BitterSweet Cherries

Chapter Six

I had been staring at the ceiling of my room for the last half hour. The rest of the girls had woken up not too long after Lauren had ran out. After telling them that Lauren had some family emergency, Whitney volunteered to take Jessica and Angela home. She was already leaving early because she had work later.

Once everyone left and I figured Lauren had reached home I called her house a few times (no answer) and left a voicemail before giving up and going to lay back down.

I hadn't realized how close I'd become to Lauren since being back but now it was all I could think about. Don't get me wrong, Lauren was gorgeous and interesting to be around. I was flattered, but I wasn't attracted to her. I considered Lauren a close friend and I worried about what this would mean for that. Was this just a fluke? Some impulse based on curiosity. Or did Lauren... like me? I hadn't given her any hints or flirted with her, Had I?

Finding no peace in my thoughts, I decided to go for a jog. It was lightly drizzling, just enough where I needed to put on a hood. I took my iPod and earphones as well. Dad didn't like me running with music, saying I needed to be aware of my surroundings, but I needed the distraction.

The time went by fast, too fast, and before I knew it I was back home. Out of breath and drenched in a mixture of sweat and rain.

I push the door open, locking it behind me and taking out my earphones. The smell of coffee instantly greets me.

"Helena?" Bella calls from the kitchen. She's leaned over, rummaging through the fridge.

I give a hum of acknowledgment, too out of breath to fully answer, before hopping on the kitchen counter.

I take a few seconds to collect myself before asking, "What'cha doing?"

"Making breakfast," Bella answers, pulling out some ingredients from the fridge and setting them on the counter. Then she pulls out an ice-cold bottle of water and hands it to me.

I immediately chug it down, the coolness soothing me.

"Have I ever told you you're the best sister in the world?" I compliment.

"Not nearly enough" Bella deadpans, "So, what happened to everyone? I thought I heard someone run out of here this morning."

I bit my lip, a nervous tick that I hadn't done in years. "Yeah, that was Lauren. She had a family emergency and had to leave. Whitney took Jessica and Angela home."

Bella nods quietly, starting to cook.

I watch her pull out pans and mix eggs, finding myself enraptured at the calmness of it all. I'd always wished I was good at cooking. The monotony of following a recipe. The sound of pots and pans and sizzling and clanking, all mixing together to form one melody. It just seemed so relaxing.

"Hey," Bella nudged me, "Everything okay?"

I guess I'd been too quiet for too long. "Yea," I sighed. "Everythings fine."

There was an awkward pause. "...You know you can talk to me right?" Bella spoke, eyes trained intensely on the stove

And I did desperately want to talk to Bella about it. To get everything that'd been bothering me off my chest. All the emotions and feelings flittering around my head. But the words got stuck in my throat. Telling her about what happened felt like I'd be betraying Lauren. I didn't even know where to begin talking about my dream. And I'd seen the way her and Jacob had interacted. Telling her about the random butterflies I'd felt when oogling him or about the unpleasant feeling in my stomach when he lit up at her presence felt wrong.