The smile etched on my lips stayed well into the morning when I woke up beside Fionn's sleeping form. His face was tucked into my neck and his arm draped over my body. I didn't want to move from his embrace. Like a chocolate with a liquid center, the outer shell had dissolved with just one touch, melting into a deeper, more vulnerable connection with one another.
After Kyle, the thought of letting another man past the walls I had so carefully built up was something I wasn't sure I wanted to let happen ever again. After all, I had given eight years of my life to him. How could I just jump right back in? But with Fionn, it was different. We both were burned before by our prior relationships. We were like two perfect puzzle pieces, each filling a void that the other was missing.
With Fionn, I felt whole again.
I turned over, running a hand along Fionn's chest as it rose and fell. My fingers traced the outline of the celtic knot tattoo under his right collarbone. The tattoo featured a triangle interwoven to form a circle in the center. It was simple yet daring and something I never expected from Fionn.
He shifted in the bed and draped an arm over my shoulders, tangling his fingers through my hair.
His blue eyes blinked open and he smiled at me, pressing a soft kiss to my lips. "Morning, Em."
My grin widened as I kissed him back. I couldn't believe this was real. "Morning."
"So, last night was pretty great."
"Mhm."
His fingers continued to lace through my hair, sending shivers of joy down my spine.
"Just so you know, I'm not typically the type of girl who sleeps with a guy even before the first date," I said.
Fionn chuckled. "Well, good. Because I'm not the type of guy who sleeps with girls before the first date either. Nor the second."
I pressed a kiss to his chest. "You are such a gentleman. I'm sorry I waited so long for us to have the conversation about stargazing."
"Em, I think we've both done enough apologizing." He sat up to readjust his position, letting the covers pool around his waist before pulling me back against him and the propped up pillows.
"Can I ask you a question?" I bit my lip.
"Aye."
I tilted my head up to look at him. "When you were telling me about the stargazing yesterday, you mentioned your mom."
Fionn's smile wavered and he pulled his fingers through his hair. "Right. I guess in the spirit of vulnerability, I should tell you. Mum and Dad...they were both so buried in their work even when I was young. But it was different."
"How so?" I asked.
"Dad would spend time locked in the study running numbers and attending business meetings that Cat and I weren't allowed to be part of," Fionn explained. "Mum was more adventurous; it's probably why she's an astronomer. Both my sister and I take after her, and she would take us on weekend trips to see the stars while Dad was out of town."
I looked at him in awe. He spoke about his mother with such admiration, a complete contrast to how he talked about his father.
His voice cracked and his expression darkened, filling his eyes with pain. "But when I was eighteen, she got sick."
My heart lurched, but I waited for him to continue. I knew how hard it was to lose a parent.
"The doctor suggested a change in scenery and her job paid her a bonus to live in Germany where she could have better air and one of the best astronomy jobs in the world. I thought we'd all move together, but Dad didn't want to leave the business."
My hand slipped over his, lacing our fingers together. I wondered, did he blame his father for what, to an eighteen year old, seemed like abandonment? "Do you get to see her often?"
Fionn shrugged. "Just holidays. When we're together, it's the one time a year when my dad and I get along."
I frowned. "Why's that?"
"Mum's charm." His smile returned. "The man buries his arse in work all weeks of the year but turns to mush when he sees her."
"Sounds like us," I teased. It was bold, having only known him for a few weeks, but it was the truth.
Fionn took that moment to playfully whack me with a pillow. I shrieked and he tackled me with kisses on the bed until I surrendered. When we returned to an upright position, his expression sombered.
"It still drives me mad," he said. "He's too stubborn to take more time off to see her."
"Nobody's perfect," I murmured.
"Yeah." He brushed his thumb over my bare shoulder. "Anyway, what would you say to a day out?"
"Oh yeah?" I raised my eyebrows. "Two days off in a row? My, Fionn. If you're not careful, someone might think you're spoiling me."
He laughed, his blue eyes shining.
"But, I accept. Where do you want to take me?"
"Mossyard beach," he replied. "It's the perfect little getaway for a day trip. I'll arrange everything with Lachlan."
"Sounds great." I leaned over to kiss him once more before rolling off the bed and hurrying to the bathroom to change.
As I glanced in the mirror to prepare for the day, I thought about Fionn's lips on my neck and the feel of his hands on my body.
Kyle's hands slipped lower and lower, teasing each item of clothing with a flick of his tongue.
The bottle of moisturizer crashed to the ground and I jumped back so that it didn't crush my toes. It had been days since memories of my ex clouded my mind. Fionn was the only other guy I had ever been vulnerable with, but he'd also opened up more to me than Kyle ever did.
Maybe I should've been more hesitant before sleeping with Fionn. Fionn certainly proved to me that he cared, but how did I know that what happened wasn't just a one time, heat of the moment...mistake?
I shuddered, brushing the thought away. It wasn't a mistake. It was real.
Still, I needed to know how he felt—emotionally, since I knew for sure how he felt physically.
When I returned, Fionn was sitting on the edge of the bed shirtless. I lingered in the doorway, twirling my hair.
Mm, I could get used to waking up to him beside me. I smiled at the thought.
He crossed the room and immediately wrapped his arms around my waist, lifting me up like he had last night. Pressing my body against his, he captured my lips against his mouth. My hands instinctively cupped his face, brushing my thumbs along his jawline.
He set me back down, breathless, tucking my hair behind my ears.
"We should talk about—" I started to say.
"C'mon, we should—oh, sorry. What were you going to say?"
I cleared my throat. "We should talk about, um, last night. And what it means—essentially—for, you know, us."
"Right." Fionn scratched the back of his head. "We should get something to eat first." He started for the staircase.
I ran down the stairs after him. "But what about your shirt?"
