All Fear The Queen

Ignorance

(Picture by Saccharo.Kirby on Deviantart)

"What was that?" Mario confronted Luigi after the two had returned from Peach's castle. The two had been tense ever since the meeting ended. Luigi tried to brush him off but Mario cornered him in the kitchen, holding him against the counter. "How could you say no to Peach like that?!"

Luigi frowned at him. "I told her I'd think about it," he answered, "there's a difference." He gripped Mario's wrists, trying to get his brother off of him. Despite their height difference, Mario was much stronger then Luigi. "You know our entire reputation revolves around being on Peach's good graces-!"

"Your reputation revolves around Peach," Luigi retaliated, causing Mario to grip him and throw him to the floor. "Do you even hear yourself, Lu?! You know damn well that you're nothing without me."

He was right. Luigi knew exactly that he wasn't much of anything without Mario—but that went both ways. He looked down and rubbed his face, trying to not cry in front of his brother. Mario frowned suddenly and sighed softly, kneeling down and gently picking Luigi up off the floor. Luigi shoved him away.

"Lu, I'm sorry-!"

"I know.."

Luigi brushed himself off before he went to his room, wanting to be alone after the day he had. He went to his room and sat on the floor by his bed. He took off his cap and looked at it before throwing it to the other side of the room.

He started tearing at his suit that he was still wearing, the tightness and sudden silence started to make him panic. He tried to breath, but it was hard as his chest began to tighten and ache. His ears started ringing as his breathing started getting heavier. He hit the sides of his head with his hands as he felt hot tears start going down his face. He felt like he was suffocating, the ringing getting louder as he started removing his clothes as fast as he could.

Air.

He needed air.

His body shook but kept him rooted to the floor. He wanted to get up but every part of him was as heavy as chains. He wanted to scream, but his throat burned and no words came out. His head felt like it was underwater, unable to come up for precious oxygen. He couldn't even bring himself to lay on the floor because then there wouldn't be anything to catch him if he started to fall. He could feel his bed against his back—that meant he was safe. He could tell what was behind him, so he should've had control over the situation, right?

Right?

The tears were ruthless in their descent down Luigi's flushed cheeks. They continued until Luigi wasn't sure if he would ever be able to stop crying. He could feel his hair between his fingers, doing his best in his state to not start yanking and pulling.

'Luigi?'

Was that knocking? Was it Mario? It was hard to hear when his ears were numb and water-leveled. No; it couldn't have been Mario. He was just hearing things, and besides, Mario always kept to himself after the fights the two had.

'Luigi, please.'

For it seemingly not being Mario, the voice was very convincing.

'I'm sorry I got at you like, I'm just as frustrated with the meeting results as you are.'

No.

No.

NO.

NO!

He always did this. He was always trying to apologize and make the situation right when it couldn't be fixed. Not to mention, trying to make the situation about him every chance he got. He didn't get to say that shit and live in ignorance to what Luigi had to go through for as long as he could remember. He was always sidelined, always underestimated, always disrespected simply because he actually gave a damn.

And yet, ignorance was one of Mario's strong suits. He was always allowing his shadow to grow from the growing light of his ego, and keeping Luigi content within it. Even their family could see it when Luigi couldn't get past the veil of his denial. Their father had always warned that Mario was dragging Luigi down with all the obscure ideas running in the older brother's head.

'If you do accept Peach's request, I promise I'll help in any way I can.'

Why couldn't he stop lying? Why couldn't he stop making it about himself? Why couldn't he just shut up and give a damn for once?!

Luigi shut his eyes tight as he curled in on himself, pressing his chin against his cold chest. He dug his nails into his shoulders, numb to the pain. He wanted Mario to go away, or perhaps it was that he wanted Mario to not exist anymore. Which was it?—a third option. It was a strange mix of wanting Mario to know how he felt, wanting him to know how much it hurt to see the one you look up to see you as nothing.

Yes!

Yes, that's what he wanted.

Or was he simply reacting out of response for the situation?

That could've been it too.

'I'll um... I'll put your dinner in the microwave for when you want it.'

The faint thudding of footsteps walking away from the door wasn't enough to calm Luigi completely. He had too much to think about to allow such a little noise calm his all but hysteric thoughts. Peach wanted him to lead her building project. King Boo was to have a night with him for the ghostly King to even allow Peach to use the Backwoods. Out of all people, King Boo was the last person Luigi wanted touching him.

Despite only being in the world of the mushroom kingdom for less then six years, Luigi had enough experiences to warrant his share of secrets. There were things he had been through that neither Mario, nor Peach, or even Daisy, had earned the right to know. In his mind, if the three of them hadn't made any effort to ask—they didn't deserve to know. They deserved to live in their ignorance. All three of them were just perfectly little ignorant pieces, that moved about the board for the their own advancements.

When did he stop crying?

Had he always gotten this red and flushed after these attacks?

Could he move his arms now?

One.

Two.

Now his legs—one, two.

He was slowly brought back into reality by the sound of the soft rain outside. It the was the kind of rain that one would curl up to a good book; similar to the white noise kind but softer. He slowly moved his hand to his neck, moving along his veins to feel his pulse.

Dub-Dub. Dub-Dub. Dub-Dub.

Oh good. He was still alive.

He shakily rose to his feet, holding onto his bed for support. Once he had gotten to his feet, he dragged himself towards his bathroom. He forced himself across the bathroom floor and looked at himself in the mirror, briefly noting the nail marks he had left in his shoulders. He would have to cover those up so Mario did give him any more fake worry. Ignorance was bliss after all.

What Mario didn't know wouldn't kill him.