Ashes in the Darkness

Close Air

I sat in the back of the car, knowing I only had a few minutes before I reached the destination of the compound. I put my face in my hands, rubbing at my eyes, trying as hard as I could to stop the flash images of what I had just been through from popping into my head. Ghost and Soap sat next to me silently. How did they do it? How did it not affect them every single day?

I raised my head, wanting nothing more than to drift to sleep and never wake up. I would have done anything not to feel what I was feeling right now. I put my lips to my fingers, holding my chin with my thumbs. "30 seconds, weapons hot."

The truck pulled up to an enormous agave farm, the only thing for miles were weber blue agave stalks big enough to hide behind. Coming to a stop I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, I was back in danger. Ghost held out a new mag to me and I placed it in my vest, somehow, I had gone through both mags inside the village. Stepping out of the car, I let my close my eyes in the evening sun, it felt warm and comforting in the terror I was trapped in. "Ash?" Ghost said, his tone was hushed, opening my eyes I found myself staring into the dimming sunlight, his giant cloaked figure drawing in the last rays of the day, "take my TAC-50 rifle, head up to that water tower and provide overwatch."

I reminded myself to thank him later, I also reminded myself to begin running harder and strengthening my limbs at the gym once this was all over. I could barely hold myself up, he could see that, "I need you to watch after us, you'll need to pull the trigger if we get into trouble. Communicate everything you see, civilians, guns, fucking livestock... we need to know it all," I was surprised by his tone, sympathetic, even concerned slightly. "Turn around."

I cocked my head but did as I was told, "Graves will be up in the sky in the plane," I looked up and saw the large black cargo plane above, circling silently. Ghost attached something to the back of my vest, pulling on it to make sure that it was secure, "this an IR light, his team will be able to see you when the guns start blazing. They will know not to hit you."

I turned back to him with my eyes cast to the ground, tears might as well have been falling but I  didn't have the energy to cry, nor the liquid in my body to supply the tears. I could feel my mind going back to that ledge again, looking down at the flames of hell. His gloved hand found its way to my chin, and I almost snapped my head back in surprise of the contact, but he lifted my eyes to look into his. "You did your job back there," he said, his hand fell away from my face and pulled on the strap of the TAC-50, holding it like it was his own child, "I didn't check my six, you did. And I'm alive because of that."

This wasn't a compliment from Ghost, nor was this a ploy to motivate me. This was his way of thanking me. He was shaken by the encounter just as much as I was, and I could see the small fray in the seams of his control. Maybe the disturbance in him was not as harsh or obvious but that rage in him had to be fueled by something, and that something was fear. I nodded and ran my fingers through my hair. I must have looked like hell right now, hair wet and knotted, pale, fearful, and tired. "I used my whole mag on him."

Now the tears were welling my eyes, I looked away from Ghost as I wiped them away from my face with my glove. He stepped closer to me, "no one's first time is easy, you'll remember it the rest of your life unfortunately," he turned to Soap and Alejandro who were ready but had their backs turned. I didn't know why they were giving the two of us privacy like that, but I was thankful for it. "Right now, I need you to watch out for us again. Can you do that?"

I looked up at him and held out my hand. He understood and handed me the TAC-50, "Good, I'll cover you until you get to the top."

I wasted no time, going as quickly as I could up the ladder to the top of a very old and rusted water tower. Crawling on my belly to the edge, I looked down, it reminded me of the several times I made a trip to go and see Grim at his fire tower. I could see the entire forest from above, everything was green for as far as the eye could see.