imperfect saga (ch-35)

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(cut to the island where Piccolo and Androids 16, 17, and 18 are staring at Imperfect Cell, who was previously spectating the battle between Piccolo and 17 from a cliff)

ANDROID 17: So what is this? Spearmint, your inbred mutant cousin or something?

PICCOLO: Wait... I thought she was on your side.

ANDROID 17: What? Why would I know her?

IMPERFECT CELL: Hello… sister...

ANDROID 17: Come again?

IMPERFECT CELL: In a moment... (to Android 18) And hello, my other sister. (starts wagging her tongue in an indecent manner)

ANDROID 18: (disturbed) Oh, f**k no!

IMPERFECT CELL: (to Android 16) And... um...

ANDROID 16: I am designated as Android 16.

CELL: ...Cool. Anywho... (jumps down from the cliff to ground level) You have my sincerest gratitude, Piccolo. Without power levels, I would have been left searching for them blindly. But thanks to your little skirmish, I have been reunited with my family. And we have so much catching up to do! (begins to power up) Haaaah...!

ANDROID 17: Okay, so am I alone, or did that not explain ANYTHING?!

PICCOLO: she calls herself Cell. She's one of Dr. Gero's creations; she's from the future.

ANDROID 17: Oh, sure, she's from the future. Yeah, and I'm a park ranger.

ANDROID 16: That sounds nice.

ANDROID 18: Can we FOCUS?!

(Imperfect Cell lets out an enormous blast)

(cut to Kame House)

TIEN: Guys, is that who I think it is?

KRILLIN: Yeah, oh yeah... Yeah...

MASTER ROSHI: Damn it! And we still don't have that detonator!

KRILLIN: (indecisive sounding) Yeah, no! Yeah! Yeah, no!

TIEN: We're out of time! We need to do something now!

KRILLIN: Yeah!

CHI-CHI: Here's a thought... How about one of you who can fly faster than the speed of sound go meet Bulma halfway?

(pause...)

KRILLIN: ...Chi-Chi, you beautiful woman who lives in Goku's house!

CHI-CHI: That is what I do.

MASTER ROSHI: Well, then, which one of you--?

KRILLIN: DIBS! Woo-hoo! (takes off)

MASTER ROSHI: Well, that works. Guess this is all we can do until Goki, alter Y/N and Vegeti get ba--

TIEN: ENOUGH! I AM NOT A SPECTATOR! I AM A WARRIOR! (flies off to the battlefield)

MASTER ROSHI: I can never read that guy...

CHI-CHI: Aren't you going to help, too?

MASTER ROSHI: No.

CHI-CHI: Is it because you're old?

MASTER ROSHI: Yeah...

CHI-CHI: Where's Yamcha?

(a toilet is heard flushing inside Kame House as Turtle looks at the front door)

YAMCHA: (from inside the house) Hey, Master Roshi, you're out of toilet paper! (the toilet is heard backing up) Oh, no... Oh, geez... Oh, God...!

[OPENING SEQUENCE]

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