Teacher, Teacher

Nine

Nine

Our days in Minnesota so far have been incredibly cold, but fun. Finally meeting and speaking with Denise put everything in Luther and Prince's life into prospective. I learned that a year after Prince and I broke up, Denise met Prince at a gig. They dated on and off twice before staying friends before she got pregnant with Luther. They didn't speak for awhile as Luther's father was quite controlling and abusive towards Denise, and eventually one day he was gone out of their lives. That's when Prince flew to Canada and met Luther and here we are now. I was proud of Prince for stepping in and helping her out. He's been an amazing father figure towards him and I see it in Luther's behavior.

Today was Thanksgiving and every day the first thing on my mind was the news I had found out at the library. I had processed it, but I hadn't told anyone. My mother's words echoed in my head of it being in the past and it didn't matter anymore. It's exactly what I told Prince when he brought up the past. For the past few days I've been waking up earlier than Prince just thinking about if it was worth it to tell him. One one hand, he was obviously the father. On the other hand, it doesn't matter anymore. I would toss and turn so much in the morning it would bound to wake him up. I didn't want to ruin today because it was a holiday with his family, and I had to remember that mom was coming today, too.

My stomach was in knots every time I thought about it. Even making love to Prince the other night, the thought made its way into my mind and I don't know why. It was a feeling similar to guilt. While he was sleeping, his fingers slipped between mine as he was spooning me. "Wanna go to the tree this morning?" He asked just waking up. "Yeah, that sounds fine." I tried to sound half asleep. He placed a few kisses on my neck before getting out of bed. That's perfect. I could tell him that way if he had any sort of reaction he could get it out there and no one would see him. He was always like that. He didn't want anyone to see him cry.

Denise was awake and happily cooking away. Who knew that an artist could love cooking so much? "Denise, we're heading out real fast. You need me to pick up anything?" Denise was rolling dough on the counter top. "I don't think so. I'll call you if I do, though." Prince took my hand before we walked out to the car and started driving through the farmlands outside of Minneapolis. "Are you okay? You've been quiet the last few days." Prince said. "I'm okay. That stuff with mom really got to me the other day is all." Prince reached over to hold my hand. "Don't let it bother you. You know how my folks were." I frowned. "But those are you blood. My real parents don't even...they probably don't even think about me." He pulled my hand to his mouth to kiss my knuckles while he held the wheel with his other hand. "Your blood isn't always your family." He said. "I know...that's why this bothers me...I thought she was my family."

We pulled into the old camp site and I remembered it because of the lake. Where we camped was full of bushes now, but our tree that stuck out by itself was still there and was much taller now. "Damn, she held up. After all these blizzards, after all the storms, she's still here." He said as we got out of his car. We walked up to the old tree and as soon as my hand touched the trunk I felt an overwhelming sense of...happiness. I began to cry. Prince put his hand atop of mine. "Mandie, what's wrong?" He asked. I sniffled and leaned my back against the tree. "I just...I love this tree. I remember it." He smiled and leaned in to give me a kiss. "I'd come and visit this tree a lot. Every time I came home I'd come see it, but it's been awhile since I've seen it because I've been living in LA off and on." Prince had me pinned against this tree, not sexually, but romantically. His forehead leaned against mine. "Tell me what's bothering you. I'll make it go away." He whispered. I looked around. "Well, it's cold. I don't think you can make the cold go away." "I can hold you." His eyes were looking lovingly into mine like he was searching my soul for the answer.

"I...I wanna show you something." I said to him. I slithered my arm between us to reach into my pocket and he stood straight, but I was still leaning against the tree. He unfolded the paper which was from that newspaper article I read and I felt my shoulders shaking, but not from the cold. It was almost like a fear response. I was scared how he would react or if he'd be really angry at someone that isn't even on this earth anymore. I rubbed the fabric of my coat for comfort watching his eyes dart across the page as he was reading. His lips slowly drooped into a frown and he stuffed the paper into his coat pocket.