In the Shadow of Azkaban

Volume I: XLIV

My skin was warm when I began to open my eyes in the early morning hours. I could feel Sebastian's hands wrapped around me while his chest pressed against my back. The darkness through the windows ensued like it did constantly in this Vivarium.

I could feel his breathing softly in my ear. I matched his rhythm with my own breath to see if that would aid me in falling back asleep.

I could not seem to relax. I focused on how my leg persistently itched or that I needed to comb my tangled hair.

I had heard a small whimper, so I turned the other way. Sebastian's face was twisted while he muttered something under his breath. His eyelids moved at rapid speed, and sweat drenched his locks.

I began running my fingers through his hair to see if it would help rid him of the nightmare. His brows smoothed out, and I could see a decrease in his chest rising and falling. I traced my fingers lightly across his face. I ran them across his broad lips.

I thought about Obliviating myself. I could meet with Douglas again, and I would have him remove the same memories that I planned to take from Sebastian. I was not sure that I wanted to remember anything about him anymore.

Sebastian's eyes drifted open while my thumb was brushing against his lips. He smiled fondly at me. His whole face was relaxed as he reached for me.

He didn't attempt to push it too far. Sebastian kept his body apart from mine while he caressed my scar. I brought my face close to his and put my cheek against him.

He pulled away slightly to have his lips linger in front of mine. My eyes closed softly as he kissed me delicately. I did not reciprocate much.

Sebastian frowned when he withdrew. "Humor me," he took a piece of my hair and wrapped it around his fingers before replacing them once again to my cheek.

He guided his hand to the nape of my neck and immeshed us once more. His lips moved against mine with a great deal of desire. Sebastian grabbed my shoulders and thrust me on top of him.

My eyes widened, as he had set me right on top of his dick. I wanted to disappear. I hurriedly scrambled to move myself forward. That way, I was sitting on top of his waist instead. I felt blood pooling in my cheeks. Sebastian smiled wryly at me and began kissing my hands.

His fingers encircled my wrists. He drug me toward him slowly. When he was about to press our lips together I warned, "Sebastian, my rules..."

He laughed against my skin, "Nudity in itself is not sexual," He eyed me up and down, "But you. You are my weakness. You could elicit arousal from the most feeble and the most profound men."

His pupils were heavily dilated as he told me, "But I won't tempt you since you're already managing to do that yourself." Sebastian's hands found their way to the back of my neck and drew me in for one last passionate kiss.

I pulled away when he seemed content and maneuvered myself out of the bed. I shuffled over to the armoire and picked out my clothes. I dressed myself behind the door and re-emerged to see Sebastian scowling at me.

"I promise you that even when you remove my memories, I will never move on. I just hope you understand that," he clenched his jaw, and I could see his throat move up and down slowly.

"I already have a plan for the pensieve, if that's what you're alluding to," I said in a mildly irritated tone.

"No. I mean, I will never have another meaningful relationship. I won't marry. I might fool around with women here and there, but you will never see me settle down." He ran his hand through his hair and looked down toward the comforter.

His eyes lifted slightly to meet mine. I could feel them burning into me as he admitted, "It will always be you. You will have to continue to Obliviate me throughout the rest of our lives. My soul has bonded to yours, and even if my memories cease to exist, the feeling will always be present."

"Well, we should get started then. I'll have to keep practicing for eternity." I rolled my eyes and sat on the bed while he changed back into his robes. Sebastian's hand extended out to me, and we made our way to Hogsmeade.

...

I shielded my eyes from the sky's brightness once we entered the hamlet. We walked hand in hand toward the cottage. When we approached the hill, I could see that Ominis was waiting outside for us.

I could see him from far away tapping his foot nervously against the dirt. His hands were clasped around his neck as he paced back and forth before he sensed my presence. He faced me directly and crossed his hands at his waist.

I ran up to him. I had practically tackled him while drawing his body into my arms. I pulled away to see his eyes were watery. "I'm alright. I promise. We only kissed. Nothing else happened," I reassured him. I kissed him on his nose, his cheeks, and his closed eyes before letting our mouths meet. He was eager, so I moved away. "Later, " I promised.

Sebastian remained further back until I had stepped away from Ominis. He handed Ominis his wand. "I'm ready," he said sternly. We all ambled into the cottage.

Sebastian sat down in one of the kitchen chairs as I drew my wand. I took many deep breaths before I was able to aim at him. Thank Merlin his eyes were not locked on mine. I don't know if I would have the strength to remove his memories while he was staring at me.

I wound my wand slowly. The words dripped from my mouth like poison, "Obliviate." My wand kept turning over in my hand as I cherry-picked the memories that would be banished from his mind.

I focused intently. I pushed my feet harder into the floor to ground myself. I dropped my wand to my side, and Sebastian and I both fell forward.

He peered up at me. His eyes were blank at first, and then emotion overtook him. He looked up at me like I could have been anyone. There was no gleam in his eye or smirk on his face. I was not special to him anymore.