secrets
○ if you want to keep a secret, you must also hide it from yourself. ~ george orwell ○
🥀
"Mom knew you, too?" I asked, looking at Amber curiously.
She nodded. "I've been friends with your parents for years. I never knew she was capable of... this, though."
"Capable of what? What do the underlines mean?"
Amber ripped a small piece of paper from one of the entry pages that wasn't shown in the black light and flipped through the journal, writing down each underlined word and number.
"Twelve... Fifty-two... Dove... Road... Rainbow... California," she read, lifting her hand from the paper when she was done.
"It... It's an address?" I looked over the words again, taking the pencil from Amber and writing underneath her words. "1252 Dove Road, Rainbow, California. Right?"
"Rainbow, California?" Amber looked back at the address, picking up the journal again and going to the first entry. "Your mom grew up in Rainbow. See? Here." She pointed at the first page of Mom's journal.
Entry 1
21st of January, 2001
Moving away from Rainbow was the best decision I ever made. I hate it there. I hate the man that took advantage of me. I hate that I ever trusted him. I hate that I left my baby there at that orphanage. I hate that the baby may never know his father. I hate that he might not ever know me. Oh, universe, why me?
My jaw dropped. Baby? In 2001? In Mom's hometown? That couldn't be me... I was born in 2002 in Mountmend. Did that mean...?
Amber finished for me. "You have a brother?" She stared at me, then looked back at the journal, then her gaze came back to me. "You have a brother."
"I... Who is he?" My head felt like it was going to fall off my neck. It was too heavy. Was it getting stuffy in here? "Mom doesn't even know who the father is... Go to the next entry."
Amber flipped the page, and we read through this entry just the same.
Entry 2
4th of February, 2001
Why, oh why, did I ever put this journal down? I have a lot to let out here, journal, so get ready. A man named Samuel found me on the street a few days ago. He told me that the apartment that he shared with his best friend had plenty of space for me to stay. I tried to refuse, but the nice guy didn't let me. He brought me back to his apartment and brought me to his room where he laid me down for a nap while he ran a bath for me.
His best friend- which turned out to be a woman- helped me into the tub-
"Man, she rambles on, doesn't she?" Amber said, using her finger to skim forward to another part of the entry. "Ah, here we go."
I continued where she pointed, scooting closer to save my strained neck from too bad a cramp.
I hid my journal underneath Samuel's Bible in his nightstand. I hoped that he wouldn't notice that it was there, as this is my most prized possession- the only possession I had at the moment, really. I just hope that I'm welcomed here for a long time. I could get used to this place.
