I love you (no homo)

Part Six

Sober Brett didn't always trust what drunk Brett was doing and thinking, and besides, he had to deal with a headache right away when he woke up, so he didn't feel like thinking about anything at all.

Right now, he just had to focus on getting to class. He decided that there was absolutely no time to go reminisce about anything that had happened yesterday. It was another resolution he knew he would not be able to keep the moment he saw the note written in Eddy's handwriting, left on his laptop. In it, he informed him about the filename under which he saved the document with the homework and asked him not to wake him up because he intended to sleep until noon.

Brett felt guilty, but he had no idea how to repay him.

Then he glanced at Eddy wrapped in the duvet and, even though it was not intentional, Brett thought of drunk Brett's remarks. He still thought Eddy had pleasant features, but that was an objective statement. But to be in love with him? Come on! If anyone saw Eddy now! He lay with his mouth open, probably drooling on the pillow. Disgusting. Totally disgusting...

Brett felt a wave of emotions not associated with disgust.

If he had slipped under Eddy's covers and laid next to him, then....

...that would be very weird, and he would miss classes.

He left and headed toward the campus, so lost in thought that he almost bumped into someone twice.

Because you don't just go from being homophobic to being in love with a guy, it doesn't work that way. And other than that, nothing had changed at all, he still hated the thought of Eddy dating Daniel and...!

Oh.

***

Brett thought it couldn't be true, but day by day he realized more and more that it could be, and it was, true. The further he looked back, the more he realized that somewhere in his mind he always wanted Eddy to be by his side. He just hadn't understood how much until now. The joy of not being homophobic was rather quickly overshadowed by the crushing realization that he was most likely in love with someone who was taken. And out of that sadness came some strange irritation, irritation with Daniel, with himself, with Eddy, with the world... If Eddy noticed that, he didn't comment on it, and Brett was grateful for that.

Perhaps it was also related to the fact that Brett was trying to behave as usual, because he surely had no reason to be annoyed. And he knew - no matter what would happen, Eddy had always been, and Brett hoped would be, his friend. And you don't treat friends like shit just because you have feelings.

***

The sushi bar was already a symbol of bad luck, Brett should have known that. Still, having learnt no lesson, he walked in and stood in front of the counter, not yet deciding to sit down, so he could look at the displayed offers.

And then the door opened, letting Eddy and Daniel in. They were deep in conversation, so they didn't notice him, but Brett was sure it was only a matter of time.

In his panic, he did what any reasonable person would do in his situation - he jumped over the counter and hid under it, gaining a shocked look from the waitress standing there. He was slowly beginning to question his sanity.

Brett tried to plead with his eyes to her not to say anything and give him away. She hadn't questioned his behaviour yet, but you could tell she wasn't happy about it, and, well, you couldn't really blame her either.

Why did he always do that? Instead of saying hello like a civilized person, he acted like he had something on his conscience. And he hadn't even done anything wrong! Each day, he only got closer and closer to telling Eddy that if he accidentally wanted to dump his boyfriend and go out with Brett, he was all for it. But it hadn't come to that yet, he was innocent, he might have had a few fantasies from time to time, but they were all very harmless and decent, he swore!

Their voices were getting closer and Brett figured that for some reason Eddy and Daniel were idiots who thought the best place to sit and have private conversations was at the table right next to the counter. There was no help for him now. They would notice him as soon as he'd get up.

The waitress's glances were growing impatient, and Brett knew he couldn't stay there forever. He was lucky enough that she didn't call any security or other staff on him. Because of this, Brett got up, although his legs felt like jelly.

"Brett!" Eddy called at once, probably surprised by Brett's sudden appearance from behind the counter. Brett tried to smile as naturally as possible. He walked over to their table. "What were you doing there?"

Brett knew he had to come up with an excuse, but he didn't have time to think, so he said the first thing that came to his mind.

"I work here," he mumbled, and realizing that it did not clarify the situation, he added, "My friend lost her contacts, I was helping her look for them."

Brett smiled at the waitress, who seemed to have decided to avoid any eye contact with him at this point.

Eddy frowned his eyebrows, and Daniel just smiled politely.

"Since when?" his friend asked as if he didn't believe him. Brett wouldn't believe himself either.

"From today. I mean - I'm not working. It was my trial day. I wanted to earn extra money and saw the ad. They invited me so I could try, but I don't think it's for me..." he gathered all his seriousness and tried to speak in the most normal tone of voice. He had successfully pranked a few people in his life by laying to them, but the lies were usually short-lived. He used to tell the truth immediately after and start laughing.

"Okay..." his friend said, and Brett discreetly let out the breath he was holding in. "You know, if you were short of cash somehow, you could have told me."

"No, it's not like that. Forget about it, it's not important anyway."

His friend still had a dubious expression on his face. Brett didn't blame him, it wasn't a convincing story at all.

Eddy pointed to the table.

"Do you want to join us?"

Brett considered that option. At first, he wanted to say no because he wouldn't be able to look that waitress in the eye if she came to their table, and he also felt it would be rude to interrupt their date. On the other hand, he COULD interrupt their date, and there was nothing he wanted more right now. But no. After all, he wouldn't be able to pretend for that long, at least not in front of Eddy. So he said goodbye, pretending to have something urgent to take care of, and left.