Wisteria Cottage

Let's go?

Carter

Wow. Definitely did not expect that. Maybe I should have from the way he kissed me back last time but he did literally flee afterwards. I've done my best to give him some space and not bother him, especially after he showed up the other day with a bodyguard. I don't say anything right away because I should probably actually think about this and I sure as hell can't bite his head off. I take a drink and I know I'm making him nervous. I turn towards him and he surprises me by meeting my eyes. "I didn't expect that."

"That's not an answer" he mumbles.

He's blushing and it's pushing all my buttons. He's too sweet to get caught up in my mess. "I can't quite figure you out."

"Nothing to figure out."

Of course there is. He seems to be, against all odds, an actually decent human being. I obviously don't know him that well but I'm a good judge of character and he's intrinsically good. That's rare. The fact that he puts up with me is even more rare.  "The thing is, I'm not really here to... to get involved with anyone." I'm supposed to be getting my head on straight, not thinking with the other one.

"Oh! Me neither. I'm absolutely not asking to date or anything, just to uh... well whatever. I'm vers and more than happy to just mess around if you prefer."

"For the summer, or?" I need to know exactly what he's thinking.

"No, just maybe once. I uh, I tend to get attached and you're going back. Um, when ARE you leaving?"

"Little over a month." It's weird to think of going back. This island is sort of in a time warp and I feel like I just got here and can also hardly remember not being here. I have to think really hard to remember the smells and sounds of Chicago. I should send Chief a text and check in. Let him know how much I appreciate this. Of course, me being that nice might make him really worry.

"Oh, well think about it then. I mean, if it's not an automatic 'no'. I'll obviously be around.

Who would say no to him? He's cute, sun-kissed and sweet. He's everything a summer fling should be. Besides, I can't even try to convince myself any more that I'm not interested. Why else would I wait for him every morning like a stalker? Why would I walk into town for coffee? Why would I kiss peach juice off his... Fuck, there's only one answer here. I lean in, wrap my fingers around the back of his neck and then let him come to me. I'm not gonna push him, even if he was the one to offer.

He hesitates only a second before I end up with my ass against the railing and him pressed against every inch of me. He's just a bit shorter than me so I widen my legs and he steps between them, putting us eye to eye. And mouth to mouth. We only pause long enough for me to let him slide my shirt over my head. "God, I love this" he mumbles against my neck as his hands roam over my chest. And then I take his mouth again. Suddenly he stills. "Can we go inside?" Shit, yes, we are literally in view of most of the island. We sort of spin and shuffle towards the door and I end up mostly lying on my couch with a gorgeous Finn draped over me. I'm already trying to remember if I brought condoms or we'll have to handle this another way when he sits up. "I... I can't do this. I'm sorry."

I let him stand up but then sit up and take his hand so he doesn't run away. "What's wrong?"

"I don't even know your name!"

It had only been a fun joke to me; I never realized it actually bothered him. "Everyone calls me Carter."

"Calls you?" And this may be the first time I've ever heard a distinct curtness to his voice. "So I STILL don't know your name." He shakes his head. "I'm sorry, this was a stupid idea. I'm just not made this way. I don't do this."

He's upset. Really upset. This is why I was sorry I kissed him last week. I knew, deep in my bones, that he wasn't a casual guy. I never meant for any of this to happen, not that I'm regretting the hot and heavy although I am rather uncomfortable behind my zipper. I wiggle enough to give me room to adjust and then tell him "my name is Ronald which is why everyone calls me Carter. It's my last name. Most of the guys at work go by their last names, I always have. Sorry, it wasn't some huge secret, I thought we were having fun with it. You okay?"