mouth.

As we stop laughing we hear a pair of whispers as belly and Taylor enter the kitchen holding pillows, blankets and array of snacks. "What are you guys doing?" Steven asks quietly.

"Sleepover downstairs duh." Taylor says, it was weird, these two were acting normal again, I guess that was a good thing?

"You guys should join w'ere gonna play some games, watch some movies." Belly smiles at us both. "Sure, want me to get Jere and Con?" Steven asks as the girls nods there heads quickly.

"Con's outside." I say as the girls chuck all there food on the counter. "I know, I think he's getting with that Lola girl." Steven nudges my arm, usually I would say it's gross and who would want to date someone like him. But all I can do is give him an awkward smile.

"Hey you go get con I'll go grab Jere." He says heading upstairs before I can protest, I groan heading to the patio, I watch them for a second, it was clear they were in deep conversation, what did he have to tell her? He barely talks to his own family. But a girl he's known for two seconds is allowed to know everything?

I walk down as I stand in front of them both as they jump a little. "Belly and Taylor are doing movies and games in the living room for belly's birthday." I say bluntly. "I'll pass." Conrad says, keeping his eyes on me.

"It's Belly's birthday, maybe think about someone else for once." I scoff waiting for him to protest, to say a snarky comment back. "You're right, I'll be there in a second." He turns back to Lola who gives me a very small smile. I hated this, I felt like we had gone back in time, did we mean that little to him.

I head back inside but stop at the door. I had been wanting to speak to him all day but haven't had time, I keep putting off and then wondering why we aren't talking. I didn't care if Lola was there, I needed to speak to him.

As I turn around I nearly bump into Lola who comes through the door. "Sorry Ellie, I was just leaving." She smiles walking past me as she says goodbye to everyone quietly. That means Conrad was still out there, it was the perfect time to talk to him.

I walk down the steps, I noticed he was stood lighting a cigarette. I walk down the steps standing behind him. "I think we should talk." He turns around looking down to me as he blows smoke out of his mouth.

"What's going on Conrad?"
"You're the one who spent half the day with James." He shrugs barely looking at me. "I told you it was for Susanna, if you don't understand that..."

"El's you know I understand more than anyone else, but then you for some reason at dinner got mad at me. I don't understand what I did."

"I just felt like you were interested in Lola." I breath out as a grin slowly appears on his face. "It's not funny con." I cross my arms as he was fully laughing now.

"Uh El's she's gay." Oh, I didn't know that. God I look like the biggest idiot. "Then how come she wanted to talk to you alone, when no one was here?" I question.

"She hasn't come out to anyone yet, she needed someone to talk to." I kod my head letting my arms uncross, maybe I was over thinking this all a little too much.

"And we talked about you." He says slowly as I raise my eyebrows. "What about me?" I ask with hesitation. "Somehow you're mostly what I talk about to other people, she was talking about how her girlfriend made her feel and it reminded me of how I feel about you. You're name and face always pop up in my head."

My heart was racing, I didn't even realise I was smiling from ear to ear, my cheeks hot with blush. "Oh." I manage to get out, Conrad drops his cigarette to the floor as he moves closer towards me.

"Ellie, last night was one of the best nights I've had at cousins. I'm not going to hurt you." His hands cup my face as we stare into each others eyes. "You promise?" I ask in a whisper.

"I promise." He said it in a way that it would be hard not to believe him. But I really did, I trusted him. And to answer my question earlier, I was definitely still in love with Conrad fisher.

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