Obsession (BxB)[completed]

Part 21

As I was waiting for Taemin to arrive, I had called Haru a few more times, but he didn't reply to my calls or my texts...
I felt vulnerable...
My head was filled with helpless thoughts...
Should I go back and find him?...
What if it was really my fault?...
Should I go and apologize?...
Is it really over because of something so trivial?...
How could he just end it like this?...
You said you liked me...
Nonetheless, when you decided to cut me out of your life, it was so easy and simple that I couldn't help but laugh...
I realized I was nothing to you, a mere passing thought that you could so easily forget. I knew then that I was just a joke for you, something to laugh about and move on. I knew that I meant nothing...

                                   ~

This was why I was afraid of losing myself to you... I was scared of becoming an insignificant part of your life, of being forgotten...
I was scared of falling too deep and too hard and not being able to get myself back.... I was scared of being hurt....
Even though I fell for you in the end...
I wanted to tell you how I felt, but it was too late...
You had already gone...

It felt like all my feelings were locked away in my heart, never to be shared...
I was so frustrated and heartbroken, knowing that I would never get the chance to tell you. I had wasted too much time, and now it was too late...

                                   ~

After seeing Taemin approaching me, my sobbing became even louder...
He put his arms around me and asked what happened... I wanted to tell him, but the words wouldn't come out....
I just held onto him and let the tears flow...
When I calmed down a bit, he took me to his car...
While driving aimlessly, Taemin remained silent until I was ready to speak... I finally opened up and told him everything about what had happened...
Then he said, "Myung, it wasn't your fault, okay?... Don't blame yourself... I'm 100% sure he'll regret what he did... but in my opinion, ending things here is better for you... "...

+"I know~... I know it well~... but~... my heart hurts... "

Taemin put his hand on mine and said, "It's okay to feel heartbroken, Myung. You don't have to be strong all the time. You'll get through this, I promise."
I wiped my tears and replied, "I hope so... thanks for coming by the way... I was so lost then... " He smiled and hugged me... I felt a little better...
Afterwards, he dropped me off at home. I thanked him again and said goodbye...

                                    ~

As I entered home, I headed straight to my room, and I lay down without even turning the lights on...
I looked at my phone's screen, there wasn't any notification from him...
I was struggling with whether to text him again or not...
After a few minutes, I decided to text him and explain, not because of to beg him to come back... but because I felt unfair... I'd like to at least clarify a few things...

I sent him this: " I just texted you to say I wasn't ignoring you... I just was angry at you for yelling at me about something stupid, and you didn't even apologise... I tried to avoid arguing with you by remaining silent until I became calm...
The reason why I couldn't bring your phone or refuse to eat was because I wasn't feeling well since I had a hangover...
I never asked you to pamper me... "...

Obviously, he never replied...

                                    ~

As I was isolating myself in my room for two weeks and finally getting myself together, I started planning my life all over...
Haru called me again...
When I saw his name on my phone, I was caught off guard...
My whole body's cells were screaming that they wanted to hear his voice again...
All my feelings were heightened...
But I remembered that day how miserable I was, and he didn't give a shit...
Just like Taemin said, it's better to end now than later...
It was really difficult, but I rejected all his calls... It was the right thing to do...
I knew that if I didn't do it, we'd be stuck in an unhealthy cycle...