𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐁𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔- 𝐉𝐮𝐉𝐮 𝐖𝐚𝐭𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐬

i ; 5 stages

   —— grief. a very hard thing to bottle up or even control. death. a very hard thing to accept.

to go through all of the 5 stages of death had to be the worst part of it all. a'ziah an upcoming freshman at the university of georgia who's major is education just wanted the pain to end.

grieving over the loss of her best friend. the only person who knew the girl like the back of her hand. she knew of suicide cases that were ongoing because of cyber bullying or even bullying in general.

she always knew she never wanted to be in the spotlight. people were awful online but never had the same energy in person. she knew tyrese has supporters on tiktok but she never knew he had enough haters to make him end his life.

she didn't even know half of the comments or direct messages were of people telling him to kill himself because of his sexuality, race, and religion.

somehow and somewhere she got lost in her train of thought. the memories that weren't recorded nor shared with any and the memories that were.

sitting in her room that was dimly lit by the iphone fifteen pro max, scrolling through the endless memories via pictures and videos. she wanted her person back- she wanted her soulmate.

her best friend tyrese was the person who never wanted to dwell on the past, but to look forward to the future. he was very openly gay, everyone one around him supported him except for people online.

everyone knew that living in this work was tough, but for someone who was grieving it was tougher.

1. DENIAL.
   —— "he's not dead, he can't be." the girl who was hysterically bawling to her mother. the pair of women had just left the funeral and made it to the Anderson residence where the rest of the family had just arrived.

"honey." the older woman sighed. she didn't like to see her daughter upset about anything, but this was one thing that was out of her control. the pair had been friends since they were babies, so she knew the connection they shared.

"momma he's going to text me later and say this is all some prank. that's how we always joke." the girl laughed but her mother didn't.

she knew her daughter wasn't ready to accept the fact that she lost her only friend.

"he told me he loved me and said he would see me tomorrow." the girl sighed checking her phone every three minutes for a call or text, in which she never received.

"i'm sorry he's going love, but sitting here denying it will not bring him back. you have to live for him. do everything in your power to keep his name alive." her mother said but the words stung deep in her heart.

2. ANGER .
   —— "z please calm down." the girls mother pleaded as she threw everything in room to the ground. with smashing it or it just laying there. she wanted to let this rage in her out and this was the only way she knew best.

"NO! THOESE BITCHES KILLED MY ONLY SOURCE OF HAPPINESS. THEY'RE GOING TO PAY!" she screamed at her now frightened mother that was hiding a little behind rhe doorway.

she was truly frightened. not because her daughter was making a mess, but because her daughter was acting out of emotion. who knew what a'ziah would do before she finally broke down.

a'ziyah just wanted to be happy again, it's been about of week of bottled up emotions and she's finally had enough of holding them in. she was ready for revenge.

3. BARGAINING.
   —— snatching out the buss down brazilian wig tyrese installed on her head about a month ago was the toughest thing a'ziyah could do.

she never wanted to take the hair out. it was getting old and nappy so she had no other choice but too.

she would kill right now to rush to his house for him to throw it on and talk shit. they always had an amazing relationship but she would think but wonder.

if i spent the night none of this would've happened right?

why didn't i save him?

god let me go and bring tyrese back please.

what can i do to switch places with him?

4. DEPRESSION.
   —— sitting back in the overly messy room, a'ziyah was truly diagnosed with severe depression. going to see a therapist every tuesday and Thursday didn't help for the girl either.

her therapist was decent and that's who she wanted to talk to, hug, give endless amounts of love to.

she genuinely wanted to laugh but lately all she has been doing was crying. the heavy dosage of anti depressants didn't help. they made her feel one hundred times worse.

if her mother didn't force to get out of beat and eat, the girl would have eventually starved herself to death.

she wanted to leave earth, just to be with her soulmate but he wouldn't even want her to do that, she knew if it was the other way around he would crash out on anyone. she was willing to do the same z

5. ACCEPTANCE.
   —— the one obstacle a'ziah hasn't been able to get through. she wanted to live her life with keeping her best friends name alive. she decided it was best to transfer to the university of southern california. his dream school.

to say this was a great change for the girl, it was an understatement. she wanted to go somewhere he felt safe knowing him him he never felt safe anywhere but USC.

he always loved california, he always said he could be free and be loved down there. a'ziyah thought he was very loved in georgia but boy was she wrong.

so it was her mission to go the school and make the best out of it. she wanted to make a change and that is what she will do.

authors note.
okay had to start with something sad to build suspense. oh get ready for the slow burn.

the good stuff is coming up!