Overlooked-Tommyinnit

Part 6

tw: self harm, overworking, yelling, mental abuse, eating disorder, all platonic, brotherly love.

My brothers were coming tomorrow, I missed them but I realized that they don't care.
I tried calling them so many times.
they never cared.
My thoughts were quickly broken up, when I heard a yell coming.
"TOMMY FOOD." My Dad yelled, he started drinking more frequently.
"not hungry" and I stopped eating.

Maybe if I was prettier?
If I was more slim?
I don't even have appetite.

I've been laying in my bed for the past couple of hours, going through my notes. I didn't feel like doing anything, I lost motivation to even live.

I don't even feel like that I'm alive.
Everyone knew me as a "happy kid" with the perfect family, everyone was surprised in school when I didn't yell at the other kids.
I went from being the happy & loud kid in school, to the quiet kid. Who doesn't speak all day.

Suddenly I heard my phone ring.

Will
Accept Decline

Why was he calling me? I wondered. I accepted his call.
"Tommy!" Wilbur's voice rang through the phone.
"Will?" I replied, sounding more like a question.
"Dad isn't picking up the phone, we are landing around 7am tomorrow." Will said.
"Oh he's juts busy, I'll tell him" I replied lying, knowing he was drunk.
"Okay, thanks Toms, goodnight" Wilbur replied
"No problem Will, goodnight" I said, then Will hung up the phone.

I texted my dad when they are arriving which he replied "ok" to.

Then I let my thoughts wonder.

No one called me Toms in so long.
I cant let myself get distracted from studying!
I cant let my grades slip.
It doesn't worth it!
They are gonna leave me anyway.
I cant make them proud.

Focus Tommy...focus.

I put down my phone and started studying again, went through endless of words, highlighted lines again, took notes, read through the material, made it make sense in my brain, no matter how difficult it was, or how much I didn't understand it.

-time skip 6:30am-

I glanced at the clock, another sleepless night, I don't think I've slept in the past 4 days. I had multiple coffees a day, hoping that'll easy my drowsiness. I decided to get myself ready. I walked into my bathroom where I looked into the mirror and glanced at my reflection.

Scars littered arms, some were months old, some were from yesterday,
Feeling dizzy,
Vision blurring,
Red bags under my eyes,
collarbones showing,
the visible weight loss,
My lifeless expression.

I took a shower and put on a oversized hoodie with jeans. I brushed my hair, trying to make me look presentable. I couldn't. It was visible that I was struggling yet no one cared. My dad saw me everyday but he didn't care. My school saw me everyday and didn't care. The nurse noticed my scarred arm, she didn't care.
All they ever cared about is how my grades were.
How did my brothers do with school, with music, with writing books.
I was constantly overlooked, no matter what I did.

Little did I know, I have all my notes written.

My dad soon called me down for breakfast, still sobering up from the night before. I politely declined his offer.

Dad announced that we are going for my brothers. Soon we were on the road.

-time skip airport-

We arrived at the airport, I was barely awake and conscious. I was shaking from the lack of food. Soon I spotted a tall brunette running towards me.

"TOMSSSSS" I hear Wilbur shout, and embracing me into a hug.
"Willl" I tried matching his energy, and acting happy.

Wilbur let go of the hug, and I saw a pink haired man behind him, Techno.

"Come here Theseus" Techno said opening his arms to hug me, which I accepted and hugged him. Melting into his strong embrace.

My dad said hi to everyone and we helped them get their bags into the car and slowly drove home.

I was about to walk upstairs when I heard Will call my name.

"Tommy?" Will asked
"Yeah?" I replied, turning towards him.
"Wanna play games with me and Techno?" Wilbur asked.
"No sorry, I have to study." I declined.
"Toms-" Wilbur tried calling my name.
"I HAVE TO STUDY WILBUR." I yelled, Wilbur flinched back from the sudden change of my tone.

I ran into my room, I closed the door and started crying.
Life hurt.
I pulled my sleeve up and pulled my fingers across my scars.
It calmed me in a way, seeing that how much my life has fell apart.
I walked to my desks and restarted my studies.

I don't wanna do this anymore.

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